The Roads are Dry, but Gas is over $3

I emailed my pastor's wife on last night. I simply told her that I was having a hard time. She emailed me back to come to her office to talk. I got to her office at around 11am this morning. I told her that I was losing everything--I didn't have a place to live, I'm behind on my car payment, the storage facility sent me a letter saying that if I didn't pay them, all my stuff would be auctioned off, etc. etc. etc.

She simply said, "You need to go to Jenny's."

Backstory....

Earlier this year in February, I had a meeting with her and I told her that I was behind on my rent and the landlord wanted me out. During this time, I had just broken up with Coach and I had also gotten robbed at gun point. My mind was crazy. Coach was driving me crazy and I was afraid to go out at night or when it was dark outside. She told me that I needed to keep myself covered, meaning that I needed to have someone to help me when it relates to dating and men. I have a history of "moving too fast" and getting myself into trouble as it relates to dating and it has left me heartbroken on numerous occasions. So to keep myself saved, I needed to have someone that I could be accountable to. She told me that Jenny needed someone to be her roommate and that she would mention it to Jenny to see if I could move in with her.

Jenny and I had gone to the same university, however, we graduated two years apart form each other. We became friends a couple of years ago and we were getting to be friends even more at the beginning of this year. So I was happy to be able to move in with her. She had the space and she was sort of like me, she didn't have many friends. Jenny told my pastor's wife that all she does is sit at home and doesn't really go out or do much. So my pastor's wife figured this would be good for the both of us--I needed a place to stay and someone to help cover me as I dated and she needed a friend and companion. Everything was good.

But, things didn't go as planned.

Initially, when Jenny and I talked about it, she wanted me to pay rent. At that time, I was okay with that because I was working. She wanted me to pay $300 a month. That was cool, I was making $18/hour working 88 hours every pay period. $300 was okay with me. However, Jenny also owned a daycare center out of her home and to maintain her license, if anyone came to live with her, they would need to have their background ran by children and family services. Just a technicality to ensure that no pedophiles were going to be around children. I was cool with that. But, there was one issue..... There was a warrant for my arrest. Remember this story. Well, I hadn't gotten that issue taken car of, so when Jenny gave me the papers, I just shuffled my feet. I bided my time trying to figure out what to do because I was sure my background was gonna come back that I needed to turn myself in to the police. Before, I could get the situation taken car of something happened.

Jenny and I worked together on a project for my job. When I started the project, I went to a meeting that explained what I would be doing. I came back, presented to project to the staff, Jenny, included, but I guess I didn't explain it well enough because Jenny wanted my boss to have a meeting with us all to explain the project. Some words were exchanged and I got offended because in essence, I felt that my co-workers didn't trust that I knew what I was doing to get the job done. I felt they didn't want to hear the instructions from me because they basically didn't think that I knew enough to do what I was supposed to do. I got offended and decided that since they didn't trust me, I didn't trust them and there went my relationship with Jenny. We didn't talk and each time we had a meeting, I didn't want to participate or be involved. I emotionally backed away from the team I was working with. Bad move on my part. A few months later, my boss called us all in and told us we needed to deal with whatever was going on because we needed to work as a team and if we couldn't deal with each other enough to work as a team, then somebody needed to be replaced. After that meeting, we still didn't deal with the issue. I wanted to, but after that meeting, nobody stepped up to say, "hey let's deal with this" so we just swept things under the rug. A few months after that, we were having a meeting where only Jenny and I showed up and we had a mini pow wow to hash out some of the issues. Our plan was to have a big pow wow with everyone, but the truth of the matter is that the issue was between me and Jenny.

After that meeting everything was back to normal. We cold all worked together in harmony, but I was still kind of distant. I wanted to be friends with Jenny, but I didn't know how. It was like me and her were meant to be friends, but I let my pride get in the way of us being friends. I made excuses and she would often reach out to me by calling me, but I was distant and I didn't know how to break down that wall of distrust.

So fast forward to this morning...

My pastor's wife was telling me that I needed to let my pride go and start tearing down the walls in my heart and allow myself to be friends--true friends and Jenny was supposed to be my true friend, but I wasn't letting her. It's kind of like when your parent tell you that there are some people who are good for you and some people who aren't and Jenny is someone who is good for me to hang around. So, after my meeting with my pastor's wife, Jenny and I along with another friend went to dinner. We had a good time. After dinner, Jenny asked me if I wanted to go riding with her to see the houses. There is a wealthy neighborhood where the millionaires live (not all of them are millionaires, but some are). Jenny drives in the neighborhood because she said that she wants to live in that neighborhood. So we went driving to see all the big houses. In the car, I told her that I needed a place to live. I didn't explained anything. I just said that I needed a place ASAP. She said that her door was open. I then told her that I didn't have any money. She said that I didn't need anything. We then talked about the houses and after that, went to the mall. While we were leaving the mall, I asked her when I could come, she asked me when I wanted and I said, "how about tonight." She said, "yep" get your stuff and come over. I didn't tell her my stuff was in the car.

I went to Target to get some body wash, unpacked some of my stuff from my trunk and went to her house, which is where I am now, getting ready to go to bed.


As I was driving today, I realized that the roads were dry. No more slush and dirty snow. I went to the gas station and I was mad. Gas was $3.07. WHAT???????