Am I Gonna Marry Petrice?

God shows us stuff all the time....

I was just sitting here and I remembered a dream I had about sitting here helping Malachi with is homework and Kate being pregnant and for some reason I was married Petrice.

Petrice (not his real name) is a guy I met a year ago. We met online. He's from Zion, IL, but he was living in Charlotte, but now he has moved to Des Moines. And we are good friends. But, I was sitting here and SOMETHING hit me. Like, really hit me. Like nothing natural, but in my spirit.

OMG, I have no idea what is going on.

GOD HELP ME!!!

When Did I Get Old Lady Legs

I looked at myself in the mirror on yesterday...

And

I HAVE OLD LADY THIGHS!!!!!

WHY??????

I'm only 35....and a few extra years. What is going on in this body. I HAVE GOT TO HIT THE GYM!!

It's Not Weird, It's Just NEW!!

I'm sitting in my house!! And it's weird. I mean, it's quiet and I'm by myself. I haven't lived by myself in a long time. I mean, yes, I lived by myself, but I've been in an apt and/or have had people living with me all my life. Now I have my own house and I'm by myself.

Why did I chose this house?

Well, the price was great, but it was deeper than that....This house is in the GREAT neighborhood. It has everything including washer and dryer...

BUT,

It needs remodeling. Yes, I need new carpet, new kitchen and bathroom tile and a new bathroom. The walls in the living room and family room are paneled too. So, the house is outdated and needs to be remodeled.

It's kind of like my life.

I will be ...... this year (I can't even say it) and my life needs remodeling.

So, as I'm remodeling my house, I'm going to remodel my life!

It's Moving Day. I'm ready!!

I close on my house in less than 3 hours. My apartment is packed up. I have movers coming....

I am READY!!

Don't Know How But He Did It!

$3863.75 is what I need to close on my house. Thank You, Jesus!! In the initial disclosure I was supposed to pay $5105. God made a way and my realtor was wheeling and dealing and God used him to get some things. So my closing is about $1241.25 less that what is was supposed to be.

AND

I get a check from the sellers for $2500 at closing. This is the help cover the cost of a new replacement roof!!

Thank God, He made a way!!!

My Head is Filled With Tears

I BELIEVE GOD. I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE!!

GOD can do anything. And I need God to do some things for me and I'm standing on the word of God that...

,,,,being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.-Philippians 1:6

AND

...I (Jesus) have come that they (I) may have life, and have it to the full.-John 10:10

I'm not too old for God to use me. I'm not too old for the promises of God to be fulfilled in my life!!

How Can I Celebrate 40?

I HAVE NEVER BEEN TREPIDATIOUS ABOUT GROWING OLDER. BUT THIS YEAR I WILL BE 40!!!

And I want it to happen (nope, don't want to die), but I want my life to slow down!!  

I had a good time turning 30 and a great time turning 35. What am I going to do with 40? God, help me!! I'm don't want to turn 40 alone!!!

Get Back Up Again

I did't watch the Rhonda Rousey fight, but I heard she got KNOCKED THE #$^&%%^ OUT. I admire anyone who is into any type of sport. It takes discipline and a certain mindset to be an athlete. I've never been an athlete, but I did play tennis my senior year in high school. I really played because I wanted to be cute in my outfit and my friends were playing. I never won any match, but I did put forth an effort.

I wish that growing up I was more athletic because I think it would have taught me about VICTORY. There is never a VICTORY without a fight. And so far with this new year I have been in a fight. God declared VICTORY and He knows that I will WIN, but the fight is rough. It's only the 8th day of the year and I have lost two battles.

But, I'm hanging in there!! I'm holding on to the word of God. I've got the VICTORY and I've gotten back up and it's not over until it's over!!

2017 Anthem #SHOTSTOTHEDEVIL

I'VE GOT THE VICTORY!!

2017 Goals

Improve Me:

1. Apply for Ph.d program
2. Lose 20 lbs
3. Pray everyday
4. Pay down student loan
5. Enjoy 12 months of celibacy

Where You Think You Going?

This man just blows my mind.

So Gov guy tells me that his cousin met a guy that he used to work with, but this guy is married. I told him that he needed to tell his cousin. I mean why let somebody go down a rabbit hole when you know there is danger ahead? She he said he was gonna call the guy he worked with to see what's up.

Well, he did....

The guy tells him that his wife left him. Not just saying I want a divorce, but really LEFT. Like, he went to work at 7am and came back home and she moved everything out except his clothes. She even cleaned out the refrigerator.

What? Who does that?

So the guy decides he wants to meet someone else and it happens to be Gov guy's cousin. And he told her up front what happened and she's okay with it.

As we were talking, he says to me, "You bet not ever do me like that...." I laugh. Then he says, "Where you think you going?" And he was serious. DAG!!! He kept asking me and I was cracking up laughing because he was SERIOUS. Then he tells me, "I'm gonna tie you up, you ain't going no where!"

DAG!!!

That turns me on. Not the whole tying me up thing, but that he feels this way about me.

God, help. I don't know what to think about this guy! I don't want to make a mistake. I mean I already made one and I don't want to make another.

As we were still talking the convo moved to new year resolutions. I told him that I was gonna tell him one that was gonna blow his mind, but I wanted to see him in person when I told him. Yes, I'm gonna tell him my 12 months no sex goal....

We'll see how that goes.....

We Better Get Busy

This guy knows how to say all the right things to me. God, help me! I need to know what's going on with him?!

I met Gov guy a couple months ago and we talked and talked and talked and got to know each other. When we finally met, I was attracted with one slight exception, but we had a good time ice skating. Since then we have spent Christmas together and I made the mistake of spending the night. It was a good night, but not a good night!

Anyway, we have been talking and talking and talking and he just knows how the say the right thing. I prayed about him and I need God to tell me something because he's saying all the right things. We got to talking about one of his friends who is in their 40s and is having a baby. Then I mentioned that Janet Jackson had a baby at 50. He asked me, "You'll have a baby in your 40s?" "Heck yeah!" was my answer.

"Well, we better get busy," was his response.


AAAAaaaggghhhhh

Why would you say something like that?

I mean, he has 3 children-2 adults and one 10 year old. He's 49. Why would he say something like that? Dag...that makes me want him?

God, You gotta help me with this?

One thing that bothers me though is the fact that he hasn't told his family that we are hanging. I mean, it's like a secret or something. We spent Christmas together and his family called and asked him what he was doing. He wouldn't tell them that he was hanging with a friend. As a matter of fact, we friended each other on FB and his sister was asking about me and he wouldn't tell her that we were hanging. What's up with that?

I mean I know you got children and you have to be careful about who you meet and when you introduce, but dag....why can't you just say you have a new friend. That's what I told my mom.....

Commit To Recovery

This year God is saying Pursue those things that I have promised because you will have VICTORY. I accept and believe that word of God, but I got a little hesitant because when you say VICTORY, you are saying WAR or BATTLE or some type of conflict. No one has VICTORY without a FIGHT. That's not how any of this works....So I was excited about VICTORY, but trepidatious because I am not a fighter. I like peace.

But, sometimes God is a God of war.

So in my hesitance I got in my feelings and allowed the enemy to speak to me. BUT, it's a NEW YEAR. I can't give up before I even start!! So I was listening to Christine Caine today and one thing she said was that you have to COMMIT to RECOVERY. She explained how she was sexually abused for 12 years and how God recovered her, but she had to commit to it...commit to the pain, commit to healing process which includes doing what you NEED to do EVERYDAY in order to fully RECOVERY.  So that's my goal this year!! I will COMMIT to my RECOVERY!!

My List

I was eating lunch with some friends and one of them mentioned something simple and I got a little emotional. She said that I should have a list for the man that I want. I know that there is always this discussion about women who have "list," but it makes sense. I create a daily list when I have to run errands and a grocery list so I won't forget something. Without a list I'm wasting my time because I ALWAYS forget something and have to go back out again.

I got emotional because being single is exhausting and I should be enjoying my singleness. I mean I here people talk all the time about how they can't just go where they want, when they want. They talk about marriage like it's bondage and I don't think it has to be that way. So as they were talking I got a little emotional because this is another year without a man. I guess being single is exhausting because I have to live out this life alone. Yes, I know that Jesus is what me, but to really share my life with someone is something I desire and I have spend __ years now without that true love.

My other friend said, "Don't throw away the list and stick to it."

So I decided to make a list. I am taking a hiatus on dating because I just don't feel like it and I've got 4 guys who are interested in me and I don't think ANY of them are for me....

I'll talk about them later.

1. Man of prayer
2. Man of the Word & loves the house of God
3. Hard worker
4. Can lift me (or at least help me up when I fall)
5. Wants to be debt free and has a plan (if he's not already debt free)
6. Doesn't want to just move me from my family because he doesn't have family here
7. Is not a neat freak, but is not nasty either
8. LOVES me unconditionally
9. Wants to see me successful
10.Wants children
11.Is not selfish (in bed)


 Simple....