I Am on My Way

I signed up for the "Y" on Black Friday. I was a little ticked when I saw how much it cost per month...UGH--$46.50 per month. Dang!! I better lose 10-30lbs from this membership. I want to start on tomorrow at 1pm, but it may not be until Monday.

I also bought a $15 work tote and a laptop for $150 (half price at the pawn shop Black Friday sale). Oh yeah and I braved the Black Friday crowd to buy glue for my chair leg....So people will stop falling over in it. Of course the glue that was recommended was crap, so I had to go all the way to Lowes to buy Gorilla glue.

I have enjoyed my Thanksgiving Holiday. I've slept, ate, shopped, and finished my laundry (well I started finishing it).

I will be gearing up for school in the Spring. I'll be taking a microeconomics class at the community college and another class at the university....

I'm on my way!!!

No Chemistry AT ALL

Mister came to hang out for a little bit.....

We hugged, chatted, had a few moments of awkward silence....There was no chemistry at all. I felt nothing
AT ALL. I am so glad. I'm not sure if he thought there was something, but there was nothing. It's interesting. It was not like when I saw him last time. This past January, we have an enormously good time--at least I did. But this time there was nothing. Yeah, we had a nice conversation, but that was all. Now he is on his way home.....

He wants me to come visit so that we can spend a day together. I don't think I"m going to do that.

Any...

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm off to the movies to see the Best Man Holiday!!

The Ex-Factor

This is crazy.....

Mister will be in town tomorrow and I am SO anxious. OMG!!!!! I want to see him, but I DON'T want to "get involved." I want to be a friend and an avenue for him to see Christ. THAT'S ALL!!! But my emotions are getting riled up. I've GOT to LEAVE the past in the PAST!! It's not that I want to be with him, I just am comfortable with him. And I am in a place where I want SOMEBODY and he happens to be able to fill that void if only for a few hours. Huuuuhhhhhhhhh................

I'm just gonna keep it simple. He's not gonna be eating because he's going to see his family. He will only come by for a little while....

We'll see how that goes.

Write the Vision

When I was 22, I sat down and wrote out my life. I had dates and deadlines--and it excited me. God was gracious to me. Almost all that I wrote came to past. However, I only planned for 10 years and so far I haven't planned for the next 10, 20, 30 years of my life. Actually, I have, but not like I did when I was 22. So, I"m going to do that...RIGHT NOW!!

1.  By the end of 2014, I will be happily married to a successful, God-fearing man. I want to marry a doctor (Ph.D), but that's not set in stone.

2.  By the end of 2015, I will be totally DEBT-FREE!!! Yes, my 50 grand student loan will be PAID OFF!!!

3.  By the end of 2016, I will have finished my coursework for my Ph.d. I will be done with my certificate in Non-Profit Management by the end of 2014 and my certificate in Community Planning in 2015. Most of the classes for those two programs will used to complete the coursework for my Ph.D. I know it will take time to complete the dissertation, and I will only be going to school part-time, so I'm giving myself the next 3 years to complete the coursework. Depending on where I am at the end of the coursework, will determine my completion for the dissertation, but I only want to work a year on the dissertation. So, I suspect that I will be done by the end of 2017.

4.  Somewhere between now (when I get married) and the next 4 years, I want to have a few babies. Well, not all of them. I want to have twins and then become a foster mom for some children.

5. I want to start my business by the time I'm 42. I would like to start the business with my hubby.

6. I want to open my cleaners by the time I'm 45. Or maybe 50.

7. I want to gross a million dollars by the time I'm 55.

8. I want to retire at 65.

9. I want to volunteer until I die at 95. LOL

10. I want to teach God's word to people who do not know Him!!

Still At It

I was not one of those little girls who grew up planning a wedding. Nope, I was career-minded. I wanted to get through undergrad and graduate school first. Then when I turned 30, 32, 33, 34....one of those ages, I would settle down and get married.

Well, I've turned 30, 32, 33, and about a couple of years ago....actually about 5 years ago, I started planning a wedding. Who am I going to marry? I have no idea, but I have the plan. And the thing about me planning is that it is not a plan until I write it down. So, I've been keeping different files and folders and picturing stuff in my head. So, my plans are all over the place. Some of the files I've lost or some of the stuff I've totally scratched like the Pnina Tornai dress. So, I need to get all of my plans together and write them out. Which I am going to do today. I also need to plan my budget and write that out....

Write the vision is what I'm doing today!!

190lbs

That's how much I weighed when I stepped on the scale last week. I'm afraid to step on there today because I had a whole 900 calories of red velvet cake over the past two days. But, all of that is going to change. In addition to my treaddesk (photos of my treadmill desk coming soon) that I've been using to work from, I am joining the YMCA. I can't wait. They said that on black Friday the joiner fee will be waived!!! I'm so happy.

Now, I'm getting into the season.

My goal has always been to lose 20-30lbs. The most I've lost was 25lbs over the past few years and I've always gained that back, but I'm going to pick that goal back up again. I can't wait.

I'm going to work on my schedule to lose 20lbs. I wardrobe depends on it!! My goal is to go to the work out classes.

I'm going to send a follow up email for my wedding dress. I'm always ring shopping and this is the new one that I've found. I LOVE IT!!

And it's only three grand. You can't hardly see the details because of the way it's is designed but it is beautiful.

Thanksgiving Day 2013

I'm not doing a traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner this year....My menu:

Lasagna and Cheesy Garlic Bread
Roasted Beets with Balsamic Glaze
Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Rosemary
Parmesan Asparagus
Cauliflower Mash

I don't know what I'm doing for desert yet. Maybe sweet potato pie?!

The Adventures Never Stop

I can truly say that I do not live a boring life. I was awakened at 4am by noise on the parking lot. I opened my eyes and realized that I was seeing flashing police lights. I looked outside and there was a huge fire truck on the back parking lot and in the background something was on FIRE!!!

WHAT???

I looked again and noticed that it was someone's car.

YEP, someone's car was on fire on the parking lot. I put on my robe and house shoes and went to investigate. The car was going up in flames. I didn't want to start snapping pics as the fired department was already out there to put it out....so I kept my camera to myself. I talked to the fire inspector and he said that he wasn't sure if the car was set on fire or if it was something electrical. He told me who it belonged to and there was no one in the building by that name. I knocked on a few tenants doors and was told that they saw a light skinned guy driving the car. I've seen the vehicle lately, but couldn't remember who I've seen driving it.

When the firemen put the fire out, they had to pop the truck to make sure that nothing was in the trunk. I was holding my breath (not literally) because I didn't want there to be a dead body in the trunk. There wasn't. LOL. The fire inspector said that sometimes people steal cars and then set them on fire.

WHAT????

I'm just glad it wasn't the building and that no one's car was next to it.....

Now, I have to try to get back to sleep.....Oh boy!

I've Been Accepted

I got my acceptance letter. Actually, I've got two letters. One from the university and one from the program. I am so excited!! I'm only going to take two classes. I'm only accepted to the program conditionally because I haven't taken microeconomics.

UGH!! I hate economics. I tried to take it twice when I worked at the community college, but I dropped both times. But, I guess this time I really have to get through it. I want to take it online at the community college instead of the university because it would be cheaper, but I'm not sure if they will let me.

We'll see.

Thanksgiving is this week. I am so not in the mood. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't get into this season. I NEED to get into the season. I finally started wearing a big coat.... Mister will be in town for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see him. I know, I know. I don't want to get involved or attached, but I NEED some companionship. And so far, he is it. The problem is he doesn't know it. He seems to believe that I'm getting married soon. Well, my plan is to get married soon. To who, is the problem. We'll see how Thanksgiving goes.....

My Life in Song

There have been several songs that have defined different periods in my life...I thought I'd share.

March 2002
I was going though a pretty rough period. The had just found out that the guy I was dating--had been dating for almost a year, was married. We broke up and a month later I found out I was pregnant. I was angry, scared, alone....It wasn't a good time. I bought Maxwell's tape and played it OUT.



 April 2004 Mister and I had broken up, but we were still seeing each other. The problem is I went on ONE date with March 2002 guy and I ended up pregnant. I called him and his reaction was similar to Usher. I had something important to tell him and he was blowing me off. When I told him, he didn't believe me. That was
the last time I talked to him

.

November 2004
Mister and I broke up again. It was a crazy, crazy time. We lost our daughter, I got really sick, and life was just topsy turvy...but, this song just kept playing.

 

 2005---- I was going nuts, in and out of relationships. Some times I thought I was going crazy. This songwas on my playlist all the time.



 Fall 2010 I found myself homeless, but NOT HOPELESS....I was looking for a miracle and my faith is all I had to hold on to. So I held on for dear life!!



 2011 The sun was starting to shine again. Thank God!!

 

In 2012 I was dating Coach and as much as I wanted that to work. It just wasn't going to. It wasn't meant to be. We went cloud 9 to hell very quickly. I wish I could get that part of my life back.



 This year, I've been all about praises to God!!

So In Love With YOU

I've been in love before, but never like this! This love is making me HIGH. I'm so in high I had a hangover from last night sans the nasty side effects. I'm in love with THIS love and I never want it to stop. And I wanna tell everyone. If everyone knew this type of love there wouldn't be much .... in the world.

So who am I in love with?

JESUS

Speaking of being in love there is a new movie out--I'm in Love with a Church Girl.

When I heard about it and watched the trailor, I was on the fence. I mean I've dated guys who were not saved and it was all to my detriment. But I think I may have pre-judged the movie. I do want to watch it cuz I'm a sucker for love stories. I'm not even sure if it will show here but I'll try to go see it in theaters.

Getting Anxious

I haven't heard back from school yet. I'm getting a little anxious. I REALLY REALLY wanna go to school in January. I can't think of a reason why I won't be accepted to the college. They accepted me once......And I've got the money for tuition. So, now is the time!!

God Has Smiled on Me

GOD IS GOOD!!!

I lost something VERY important and was almost sure I wasn't going to find it, but I did!!! God is GOOD!!!!

Don't Wanna be a FREAK

I'm pretty much a loner....

Not by choice, but by action. All my live, I've had one friend. In elementary school it was Kim; in junior high school it was Dawn, and in high school it was Tenelle. When I got to college, it was my roommate until she made friends and had more in common with Shay, so I was alone in the group. Yes, I had a few friends, but not a BEST FRIEND. I wanted a BEST FRIEND. I thought Mister was my BEST FRIEND at one time but he said I wasn't his BEST FRIEND, so that changed. Well, and the fact that we broke up.

Since then, I've been longing for a BEST FRIEND. Yes, I have a few friends that I hang out with, but not one that I hang out with and talk to all the time!! I haven't found a person that I want to talk everyday. As a matter of fact, I want to be friends with someone who is BETTER than me!! 

One of the issues is that a lot of people are married now and when my friends get married, I feel like I need to step aside and that 'Best Friend' will go to someone else. I've tried to make friends, but I've been picky, I must admit which I'm finding is not a good thing. I can't be picky.

Huh,

So, I've been a loner and have felt like a loner for a long time. I've always known that being a loner was normal. I mean, the Bible says that two are better than one and there are many reasons why....

When one falls the other will pick him up, when it's cold two can become warmer faster laying together......

The Bible alwasy says to make friends.

But, making friends is and has not been easy for me. Socially I've been awkward. I've learned that from experience. I actually don't like hanging out in large groups. I'm not sure. I'm uncomfortable and I don't know why.

What do you talk about with people? You can only talk about the weather so much!! I don't have any children....I'm not married....What do I talk about?

It makes me a freak!! Being a loner makes me a freak because God didn't make me that way. If he made me that way, I'd be OK with myself being that way, but I'm NOT OK being by myself. I've never been OK being by myself.

God, I don't wanna be a freak. I want to be enriched with people!!!

The 3 in Between

I was glad that I attended the leadership meeting at my church. Our guest speaker was an Apostle who always has a fresh word from God for us.  One thing that he illustrated was how to manifestation the promises of God in our lives; there is a five step process....

(Btw, these steps apply to any goal, career, or success that one wants to gain in their lives)

Step 1: Information
We receive information and this can be from the church, from godly counsel, from reading the word of God. Church doesn't change a person's life. We only gain information from church.

Step 2: Meditation
When we receive the information, we must mediate on it. Its through mediation that we reach the next step.

Step 3: Illumination or Revelation
Sometimes we hear something that has the potential to change our life or we make a goal for something and we aren't sure how to bring it to live. Through revelation that goal begins to form legs and arms and takes on a life so that it could become reality. Revelation causes us to "move."

Step 4: Practice
Once the "light bulb" comes one, we become to "move" and practice what it is we need in order to reach our destiny.

Step 5: Manifestation
This is the easy part!!!!


These steps are so simple, yet so difficult because Steps 3-5 takes W-O-R-K. We receive information all the time. But, taking that first action and meditation to become illuminated is often difficult.

I thank God for learning this because I am going to use this as a tool to help me fulfill my purpose in life.

In NEED

I am in NEED of a nice WARM BED. Yes, something plush, warm and cozy. It is 1:15 am (about to be 1:00am when time goes back) and I am at church. Yep, I am in the church working on a project that probably should have been done on Friday, or at least by this afternoon. I'm not complaining because I LOVE serving in the house of the Lord. But, boy am I TIRED. And it freezing cold outside. I think it's about 30 degrees and I don't have a coat on. Thank God for a nice warm apartment to call home, but I wish I had a nice warm BED that I could curl up and fall asleep. I will have it soon enough. January is my goal to have a new bed. I pray I meet it!!!

In other news....

I love being apart of my church. I love the family aspect, I love the team aspect and I just love God. I love my leaders and my church home. So I am a "son" in the house. Sonship is not gender specific in christiandom. So, I am a son and I am continuing to learn how to be a good son.

In being a good son, I am required to gain godly counsel for major decisions. So today after our leadership meeting, I mentioned to my Apostle that I wanted to become a foster mom. His reply, "That's serious work...." Then he asked why I made that decision. I told him that I've always wanted to provide a good home for children who needed good homes. I mentioned that I had friends who were foster children and their foster mom was a godly woman in the church and she raised them well.  He then asked when I start the process. I told him that I hadn't and that I wanted his counsel. He let me know that he would meet with me.

Of course that made me a little nervous. I mean, I was already nervous in telling him, but I'd rather get godly counsel than make such a major decision and regret it later.

So, I pray that God's will be done in this decision!!!!

That's Odd

I had a dream this morning that I was dating this guy that looked like Drake. He had swagger and was very well put together--so I thought. I would spend a lot of time with him and I even would sleep with him--not have sex, but sleep in the bed with him. For some reason, I was at my mom's and I would sneak him in to spend the night and I had my boundaries with him. We could not have sex and he respected that. I was goo goo eyed and in love and then my mom caught us. She disapproved and told me that she didn't like him. I couldn't understand why until one day we were hanging out and two people came up to us-they were case managers at the local mental health facility. They said that he had run away and they had been looking for him.

Then I woke up!!

Wow--I was in love with a man from the"loony bin:"

LOL.

That's why my mother didn't like him, she knew he was crazy even though he was fine and I loved hanging out with him, he was nuts!!!!

Thank God for warning!!!