Today I Prayed

I haven't prayed for the job at the university. At first it was because I didn't think I would get it. I mean, I've applied for so many jobs and have even had interviews, but the rejection letters kept coming. Another reason I didn't pray for it was because I was weighing the decision because I really want to work with the non-profit, but I didn't know how I would be able to do that and work a full-time job. Then, I wasn't thinking about the fact that my unemployment was running out. So, for the past few days I've been thinking about my passion and my boss at the non-profit asked me where my hear was concerning the organization. I emailed her and let her know that I still want to work and help build the organization. But, as I was realizing that my unemployment would be running out, I had the revelation that I would need to get a full-time job. So, why not work at the university? I would have time to work on the non-profit work and I would be working in an area that I was passionate about. So, this morning I prayed. I prayed and asked God if He could bless me with the favor to get the job. Today about 2:40 I got a phone call, but because I was working I wasn't able to answer it. I just got off and checked my voice mail. It was the Director from Millikin. She was wanting to know if I had another reference from when I worked at the community college. I quickly called the college and called my good friend there to ask her if she could be a reference for me. She agreed. I then emailed and called the Director back with the information. That excited me because she would not be asking me for another refernce if she didn't want me. Thank God!!! So, we'll see how this goes.

I'm Not Gonna Stress Myself Out

I'm not gonna make myself crazy waiting on them to call me or send me a rejection email. I'm just gonna breathe.

I watched Oprah's love letter on yesterday. I think it was an appropriate ending to her show. I will be starting my temporary data entry job on tomorrow @ 8:30am. It pays $10 an hour and it's full time work. That will keep me afloat for a while. God worked it out for me with the other temp job. They called me to let me know that they will call me to let me know when they need me. So I don't have to come up with an excuse to not open envelops for $8.25 and hour. Now I get to sit at a computer and enter data for $10 and hour. Thank God.

I'm closer to getting my sofa. I have $400 in the bank. I owe $225 on my sofa. But, I also owe my car note for $250. I can still wait until next Friday to pay the rest of my sofa and pay my car note on Tuesday. I think I'll do that.

Almost Here

I made another payment on my new sofa. I have $225 left. They said that it would be in the store in about a week. I'm so happy!! I was gonna stop by the furniture warehouse to see were they are with their prices. I still want the giraffe print chair.

If I really had some money, I would have gotten this sofa. There is something about those colors that I love:

Still waiting patiently for the call.

God Has Smiled on Me

I got a call from Larry (not his real name), my case worker at DHS. He asked me about my unemployment and about me working. I told her that my unemployment will be running out and that I"m working temporarily. He let me know that I don't have to pay the money back that I spent on my Link card. I was so happy because I spent about $300. I was so happy that I wanted to do a dance in the bathroom, but I needed to get back to work, so I did and the rest of the time at work, I spent praising God. This just lets me know that God loves me and I love HIM for being good to me and having mercy and giving me grace when I need it!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

One of my favorite songs:

Patiently waiting by the phone

I haven't heard anything from my job prospect at the university. All of my references have been check. I do know that they have to do a background check on me. Maybe that's the hold up. I've had several people ask me about it and I'm not gonna worry. I'm learning that God is in control, so I need to allow Him to be in control. When I've decided to make my own decisions, I've found that I screwed up. So, instead of being anxiously waiting, I'm patiently waiting. I was told by the admin asst that the person would not start work until July 1 and that is quite some time away, so I'm gonna to be patient. Does it unnerve me sometimes? Yes, but there is nothing I can do about it, so I talk to myself and tell myself to be patient. God knows. He knows!!! And I am grateful that He has never left me, nor forsaken me.

I got a call from my old job--the one that is responsible for my unemployment. They want me to work for a law firm for the next 2-4 weeks. It pays $10 and hour and it is data entry, which is much better than opening envelopes for $8.25 and hour. Since my unemployment will be running out in the next couple of weeks, I'm gonna take it. If I can work there for the month of June and then get the job at the university, that will be wonderful. Of course if I don't get the job at the university, I won't be mad, but that would be a wonderful plan.

New Sofa

I've been searching and searching for an affordable new sofa. I finally decided that I was gonna get this one for $397 at the furniture warehouse.

This sofa was $549 at the other furniture store. So I was grateful for my find.

On last Monday, I pulled into the parking lot of the warehouse store and immediately noticed the liquidation signs. I got excited. They were going out of business. My $400 couch was probably gonna be cheaper. I walked in the door, looked at the price and GASP!!! It was $597. WHAT??? WHAT???

I asked the sales person what happened. He gave me some line about how it was on sale at first, but now it wasn't. WHAT? This is a warehouse and I've been looking at this sofa for a month and now it's $597 with a 10% off sale sign on it. I asked him what he meant about it being on sale then? I asked him why was it 10% if that wasn't a sale. It was a crazy conversation and I asked the guy what I could do to get it for the price it was a week ago. He said he couldn't do anything. WHAT??

So I left.

I was a little discouraged and headed to Walmart. Right across the street from Walmart was a grand opening for Slumberland. I decided to check it out. I didn't know if they sold anything besides mattresses, but I was gonna see. I walked in, was greeted and told the salesman my problem. He explained to me how that works with liquidations. He was really nice. After walking around the showroom floor, I didn't see anything I liked, so I was headed for the door when I saw this:

This sofa is similar, but it's a sectional. And the price was amazing. Retail it was like $1400, but because of the grand opening it was $699. I sat, pondered, and sat some more--trying to picture a sectional sofa in my living room. The salesman came over to chat and I told him that this was a wonderful buy. He began to tell me about financing. I wasn't interested in that. Then he told me that they have layaway and I could put $50 down and there was no penalty for cancelling the order. WHAT? I was piqued now. After a few minutes, I was sold. It also made sense because I was gonna spend about $400 for a sofa, and a little over $600 for two accent chairs. Now, if I get the sectional, I only need one accent chair, and I"m gonna spend about the same amount of money!! THANK GOD. So, this past week I put $300 down on it and I have about $500 left (tax and delivery). I need to manage my money so that I can get it in the next couple of weeks.

Reference Checks

I got an email from my friend, Sadie (not her real name), who is one of my references for the Asst. Director position. She let me know that they contacted her for a reference. So, I contacted my other two references and one of them let me know that they have been contacted also. WOW. I'm not sure what to think. I want to be excited, but I'm so unsure. The interview was exhausting--all day long answering questions, from different people and groups of people. Also, doing a presentation. It seems like the position is right for me. The only thing that I don't like about the position is the campus environment. I don't have a problem with social justice, I also don't have a problem with inclusion, but I don't agree with accepting homosexual lifestyles. It's not that I don't like a person who is homosexual, I love everyone, I just don't agree with the sin. Just like I don't agree with the sin of doing drugs, lying or stealing. It's not the person, it's the sin and even though I can work with students who are homosexual, I don't think I want to be forced to accept that lifestyle and the campus is so open and accepting. Other campus' that I have been on does not openly promote that lifestyle, but this university does. Which is kind of weird for a presbyterian university. When I was there, there was an article in the student paper, front page, about the drug use, abuse, and selling on campus. WHAT?? Individuals openly (under the guise of fake names) told of their stories using and dealing drugs on campus. WOW!! I'm sure that ruffled some feathers, but everyone was so cavalier about it.

I was told by the admin asst that the position wouldn't start until July. My unemployment runs out in about 3 weeks (I think), so that means I have to budget. Hmmmmmmm

I'm Exhausted

I spent a good amount of time last night preparing for my interview today. I think I got home after mid-night and it took me forever to get to sleep. It was after 1am the last time I looked at the time. The alarm started going off at 4:45am. I finally got up at 5:39am to head to prayer. After prayer, I needed to finish my presentation for the interview, "Promoting Persistence and Success Among Underrepresented Students." It wasn't as simple as it seemed because in this case "Persistence" means retention and "Success" means graduation.

I got home from the church at 7:30 and hurriedly dressed in my suit and tied my hair back with a headband. Thank God for braids. I ran to my car and rushed to the campus. I got to the coffee house at 7:47am. From there it was one meeting after the next starting with the Director of the program followed by the President of the university and then the VP. I also met with the Dean of Student Development who has often talked to me during my homeless days sitting on the couch watching TV, pretending to be a college student doing work.

I have never in my life had a full day interview before, but apparantly this is how it goes in higher education. I just go finished and its now 6:60pm. I'm poooped. I'm going to get Jimmy Johns and go home to sleep. Well, after I put up the signs for out meeting tomorrow, that is.

Interview Today

I got a call on Wednesday evening from the university. They wanted to interview me for the Asst. Director position that I applied for. The call came from the Director, who I have known for a few years now. She set up a phone interview for Friday, May 13 @ 2pm. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if I needed to pray, fast....So I just prayed that God's will be done.

Friday came and my phone rang around 2:15pm. It was Mary (not her real name). She had two other people on the call also, one was a student, but the Director was not there because she wanted them to interview me and get and impression of me since I've worked with her in the past. It was a great interview. We had a wonderful conversation and before it was over Paige (not her real name) was offering me an opportunity to visit the campus for an ALL DAY INTERVIEW. WOW. I've never been on an all day interview before. She followed up with me later on in the day to confirm that I would meeting with the Director at 8am today. I will leaving the campus at around 5:30pm today. Whew. I will share the itinerary with you later. I've got to finish preparing for the presentation that I have to do as a part of the interview.

Breathe Again

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers!!!1


I traveled to E. St. Louis on Friday. My brother called me to ask if I could help him find a job. So, I took the day off to go job hunting with him. I got to E. St. around 3pm and we went from one fast food place to the next. We prayed and I told my brother to pray. After completing the applications, I took him and my niece to play laser tag. It was fun!!! Then we went to the mall. Macy's had an awesome clearance sale--they always do. I got my niece a pair of jeans and two shirts and my brother a t-shirt and a jacket. I also got my mom a rubber plant for Mother's Day. I came back home broke, but happy. I was supposed to bring Steph back some fried rice, but I ran out of money.

Gas is $4.19 here. Ugh!!! I'm not sure when my unemployment runs out, but I think it's soon. I might have about 5 weeks left.

I was apprehensive about applying for the Asst Director job at the university. I've already applied for 2 other jobs there and they've sent me rejection letters for both. But, oh well. I'm not gonna worry. I also applied for an academic advisor position at another university that is close to E. St. Louis. I'm not gonna leave town, but I have to be applying for work according to my unemployment rules.

My LINK card will be cut off soon. I tried not to use it, but I think I spent about $300 that I will have to pay back. I turned in my updated income to them on Thursday. That's a bill I do not want to see. I tried to reason with God about the LINK card. I prayed and told God that I did what I was told--I called to report my income change. I called three times, but they still gave me money on the card. I needed that money. But, I know I wasn't supposed to use it. So, I was asking God if he could work a miracle and allow them to forgive me for spending that money and not send me a bill to pay it back. I did include a letter with my updated income that explained that I call who I was supposed to call. Hopefully they will have mercy on me.

I've gotten a renewed vision of myself. God's grace is sufficient for me II Corinthians 12:9. I was so down on myself about mistakes that I've made in the past that I was holding on to my past. My spiritual mom told me that I was, but I didn't understand. Now I do. Now that I know, I can let my past go and truly walk in God's forgiveness--forgetting those things behind, I can press toward that mark. Phil 4.

I feel like I can breathe again, I can dream again....Thank GOD!!!

GOD IS AWESOME

So, today is my birthday and at first I wasn't too happy about it. Well, I was grateful that God woke me up and I was happy to see another year, but to look at myself and my life--I wasn't very happy. I told myself around this time last year, "I will not be in this situation, this time next year." And sure enough, look at where I am (was). I was in despair, despondent, depressed and oppressed mentally and emotionally. I allowed myself to do a 360 degree turn that ended me in the same mentality that I was in last year and because of that, I felt pathetic. However, GOD in HIS awesomeness made a way for me to pick myself up (with the help of others). I went to dinner with one of my mentors and she just laid it out plain to me, she said the same thing that my spiritual mom said to me--I have got to let go of my past--all the hurt, pain, shame, and unforgiveness. I've got to let it go. I can not move forward in my life because I'm stuck being the person who have done wrong and I feel I should be punished, so I punish myself emotionally by being negative about myself. I have not used the word of God to get past my past. My mentor told me to write a letter to myself telling myself that I forgive me. And then she told me to burn it symbolizing that it's over. Once it's burned, I can't put the ashed back together. That's something I'm gonna do. She also told me that I need to write a resume to Jesus. This resume would highlight my best qualities as it related to getting into the kingdom. I'm gonna do that.

She made a good analogy about how I've gone through school and now is getting ready to work on my Ph.D, but in the spirit, I'm still in kindergarten. I have not gotten out of kindergarten spiritually. Well, it's time for me to grow up and grow in the grace of God. He has forgiven me and He has given me His grace--it's sufficient for me, so I can love myself, forgive myself and be the woman of God that I'm supposed to be.

I THANK GOD for my mentors and my spiritual mom!!! Without them, I will still be stuck. So, on this day I commemorate my new life in Christ!! Today is my birthday and I've have been born again in Christ--Old things are past away and all things have become new. I am a new creature in Christ Jesus. Through Christ I can do all things. Everything that God made is GOOD and He made me, so He made a GOOD THING!!! THANK GOD.

Happy B-Day To Me

I have lots to write about, but today, I just want to thank God for allowing me to see another year of life!!!

Will update soon!