I'm sad.....
Not, down sad, just sad....
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
A Right to a Speedy Trial
Mister went to court yesterday. The case was continued again to July.
WHY???
Because the prosecution is on maternity leave.
WHAT????
WOW is all I can say. I texted him back to say that this is absolutely ludicrous. He is one 24/7 home detention, living with someone for free, can't work, can't get his life back because someone is on maternity leave.
OMG!!! I was so upset. I can imagine how he feels. I mean being locked up with bonafide criminals for almost a month and then being couped up in an apartment for the last two months. WOW!!!
I would be a praying something. But, he refuses to believe God!!! I am a witness that God works miracles, but he is adamant that there is no God!! I just want to tell him so badly that he NEEDS God to intervene on his behalf!! But, he doesn't want to hear that. I mean, I understand it, but I don't.
Oh GOD!!!! What happened to the right to a speedy trail? Oh God!!!!
WHY???
Because the prosecution is on maternity leave.
WHAT????
WOW is all I can say. I texted him back to say that this is absolutely ludicrous. He is one 24/7 home detention, living with someone for free, can't work, can't get his life back because someone is on maternity leave.
OMG!!! I was so upset. I can imagine how he feels. I mean being locked up with bonafide criminals for almost a month and then being couped up in an apartment for the last two months. WOW!!!
I would be a praying something. But, he refuses to believe God!!! I am a witness that God works miracles, but he is adamant that there is no God!! I just want to tell him so badly that he NEEDS God to intervene on his behalf!! But, he doesn't want to hear that. I mean, I understand it, but I don't.
Oh GOD!!!! What happened to the right to a speedy trail? Oh God!!!!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Seducing Spirit
I NEED a Man!!
Okay, maybe I don't NEED a man, but I surely want one. OMG!! I NEED companionship. I NEED companionship!!! I've been chatting with Mister via text continuously and this is NOT a good thing. We've become closer and I can't not be in a relationship with him. I WILL NEVER WORK and I'm noticing that us communicating is seducing me. I look forward to the next time that we text. I can't wait to tell him stuff. It's becoming a BIG problem. I even mentioned to him about coming here. OMG!! What is wrong with me????? I can't be seduced into getting back with him. I have to cut it OFF NOW!!!!
So, I need a man. I need a replacement. I even desperately went on facebook looking for people to talk to. OMG!!! I must be losing it. I AM NOT DESPERATE!!! Oh, Boy. Jesus, come save me from myself, PLEASE!!!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Being Selected is Good Enough
SUPERSTAR.....
I remember the first time I watched Mary Katherine Gallagher. It was TOO FUNNY!!! I cracked up over and over again. I love that movie.
I've felt like Mary Katherine a time or two. Not because I wanna be a superstar, but because I want to make a difference. As a matter of fact my goal in life has always been to be helpful and purposeful. I wanted to do something great. I wanted to BE great. And everything that I do is because I of that. Of course in being GREAT, I have to be humble. The Bible says that only God can make your name great. So, it's not anything that I do myself to make myself great, it's because of God.
But, this nomination for 20 Under 40 didn't feel right. At first I was really apprehensive about it, but then I started feeling puffed up and I didn't like that feeling. I want to stay humble. The Bible says to humble yourself and if a person can't humble themselves, then situations and circumstances will come and they will be humiliated to the point that it will humble them. I don't ever want to get to that point. Humiliation is NOT fun!!!
So, I declined the nomination. I just didn't like the puffed up feeling. I didn't like what I was starting to think about myself. I didn't know how I would feel when others saw the nomination. It just didn't feel right to me. So, I let it go and respectfully declined. Of course I feel a little sad about it because Mister wanted me to accept...his angle was that I should accept not just for myself but for all the people who are proud of me and for all of the people who I've helped and feel that I deserve the accolade. I get that.....
One of the questions asked is who has influenced me....and I was going to write about my mother and how all my life I heard about how smart and pretty she was and how I always wanted to be like her--smart and pretty :-).
So, I was going to accept just so that she could see me talk about that, but it's okay.
I will always cherish the fact that I was chosen. That's good enough for me!!!!!
I remember the first time I watched Mary Katherine Gallagher. It was TOO FUNNY!!! I cracked up over and over again. I love that movie.
I've felt like Mary Katherine a time or two. Not because I wanna be a superstar, but because I want to make a difference. As a matter of fact my goal in life has always been to be helpful and purposeful. I wanted to do something great. I wanted to BE great. And everything that I do is because I of that. Of course in being GREAT, I have to be humble. The Bible says that only God can make your name great. So, it's not anything that I do myself to make myself great, it's because of God.
But, this nomination for 20 Under 40 didn't feel right. At first I was really apprehensive about it, but then I started feeling puffed up and I didn't like that feeling. I want to stay humble. The Bible says to humble yourself and if a person can't humble themselves, then situations and circumstances will come and they will be humiliated to the point that it will humble them. I don't ever want to get to that point. Humiliation is NOT fun!!!
So, I declined the nomination. I just didn't like the puffed up feeling. I didn't like what I was starting to think about myself. I didn't know how I would feel when others saw the nomination. It just didn't feel right to me. So, I let it go and respectfully declined. Of course I feel a little sad about it because Mister wanted me to accept...his angle was that I should accept not just for myself but for all the people who are proud of me and for all of the people who I've helped and feel that I deserve the accolade. I get that.....
One of the questions asked is who has influenced me....and I was going to write about my mother and how all my life I heard about how smart and pretty she was and how I always wanted to be like her--smart and pretty :-).
So, I was going to accept just so that she could see me talk about that, but it's okay.
I will always cherish the fact that I was chosen. That's good enough for me!!!!!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
My Mother Wants to Get Married
While eating lunch with the fam the other day, we started talking about vacations. My brother said he wants to go out of the country for vacation and to NYC. We all decided that a good family vacation would be Niagara Falls. We were getting excited and Mom says, "I don't wanna go to Niagara Falls with ya'll, I wanna go on my honeymoon." WHAT???
What honeymoon??
Then she says, "That's why I want to get you out..." She was talking to my brother.
OMG
My mother wants to get married again. I guess I never thought about my mother wanting that. She's been divorced since 2000 and I guess in 15 years, you do want to have somebody with you. WOW, I was just shocked to hear her say it.
Anyway, we all decided that an alternative to Niagara Falls (since no one wants to be there on my mother's honeymoon) would be to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania. This is a place that mom has wanted to go to for years. And we were joking that we needed go before Hershey goes bankrupt (think Hostess Twinkies:-)
I think that may be a nice mother's day gift for my mom. Hopefully, with the money that I'm making, I would be able to help her out with that. I would LOVE to pay for her a trip to for Mother's Day.
What honeymoon??
Then she says, "That's why I want to get you out..." She was talking to my brother.
OMG
My mother wants to get married again. I guess I never thought about my mother wanting that. She's been divorced since 2000 and I guess in 15 years, you do want to have somebody with you. WOW, I was just shocked to hear her say it.
Anyway, we all decided that an alternative to Niagara Falls (since no one wants to be there on my mother's honeymoon) would be to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania. This is a place that mom has wanted to go to for years. And we were joking that we needed go before Hershey goes bankrupt (think Hostess Twinkies:-)
I think that may be a nice mother's day gift for my mom. Hopefully, with the money that I'm making, I would be able to help her out with that. I would LOVE to pay for her a trip to for Mother's Day.
Party in the Endzone
My brother graduated yesterday. It was a great day!!
We had lunch at LotaWata Creek. The food was good, but the portions were HUGE. My brother ate the Heart Attack burger. OMG. It serves four people and it's deep fried. Then the fries were served in a plate all by themselves. It was crazy.
During lunch everyone gave my brother advise to live by. I hope he listened to it because it was good advice. We were going to go to laser tag afterwards but we didn't have time. Graduation was a blast.
The school did a silly thing. Instead of lining the students up in alphabetical order, they lined them up by height. WHAT?????
So my brother, who's last name is Crayton, was at the back of the line because he is 6'4". We had to strain to hear people's names. It was such a silly thing. After all the students walked across the stage, they were trying to do the closing before the recession out of the stadium and a group of students started running which caused all the students to run to the endzone and they were celebrating in the end zone. No, they weren't supposed to do that, but it was awesome. It was like they had made the touch down and they were celebrating. Of course at that point it was no stopping them so the staff just let the celebrations go on. But, it didn't get better.....
Someone opened the gate to the field and the audience rushed the field. OMG. So, now you have students and staff on the astro turf football field in all types of shoes. NOT GOOD.
I don't know what it is about football fields, but I remember when I was teaching they would always talk about protecting the field. You couldn't walk on it. So, here there were hundreds and hundreds of people on this field. The principal was on the PA system trying to tell them to leave, but they didn't care. Eventually they had to call the police to get the people off the field. It was nuts!!!
Overall, it was a GREAT DAY and I'm happy for my brother!!!
We had lunch at LotaWata Creek. The food was good, but the portions were HUGE. My brother ate the Heart Attack burger. OMG. It serves four people and it's deep fried. Then the fries were served in a plate all by themselves. It was crazy.
During lunch everyone gave my brother advise to live by. I hope he listened to it because it was good advice. We were going to go to laser tag afterwards but we didn't have time. Graduation was a blast.
The school did a silly thing. Instead of lining the students up in alphabetical order, they lined them up by height. WHAT?????
So my brother, who's last name is Crayton, was at the back of the line because he is 6'4". We had to strain to hear people's names. It was such a silly thing. After all the students walked across the stage, they were trying to do the closing before the recession out of the stadium and a group of students started running which caused all the students to run to the endzone and they were celebrating in the end zone. No, they weren't supposed to do that, but it was awesome. It was like they had made the touch down and they were celebrating. Of course at that point it was no stopping them so the staff just let the celebrations go on. But, it didn't get better.....
Someone opened the gate to the field and the audience rushed the field. OMG. So, now you have students and staff on the astro turf football field in all types of shoes. NOT GOOD.
I don't know what it is about football fields, but I remember when I was teaching they would always talk about protecting the field. You couldn't walk on it. So, here there were hundreds and hundreds of people on this field. The principal was on the PA system trying to tell them to leave, but they didn't care. Eventually they had to call the police to get the people off the field. It was nuts!!!
Overall, it was a GREAT DAY and I'm happy for my brother!!!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
$73,000
Go Gadget Go....I call myself Inspector Gadget because that's what I am. My title with the FDA is Inspector. And my one year contract is about $73,000. Yep, that includes my salary and travel because I will be traveling throughout Illinois doing tobacco compliance checks. I will be inspecting any place within a census tract that sells tobacco products-cigarettes, roll your own, chew, spit, snus. I will also be checking advertising and labeling to make sure that they are compliant with all of the laws.
WOW....I don't know what to say about that contract. I've never made that much money in my life at one time. This will surely be a blessing.
Now I have to give my notice to the health dept. Dag, I wish I could keep both jobs. I will still fulfill my commitment of volunteering with ACS and ADA and even some of the other health dept programs because my schedule will be my own. I will use what money I can to get out of debt. I should be able to get out of debt in about 2 years if I can diligently budget. Of course my brother will be living with me and I hope I won't HAVE to move and I will be helping him with tuition, but I believe I can do it. As a matter of fact I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, so I pray for the strength of God to work diligently to get out of debt.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Oh My GOD!!!
What am I going to do??
I started my new job today. OMGOD!!!!! I NEED help. I feel so anxious. It's is so not what I was expecting, but I wasn't sure what I was expecting.
LORD, what am I going to do??
I NEED YOU, NOW!!!!!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Tomorrow is the Big Day
I start my job with the FDA tomorrow. I'm not sure what it will all entail, but I know that there is quite a bit of training involved. I'm not sure what to wear....do I do business casual or business attire? I want to be more on the business casual side, but I think I may want to wear a jacket. The type of building I will be working in tends to be cold. They said there is a cafeteria in the building, but I'm gonna have to take my lunch...no extra money for "extra" stuff. I was supposed to go to lunch w my girl, Tonya, but nope. Gotta save all my pennies for graduation on Wednesday. I'm excited and anxious at the same time. So much is riding on this job. I NEED the money desperately and it will help me get out of debt and into a new apartment and I will also be able to save for a newer car.
Thank God, for his blessing. I pray that everything works out with picking up the rental car tomorrow. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
I NEED a Newer Car
My car is falling apart. I pray that it hangs on until I can get a newer one. I need rear brakes badly. I hope they don't malfunction on me. Oh, God!!!
I decided to look at our local Wheels and Deals website and I found two cars that I would like to save money for:
I've been looking for this car for under $10,000 and I found it, now I just need to save the money over the next couple of months. I just don't know if the car will be there in the next couple of months.
I was also looking at this one:
It's cheaper and I would be able to save money faster. But, again I will need time to save the money.
I've been looking for this car for under $10,000 and I found it, now I just need to save the money over the next couple of months. I just don't know if the car will be there in the next couple of months.
I was also looking at this one:
It's cheaper and I would be able to save money faster. But, again I will need time to save the money.
There Used To Be a Time...
There used to be a time when, on a Friday night, I'd leave work and go shopping til I dropped and I LOVED it! It was the thing to do.
There used to be a time when shopping I could buy two, three outfits and shoes and for under $100 and the clothes were well made and really cute. There used to be a time when I didn't have to count (literally count) pennies to go do laundry.
I was invited to a Diamond Denim Gala, a fundraising event where the attire was jeans with bling. It cost $20 and there would be food (hors d'oeuvres) and a cash bar (no I will not be drinking). I invited a date and I didn't tell him how much it cost because I just didn't want to go by myself. So, I'm paying for him to go.
I needed something to wear because I don't have jeans with bling, so I go to the mall, TJ Maxx, and Target. I COULD NOT find cute jeans for under $30. I could not to find jeans under $30 in my size that were cute. OMG, it took me forever. I finally a pair of jeans, a size smaller than what I would have liked, at Kohl's and they were on sale for 50% off and I got them for $18. They weren't a brand that I like, but I was desperate and I NEEDED something to wear. I also bought three different shirts, but I'm taking two back. The shirts cost $30 total.
Shopping has become so much of a hassle because I have NO MONEY to shop for new clothes and because I have gained too much weight to find cute stuff. OMG!!
I HAVE GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Oh, Brother
I love my family, as dysfunctional and independent as we are. I wish I could have grown up in one of those families that were close knit and depended on and needed each other, but I didn't. So, because of that, I've made it a point to be available and be supportive of my family. Everyone needs someone they can depend on. Everyone needs that shoulder to cry on....The Bible even says that two are better than one because when one is down the other one can pick him up and when it's cold, they both can stay warm together.
Recently, I've told God that I need my "one" that can be there for me. All throughout my life, I've craved for that "one" person who can be there for me no matter what. I wish it could have been my mother because Lord knows that I've NEEDED my mother to help me through rough times. In the past, I've had best friends but never anyone who I can truly be me with....the closest I've come to having that person was Mister, but because he doesn't love God, I'm sure he can't truly love me, as controversial as that seems, but it's true. He even told me recently that he doesn't understand how I can, love a fool like him. What he doesn't realize that it's the love of God. The Bible says that it doesn't matter what we do, but God still loves us. That's not always easy to understand. I mean, it took me 35 years to understand that one. So, I'm waiting on my "one" who will be there no matter what. I'm grateful for my church family, but I need my "one."
Anyway, my brother called me last night to ask, no tell, me that he would be moving up here in June to go to school and get a job. Oh boy!!
I really, really, really want him to come here, but there is a slight issue I have....
I DON'T HAVE MY OWN PLACE TO LIVE.
Yes, I have an apartment and it's comfortable, but my apartment is tied to my job. I'm the building manager and as the building manager, there are strict rules that prohibit me from allowing anyone to come to live with me.
*SIGH*
What do I do??
I mean, right now I can't afford a new place to live.
Yes, I have a new job that will give me enough money to pay rent, but I was banking on that money to get me out of debt over the next two years.
*SIGH*
Lord, what do I do??
I NEED to be available for my little brother, but there is that one little thing.
Also, he is a teenager--18. I'm sure he's different from my little sister, but he's still a teenager, so there will be the uncomfortable conversation about it being my house, I pay the bills, I make the rules, yada yada yada.....but I think my brother will be okay with it. Not that there are very many rules. I mean, just keep the living room clean and let me know when you will be coming home late and go to church when required. It's simple...oh yeah and keep the bathroom clean, especially since we will be sharing a bathroom. LOL.
So, in addition to starting my new job, I will be opening my doors to my baby brother. I'm actually kind of excited.
The third thing that I'm going to work out is how to pay his tuition. He's not going to be eligible for financial aid because my mother has to file the papers and I don't think she will, so that means that I will foot the bill. I don't mind it but I NEED to make sure that I can get out of debt too.....
THANK GOD for the new job because there is NO WAY that I would be able to do that on my current salary.
I'm not worried one bit....I know Jesus will work it out!!!!
Recently, I've told God that I need my "one" that can be there for me. All throughout my life, I've craved for that "one" person who can be there for me no matter what. I wish it could have been my mother because Lord knows that I've NEEDED my mother to help me through rough times. In the past, I've had best friends but never anyone who I can truly be me with....the closest I've come to having that person was Mister, but because he doesn't love God, I'm sure he can't truly love me, as controversial as that seems, but it's true. He even told me recently that he doesn't understand how I can, love a fool like him. What he doesn't realize that it's the love of God. The Bible says that it doesn't matter what we do, but God still loves us. That's not always easy to understand. I mean, it took me 35 years to understand that one. So, I'm waiting on my "one" who will be there no matter what. I'm grateful for my church family, but I need my "one."
Anyway, my brother called me last night to ask, no tell, me that he would be moving up here in June to go to school and get a job. Oh boy!!
I really, really, really want him to come here, but there is a slight issue I have....
I DON'T HAVE MY OWN PLACE TO LIVE.
Yes, I have an apartment and it's comfortable, but my apartment is tied to my job. I'm the building manager and as the building manager, there are strict rules that prohibit me from allowing anyone to come to live with me.
*SIGH*
What do I do??
I mean, right now I can't afford a new place to live.
Yes, I have a new job that will give me enough money to pay rent, but I was banking on that money to get me out of debt over the next two years.
*SIGH*
Lord, what do I do??
I NEED to be available for my little brother, but there is that one little thing.
Also, he is a teenager--18. I'm sure he's different from my little sister, but he's still a teenager, so there will be the uncomfortable conversation about it being my house, I pay the bills, I make the rules, yada yada yada.....but I think my brother will be okay with it. Not that there are very many rules. I mean, just keep the living room clean and let me know when you will be coming home late and go to church when required. It's simple...oh yeah and keep the bathroom clean, especially since we will be sharing a bathroom. LOL.
So, in addition to starting my new job, I will be opening my doors to my baby brother. I'm actually kind of excited.
The third thing that I'm going to work out is how to pay his tuition. He's not going to be eligible for financial aid because my mother has to file the papers and I don't think she will, so that means that I will foot the bill. I don't mind it but I NEED to make sure that I can get out of debt too.....
THANK GOD for the new job because there is NO WAY that I would be able to do that on my current salary.
I'm not worried one bit....I know Jesus will work it out!!!!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
20 Under 40
I'm a little unsettled. First the FBI shows up at my job (they went to my apartment first, I got a call from my boss inquiring why they were looking for me) and now THIS.
I get back to work from lunch and there is a letter in my mailbox from the local newspaper. I open it, unaware of what it is and I find a congratulations letter. WHAT??????
I have been nominated to be featured in annual "20 Under 40 Who Make a Difference in Central Illinois" special edition of the Business Journal.
WOW????!!!!!
Who nominated me?? I would like to know, but the letter goes on to say, "A community member was touched by your involvement in the community enough to nominate you to be recognized. Over the past two weeks, a Selection Committee reviewed all nominations submitted and you were selected!"
WHAT???!!!!!
Who nominated me?? I loved reading the "20 Under 40" issue, but I never thought I would be nominated.
I got nervous. I didn't know how to feel and right now the only person I talk to is Mister so I called him. Of course he said that I should accept the nomination. He then went on to say that it's not being prideful to accept. I told him that it wasn't my pride, it's just that I don't like being in the spotlight. I'm not an outgoing, witty, fun person. I always admired people who were the center of attention, and I even secretly wanted to be that type of person at one point in time, but that's not me. I like taking the background. I was so uncomfortable during my radio interview, especially afterwards because they wanted to know about me. WHO WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT ME? I'm a really boring person, which doesn' t bother me (I'm creative, but boring). So, I never though of myself as one that someone wants to "know".
So, what do I do???
I get back to work from lunch and there is a letter in my mailbox from the local newspaper. I open it, unaware of what it is and I find a congratulations letter. WHAT??????
I have been nominated to be featured in annual "20 Under 40 Who Make a Difference in Central Illinois" special edition of the Business Journal.
WOW????!!!!!
Who nominated me?? I would like to know, but the letter goes on to say, "A community member was touched by your involvement in the community enough to nominate you to be recognized. Over the past two weeks, a Selection Committee reviewed all nominations submitted and you were selected!"
WHAT???!!!!!
Who nominated me?? I loved reading the "20 Under 40" issue, but I never thought I would be nominated.
I got nervous. I didn't know how to feel and right now the only person I talk to is Mister so I called him. Of course he said that I should accept the nomination. He then went on to say that it's not being prideful to accept. I told him that it wasn't my pride, it's just that I don't like being in the spotlight. I'm not an outgoing, witty, fun person. I always admired people who were the center of attention, and I even secretly wanted to be that type of person at one point in time, but that's not me. I like taking the background. I was so uncomfortable during my radio interview, especially afterwards because they wanted to know about me. WHO WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT ME? I'm a really boring person, which doesn' t bother me (I'm creative, but boring). So, I never though of myself as one that someone wants to "know".
So, what do I do???
The Criminals I Know
I wonder how many people have relationships with criminals. LOL. This meeting with the FBI has got me thinking....
As I was walking them down to my office, I was wondering WHO was in trouble that I was involved with. Of course I was relieve to know it was something silly like credit fraud hacking, but boy I was concerned at first.
So, here are the list of people who could potentially bring the FBI or the police to my door:
My sister and her husband. Even though he is in jail now, they had a brush with the feds in 2011 for a drug operation that her husband was involved in. OMG, I was so scared for my sister. They even decided to become fugitives and left town to go to Cleveland. They eventually settled in Chicago where he was arrested on drug charges. He is currently doing an 8 year stint in Statesville.
Mister. He is currently battling his ex-gf. She had him arrested on charges of aggravated assault. She lied to the police and told them she was being beaten. Mister is now fighting these charges. I would gladly testify to his character if his lawyers came to me. He did NOT beat that woman.
Coach. He is currently serving our a two year probation for being charged with unlawful use of a weapon (or aggravated assault, I can't remember which charge was dropped). So he has to stay clean otherwise it would violate his probation and could cause all types of problems for him.
Melvin. Sabrina's bf was just arrested last week for criminal sexual abuse because he slept with a girl who was 14 and he was 16 at the time. OMG. That will be an uphill battle.
There are other people who I know have criminal past...but these are people who I have had a relationship with.
Is this normal???
As I was walking them down to my office, I was wondering WHO was in trouble that I was involved with. Of course I was relieve to know it was something silly like credit fraud hacking, but boy I was concerned at first.
So, here are the list of people who could potentially bring the FBI or the police to my door:
My sister and her husband. Even though he is in jail now, they had a brush with the feds in 2011 for a drug operation that her husband was involved in. OMG, I was so scared for my sister. They even decided to become fugitives and left town to go to Cleveland. They eventually settled in Chicago where he was arrested on drug charges. He is currently doing an 8 year stint in Statesville.
Mister. He is currently battling his ex-gf. She had him arrested on charges of aggravated assault. She lied to the police and told them she was being beaten. Mister is now fighting these charges. I would gladly testify to his character if his lawyers came to me. He did NOT beat that woman.
Coach. He is currently serving our a two year probation for being charged with unlawful use of a weapon (or aggravated assault, I can't remember which charge was dropped). So he has to stay clean otherwise it would violate his probation and could cause all types of problems for him.
Melvin. Sabrina's bf was just arrested last week for criminal sexual abuse because he slept with a girl who was 14 and he was 16 at the time. OMG. That will be an uphill battle.
There are other people who I know have criminal past...but these are people who I have had a relationship with.
Is this normal???
Do You Know Any of These People?
Kim Kardashian
Beyoncé
Jay-Z
?????
That was the question that the FBI just asked me?
Yes, the FBI just visited me at my job to ask me if I knew these people. WHAT??? They said that some hacker gained access to these people credit report and at the same time my name was on the list of credit reports that were accessed as the same time these celebrities were accessed and they needed to verify that I accessed it and not some hacker. WOW!!!!
Beyoncé
Jay-Z
?????
That was the question that the FBI just asked me?
Yes, the FBI just visited me at my job to ask me if I knew these people. WHAT??? They said that some hacker gained access to these people credit report and at the same time my name was on the list of credit reports that were accessed as the same time these celebrities were accessed and they needed to verify that I accessed it and not some hacker. WOW!!!!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Scared the Bejebus Out of Me
I can't be a sinner...
I need to be able to pray at anytime, so if I'm a sinner, God won't hear me. His words says if I regard iniquity in my heart he won't hear me, so I have to stay saved. I know I'm not perfect and I will always make mistakes, but I'm talking about willingly sinning (like I have been doing w Mister). I have to get rid of this weight....because it leads to sin and I have to lay aside this sin that so easily besets me....so easily harasses me and entangles me....I HAVE TO LET IT GO because I have to be effective when I'm helping people.
Sabrina called me around 11:30pm crying. She said she needed to go to the ER. I got up (after finishing my sins) got dressed and went to pick her up. I was thinking that maybe she was having braxtion hicks contractions and it would be no big deal. I get to her place and she tells me she's having chest pains and it's hard to breath, and she said her heart was beating really fast. WHAT??
At first I thought maybe it was anxiety. But, I did run all the red lights getting her to the ER.
When we got there, her pulse was over 200. WHAT?? Her blood pressure was okay, but her pulse was climbing. They did everything to help it go down--ice on the face, having her bear down like she had to take a bowel movement....
Then the nurse brought in the crash cart. OMG. I wanted to ask her what it was for, but I KNEW what it was for, but I wanted to ask why she was bringing it in, but I KNEW why she was bringing it in. Her heart rate was now over 235 and they needed to bring it down. She was experiencing supraventricular tachycardia--SVT. The needed her heart rate to come down so they told her that she would be given medicine that stops her heart. WHAT? STOPS HER HEART? She asked the question that I wanted to ask, "Am I gonna die?" The nurse told her that it would only stop for a few seconds so that it could get back into a normal rhythm. Sabrina became scared and started crying. I got up and was getting nervous. I started praying, but I was hindered because of my sin. I didn't want to turn to God because "my hands were dirty and my heart was dirty," OMG. I wanted to have an effective prayer...
The nurse told her it was gonna feel like someone kicked her in the chest, but it would only last for a few seconds. They gave her 6 (I don't know if it was cc's or what, but the doctor said 6) Heart rate was still over 220 and was not going down, the doctor increase it to 12. The machine blinked, she was crying and the nurse was soothing her so that she could stay calm. It went down. We stayed in the ER for about two hours for them to run the test. Then she was discharged to go to maternity ward because they needed to make sure that the baby was fine. We stayed in the maternity ward for another hours.
OMG....
I can't remember being so scared. I mean, when I was in the hospital, I had the fear of dying, but being on the outside looking in and the only thing you can do is pray....
OMG....
I NEED to know that my prayers are effective and the only way that I know is when I KNOW I have the Holy Spirit because He gives me the power to be effective.
OMG....
God, I NEED your HOLY SPIRIT, so that I can have power and that I can be effective!!!!
I need to be able to pray at anytime, so if I'm a sinner, God won't hear me. His words says if I regard iniquity in my heart he won't hear me, so I have to stay saved. I know I'm not perfect and I will always make mistakes, but I'm talking about willingly sinning (like I have been doing w Mister). I have to get rid of this weight....because it leads to sin and I have to lay aside this sin that so easily besets me....so easily harasses me and entangles me....I HAVE TO LET IT GO because I have to be effective when I'm helping people.
Sabrina called me around 11:30pm crying. She said she needed to go to the ER. I got up (after finishing my sins) got dressed and went to pick her up. I was thinking that maybe she was having braxtion hicks contractions and it would be no big deal. I get to her place and she tells me she's having chest pains and it's hard to breath, and she said her heart was beating really fast. WHAT??
At first I thought maybe it was anxiety. But, I did run all the red lights getting her to the ER.
When we got there, her pulse was over 200. WHAT?? Her blood pressure was okay, but her pulse was climbing. They did everything to help it go down--ice on the face, having her bear down like she had to take a bowel movement....
Then the nurse brought in the crash cart. OMG. I wanted to ask her what it was for, but I KNEW what it was for, but I wanted to ask why she was bringing it in, but I KNEW why she was bringing it in. Her heart rate was now over 235 and they needed to bring it down. She was experiencing supraventricular tachycardia--SVT. The needed her heart rate to come down so they told her that she would be given medicine that stops her heart. WHAT? STOPS HER HEART? She asked the question that I wanted to ask, "Am I gonna die?" The nurse told her that it would only stop for a few seconds so that it could get back into a normal rhythm. Sabrina became scared and started crying. I got up and was getting nervous. I started praying, but I was hindered because of my sin. I didn't want to turn to God because "my hands were dirty and my heart was dirty," OMG. I wanted to have an effective prayer...
The nurse told her it was gonna feel like someone kicked her in the chest, but it would only last for a few seconds. They gave her 6 (I don't know if it was cc's or what, but the doctor said 6) Heart rate was still over 220 and was not going down, the doctor increase it to 12. The machine blinked, she was crying and the nurse was soothing her so that she could stay calm. It went down. We stayed in the ER for about two hours for them to run the test. Then she was discharged to go to maternity ward because they needed to make sure that the baby was fine. We stayed in the maternity ward for another hours.
OMG....
I can't remember being so scared. I mean, when I was in the hospital, I had the fear of dying, but being on the outside looking in and the only thing you can do is pray....
OMG....
I NEED to know that my prayers are effective and the only way that I know is when I KNOW I have the Holy Spirit because He gives me the power to be effective.
OMG....
God, I NEED your HOLY SPIRIT, so that I can have power and that I can be effective!!!!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Leave the Crazy Women Alone....That Includes the Younger Ones
There should be a meter or a detector or something that warns you when you are going out with someone who will pose or cause significant harm or danger to you. I know, instinctively God has given us intuition, but sometimes we don't rely on that and we ignore the "red flags" and we tell ourselves that the person is "OK." When really we should be running away as fast as we could!!
I know I've done it before with Coach and even with Mister. I've ignored the signs, but Thank God, He had my back and the situation didn't take me out.....
I've talked about Mister's incident being involved with the "crazy woman" who called the police on him and said that she was being beaten. Now, "Sabrina" (not her real name), a girl who I've been trying to mentor for the past few years has called me to tell me her baby daddy, "Melvin" was arrested at work for CRIMINAL SEXUAL ABUSE.
Yes, he was 16 and the girl he had sex with was 14 and two years later, he was arrested at his job because the age of consent in Illinois is 17. It was said that this 14 year old girl was going to counseling and his name came up. How or why did his name come up? I don't know. Did he force her to have sex? I don't know, but now he is behind bars.
Because I don't know what happened I can't say that I'm for or against this young man, but it does bother me that he is in this situation. I guess it's because I know Mister is innocent, that's why this bothers me so, but also the fact that this young man has been in a situation with a girl who said that she would cry rape if he broke up with him. I don't know if this is the same girl that is bringing these charges, but she said it and it's NOT RIGHT!!
There should be a book, a movie, a miniseries, something that shows these women who plot and plan to do devious things to men...
When I told Mister there should be a book he said, "The book wouldn't sell. Crazy in the head = crazy in the bed..." WOW.
I know I've done it before with Coach and even with Mister. I've ignored the signs, but Thank God, He had my back and the situation didn't take me out.....
I've talked about Mister's incident being involved with the "crazy woman" who called the police on him and said that she was being beaten. Now, "Sabrina" (not her real name), a girl who I've been trying to mentor for the past few years has called me to tell me her baby daddy, "Melvin" was arrested at work for CRIMINAL SEXUAL ABUSE.
Yes, he was 16 and the girl he had sex with was 14 and two years later, he was arrested at his job because the age of consent in Illinois is 17. It was said that this 14 year old girl was going to counseling and his name came up. How or why did his name come up? I don't know. Did he force her to have sex? I don't know, but now he is behind bars.
Because I don't know what happened I can't say that I'm for or against this young man, but it does bother me that he is in this situation. I guess it's because I know Mister is innocent, that's why this bothers me so, but also the fact that this young man has been in a situation with a girl who said that she would cry rape if he broke up with him. I don't know if this is the same girl that is bringing these charges, but she said it and it's NOT RIGHT!!
There should be a book, a movie, a miniseries, something that shows these women who plot and plan to do devious things to men...
When I told Mister there should be a book he said, "The book wouldn't sell. Crazy in the head = crazy in the bed..." WOW.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Those Savages
SOMEONE CRACKED MY WINDSHIELD. GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!
I don't know when this happened. I got up this morning to go to work and there were two cracks in my windshield. Apparently, something was thrown or something hit my windshield very hard and it is cracked and spreading. UGH!!!!
These people SUCK!!!! OMG!!
I don't know what to do. I was going to call the police this morning, but I needed to get to work and I didn't want to be late. UGH!!!!
Stupid car, stupid people.....
Now I have to shell out hundreds of dollars to get that fixed. OMG!!
Update: I didn't know how bad it was. It looks like someone either threw a heavy rock or something fell on the windshield.
One of the cracks has spread to almost a foot long down to the bottom of the windshield. I'm not sure if this happened at home or if it happened somewhere else and I'm just now finding out about it because it spread. UGH.
I don't know when this happened. I got up this morning to go to work and there were two cracks in my windshield. Apparently, something was thrown or something hit my windshield very hard and it is cracked and spreading. UGH!!!!
These people SUCK!!!! OMG!!
I don't know what to do. I was going to call the police this morning, but I needed to get to work and I didn't want to be late. UGH!!!!
Stupid car, stupid people.....
Now I have to shell out hundreds of dollars to get that fixed. OMG!!
Update: I didn't know how bad it was. It looks like someone either threw a heavy rock or something fell on the windshield.
One of the cracks has spread to almost a foot long down to the bottom of the windshield. I'm not sure if this happened at home or if it happened somewhere else and I'm just now finding out about it because it spread. UGH.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Bday, Happy Mother's Day
Today is mother's day...not it's not my bday. That was last Sunday, but today I want to say, "Happy Mother's Day" to my mother. I love her and I pray the best for her. A person can't pick and choose their parents and for whatever reason, God places us where He sees us best. So, I pray that I can be the daughter, sister, niece, that I'm supposed to be.
My bday was last Sunday--Cinco De Mayo. Nothing special besides the fact that God blessed me to see another year. I'm 30 is what I say to anyone who ask. LOL. My mother said I'm officially over the hill. What?? I thought that happens when you turn 51....we laughed about it. Usually I plan something special for my bday (if I don't, no one will), but because of all of the celebrations and weddings, I hadn't had time to think about my bday. Actually, I forgot about it. I was so happy to be celebrating my lil brother's graduation....
So, I didn't make any plans. Especially since I didn't really have a lot of money to do anything. But, my coworkers are taking me to lunch tomorrow. I'm not sure where I want to go. My boss only eats salad and I'm sure that anywhere we go, there is salad, but I'm concerned. I want to splurge and eat anything I want for my bday, but I feel bad when all they eat is salad. Hmmmm.....
Anyway, I thank God for seeing another year and I pray for many many more, in Jesus name. Amen!!
My bday was last Sunday--Cinco De Mayo. Nothing special besides the fact that God blessed me to see another year. I'm 30 is what I say to anyone who ask. LOL. My mother said I'm officially over the hill. What?? I thought that happens when you turn 51....we laughed about it. Usually I plan something special for my bday (if I don't, no one will), but because of all of the celebrations and weddings, I hadn't had time to think about my bday. Actually, I forgot about it. I was so happy to be celebrating my lil brother's graduation....
So, I didn't make any plans. Especially since I didn't really have a lot of money to do anything. But, my coworkers are taking me to lunch tomorrow. I'm not sure where I want to go. My boss only eats salad and I'm sure that anywhere we go, there is salad, but I'm concerned. I want to splurge and eat anything I want for my bday, but I feel bad when all they eat is salad. Hmmmm.....
Anyway, I thank God for seeing another year and I pray for many many more, in Jesus name. Amen!!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Survey Says.....
I just filled out an online survey from Panera Bread. At the end of the survey they asked my demographic information. I couldn't resist putting my upcoming salary instead of my current salary:
God is good!!
God is good!!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Money Answereth All Things
I had to make the call to my sister explaining to her that since I got this new job, I would not be able to attend her wedding on Saturday. I told her that I did get her a gift. She asked what I got her and I said a silver photo frame--which I will be purchasing to put in the mail on next week. As we were talking, she expressed her sadness of me not coming and I told her that I would definitely make plans to visit her this summer. I again reassured her that I would put her gift in the mail in which she stated that I could add "something" to that gift. Basically, what she was saying is that if I added some money along with the gift, she would be satisfied. LOL.
Yes, money answereth all things.....
Yes, money answereth all things.....
I'm Not Gonna Make It
This is the 6th call I've had to make cancelling event because I don't have any money or my lack of money.
March 23--My Cousin's 50th Bday celebration
March 30--My brother's wedding
April 24--Dentist appointment
May 7--lunch with Katie
May 9--Dentist apt
May 11--My sister's wedding
I just don't have the available money to do any of these things, especially the weddings and bday celebrations because I have to travel. My car is not available, so that means I have to purchase other transportation and I just didn't have enough to cover the trip. I was always taught that if you travel have enough money for emergency just in case, so a few extra hundred dollars in my pocket would have been good, but I don't have it. Especially if I'm driving over 5 hours to get somewhere. I mean, I was struggling trying to figure out how to drive all the way down to Arkansas and get back to town in one day because I didn't have enough money for a hotel. Overall I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for gas. *Sigh*
Hopefully, I will be able to have enough money to make all of this up to everyone!!
March 23--My Cousin's 50th Bday celebration
March 30--My brother's wedding
April 24--Dentist appointment
May 7--lunch with Katie
May 9--Dentist apt
May 11--My sister's wedding
I just don't have the available money to do any of these things, especially the weddings and bday celebrations because I have to travel. My car is not available, so that means I have to purchase other transportation and I just didn't have enough to cover the trip. I was always taught that if you travel have enough money for emergency just in case, so a few extra hundred dollars in my pocket would have been good, but I don't have it. Especially if I'm driving over 5 hours to get somewhere. I mean, I was struggling trying to figure out how to drive all the way down to Arkansas and get back to town in one day because I didn't have enough money for a hotel. Overall I had to cancel because I didn't have enough money for gas. *Sigh*
Hopefully, I will be able to have enough money to make all of this up to everyone!!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
God Knows Everything
Sometimes we want things that we should not have, sometimes we want things that we think we should have, sometimes we want things that we know we should not have, but we want it anyway....
Sometimes we even need things, but God knows EVERYTHING!
Even the things that we think we want or need, God knows if it will be good for us.
I just got information about this job that I applied for and interviewed for in 2011. The job was an Asst Director position at the University. It was paying about $38,000 a year if I remember correctly and I believe the Director had a hard time choosing between me and another lady. And my prayer was simply that the will of God be done because even though I wanted the job and I needed the job badly, I wasn't sure if it was for me. Well, today a friend of mine told me that the entire department had been eliminated. The Director who had been there for almost 10 years and the new girl who has been there since July 2011. WOW.
If that was me, I'd be applying for unemployment again at the end of the June.
Thank God that He knows everything. Now, I pray that the will of God be done with my new job, in Jesus name, Amen.
Sometimes we even need things, but God knows EVERYTHING!
Even the things that we think we want or need, God knows if it will be good for us.
I just got information about this job that I applied for and interviewed for in 2011. The job was an Asst Director position at the University. It was paying about $38,000 a year if I remember correctly and I believe the Director had a hard time choosing between me and another lady. And my prayer was simply that the will of God be done because even though I wanted the job and I needed the job badly, I wasn't sure if it was for me. Well, today a friend of mine told me that the entire department had been eliminated. The Director who had been there for almost 10 years and the new girl who has been there since July 2011. WOW.
If that was me, I'd be applying for unemployment again at the end of the June.
Thank God that He knows everything. Now, I pray that the will of God be done with my new job, in Jesus name, Amen.
You Betta Shop Around
My new job requires that I have a specific amount of coverage for my car insurance. I called my current insurance company to increase the coverage. I was denied. Basically, the agent stated that because I won't be using my vehicle on an ongoing basis for my work, it is not required to have that amount of coverage. So I told the agent that this is a requirement and I would not be able to work without the increased coverage. I told her that I would have to find a new insurance company.
I got off the phone and went to State Farm. My coverage was with them a few years ago. I told the agent the requirements and not only was I able to get the coverage, but it was $200 cheaper despite the fact that the coverage was over $250,000/$500,000. Because it was so cheap, I was able to get renters insurance and I think I'm going to get an additional life insurance policy with them to.
I had wanted to shop around for insurance, but I tried Country Financial and was unable to obtain a quote because they ran a credit check. Because of this, I never tried. Because of changing companies I am able to save $400 a month and gain other insurance!!
Now, I have a dilemma....
I have to have the coverage before I start to work on May 20. I don't get paid until May 17 which is when I told the agent that I would come in to sign the papers. However, I think I want to get the coverage sooner just in case....That means that I have to use the money that I have in the bank and right now, I only have enough money for my trip to my sister's wedding this weekend.
What to do, what to do??
I'm going to have to skip the wedding because now that I think about it, I don't have gas money for the travel. I have enough money to rent the car, but not enough for gas, so I will change my coverage this Friday.
*Sigh* I'm gonna have to send my sister a really nice gift for missing her wedding.
I got off the phone and went to State Farm. My coverage was with them a few years ago. I told the agent the requirements and not only was I able to get the coverage, but it was $200 cheaper despite the fact that the coverage was over $250,000/$500,000. Because it was so cheap, I was able to get renters insurance and I think I'm going to get an additional life insurance policy with them to.
I had wanted to shop around for insurance, but I tried Country Financial and was unable to obtain a quote because they ran a credit check. Because of this, I never tried. Because of changing companies I am able to save $400 a month and gain other insurance!!
Now, I have a dilemma....
I have to have the coverage before I start to work on May 20. I don't get paid until May 17 which is when I told the agent that I would come in to sign the papers. However, I think I want to get the coverage sooner just in case....That means that I have to use the money that I have in the bank and right now, I only have enough money for my trip to my sister's wedding this weekend.
What to do, what to do??
I'm going to have to skip the wedding because now that I think about it, I don't have gas money for the travel. I have enough money to rent the car, but not enough for gas, so I will change my coverage this Friday.
*Sigh* I'm gonna have to send my sister a really nice gift for missing her wedding.
The Official Call
John (not his real name) called me today to thank me for accepting the position. I was thrilled because I was told that he would call me on Friday or Monday and after checking and checking again, I hadn't gotten or missed his call on Friday or Monday. He let me know everything that I need to bring for my first day on May 20 and 21. He then get more information from he and sent a follow-up email. In the email it said that we would be interviewed by Homeland Security. I didn't know that. I knew that I would be commissioned by the FDA and that to be commissioned they would be contacting us, but I didn't know that involved Homeland Security. Oh well, whatever hoops I have to jump through, I will because I NEED this job.
I just got off the phone with my insurance company and they would not increase my coverage to the amount that is required, so I have to shop around for insurance coverage. GRRRRR. I don't even know how insurance works, but I hope I can get the coverage.
I just got off the phone with my insurance company and they would not increase my coverage to the amount that is required, so I have to shop around for insurance coverage. GRRRRR. I don't even know how insurance works, but I hope I can get the coverage.
Monday, May 6, 2013
The DONKEY Story
My brother won, "Most Likely to Succeed" at his senior dinner on Friday. He is one of 41 graduates at the alternative school. I was really happy for him!! During the dinner, Pastor Granger spoke to the graduates and family members. His message was, "Self-Control--Keys to Success." He opened with these statistics,
A recent national survey found,
27% of the population could be welfare recipients
60% of the population are "just getting by" in life
10% of the population are moderately successful
3% of the population are highly successful
The survey also examined attitudes,
27% made no effort at all to plan for their future
60% gave some thought to the future
10% had a good idea of where they were headed
3% had written down goals
He then went on to define success as not being what you have, but who you are. To be successful, he gave the graduates 5 Keys...
1. Master Your Mood--
2. Restrain Your Reactions
3. Manage Your Money
4. Maintain Your Health
5. Screen Your Group
He then went on to tell what I call "The Donkey Story."
There was an old man who had a donkey. He need to go into town so he asked a young boy to go with him. He told the young boy, "I will ride on the donkey and you will walk beside us as we go into town." As they were going along, people saw them and began to shake their head in disapproval, "Look at that man, riding on the donkey and making the young boy walk; he should be ashamed of himself," is what they said. The old man was hurt by these comments so he decided to let the boy ride the donkey while he walked beside them.
As they were walking others saw them and scowled, "Look at that young strong boy riding the donkey and making that old man walk, what a shame." The old man heard and was disturbed by what they were saying, so he decided that both he and the boy would ride the donkey into town.
People gasped, "Look at that poor donkey, they should be ashamed of themselves they are too heavy to be riding on that donkey like that." The old man heard and his feelings were hurt. So, he decided that to go into town, they both would walk besides the donkey.
Some other people saw and shook their head, " That's a shame, they have a perfectly good donkey and no one will ride on it."
That was a good story that illustrates that no matter what you do in life, someone will always have something to say, so DO YOU and don't worry about what others will do or say about you.
A recent national survey found,
27% of the population could be welfare recipients
60% of the population are "just getting by" in life
10% of the population are moderately successful
3% of the population are highly successful
The survey also examined attitudes,
27% made no effort at all to plan for their future
60% gave some thought to the future
10% had a good idea of where they were headed
3% had written down goals
He then went on to define success as not being what you have, but who you are. To be successful, he gave the graduates 5 Keys...
1. Master Your Mood--
2. Restrain Your Reactions
3. Manage Your Money
4. Maintain Your Health
5. Screen Your Group
He then went on to tell what I call "The Donkey Story."
There was an old man who had a donkey. He need to go into town so he asked a young boy to go with him. He told the young boy, "I will ride on the donkey and you will walk beside us as we go into town." As they were going along, people saw them and began to shake their head in disapproval, "Look at that man, riding on the donkey and making the young boy walk; he should be ashamed of himself," is what they said. The old man was hurt by these comments so he decided to let the boy ride the donkey while he walked beside them.
As they were walking others saw them and scowled, "Look at that young strong boy riding the donkey and making that old man walk, what a shame." The old man heard and was disturbed by what they were saying, so he decided that both he and the boy would ride the donkey into town.
People gasped, "Look at that poor donkey, they should be ashamed of themselves they are too heavy to be riding on that donkey like that." The old man heard and his feelings were hurt. So, he decided that to go into town, they both would walk besides the donkey.
Some other people saw and shook their head, " That's a shame, they have a perfectly good donkey and no one will ride on it."
That was a good story that illustrates that no matter what you do in life, someone will always have something to say, so DO YOU and don't worry about what others will do or say about you.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
...To be continued from yesterday's post.
I was really feeling bummed a few days ago. Really in a slump. That's the reason for this post. The weight of everything was quite heavy, but I didn't want to complain, but I needed to express what I was feeling, so all I could ask/say is, "WHY?" It seemed so unfair, but life is not fair and there are definitely people who are suffering worse than me, so I felt bad for even asking why?
The "WHY?" also came after a Sunday when our Apostle prayed for us...He asked everyone who was having money problems to come to the altar and he prayed for us, then he admonished us to give which I did. I gave about $200, not as I was paying for his prayers, but because I was following what the scripture says, "Give and it shall be given...." I was being obedient.
Then, on the day of the "WHY?" post, I read over my application I sent in to the state. In the application I had misspelled words. WHAT??? How did I turn that in with misspelled words. I've NEVER turned in an app with misspelled words in it. I even turned it in days before time because I read over it (or thought I read over it) and it was a good app. Where did the misspelled words come from? This cause the funk because I had the dreaded feeling of never being able to make ends meet--always being behind--always dodging bill collector's calls--always coming up with an excuse as to why my bills can't be paid--always having that sick feeling in my stomach when I need to pay for something and I'm embarrassed because my bank card is declined when the cashier runs it, or the sick feeling of being on the side of the road stranded because I don't have gas to get home, or the anxious prayers to God for a miracle so that I don't overdraft my bank account because I spent more money than I had trying to buy groceries....You know that feeling, not just the sickening in the pit of the stomach and the stress headache, but also, the embarrassment because at work, you are supposed to go to lunch to celebrate a staff members bday, and to pay for it, you have to scrounge for change all around the house because you don't want to have to make up a lie of why you can't go because it's too embarrassing to just say that you don't have $10 for lunch and a few extra dollars to help out with a gift....yeah all of those feelings. I had the weight of the thought that I would NEVER get away from those feelings and that my life was going to continue to be that stressful.
But, instead of complain, I thanked God because I could be worse. Not only that, the same day that our Apostle prayed for us, he told us to ask God for what we wanted.
It seems natural to pray for material things because money is exactly what I need, but that's not really what I WANT.
Yes, I need money and financially I am stressed, but what I really WANT...
TO SERVE GOD. I WANT TO SERVE GOD. I WANT TO BE A DISCIPLE, I WANT TO HELP OTHERS COME TO CHRIST.
Not only do I want this but I NEED this more than I NEED money or food. I've never been more happier then having the feeling of praying for someone or ministering to them and seeing the difference that it makes in their life.
So, that was my prayer....the Apostle said ask, the word of God said ask, and that's what I asked for and I left it at that.
I went to pick up a rental car to go see my brother and celebrate him for his senior luncheon. Of course going to pick up the rental car was another stress because they needed to run a credit check because I was using my debit card instead of a major credit card. I just prayed that God would grant me favor and He did. I get home to get dressed to leave town and the phone rings. I didn't recognize the number so I answered and it was Amy, one of the women who interviewed me.
She called to offer me the job. While she was explaining to me the information I was writing and doing a praise dance at the same time. I wanted to cry, I wanted to pray, I wanted to scream, but I was wet from the shower and I needed to get on the highway. So, I prayed and thanked God all the while driving home.
I couldn't contain my excitement....I said I wasn't going to tell anyone about this until my first day at work on May 20, but I almost immediately told my mother when I got to her house. Then I told my uncle and aunt when I got to their house. I couldn't hold it.....
The cat was out of the bag and I want to tell other people what God did for me because He is so AMAZING, but I want to wait until I get my first paycheck....it's like it's proof of what God has done!!!
I will be making about $5200 a month as an independent contractor. So that means I have to pay about 13% social security and Medicare and I have to send in my own taxes which I believe my rate will be about 15%. This will leave me with $3750 a month to pay my bills, give an offering and pay my debts!!!
OMG. God is SO GOOD!!!!!
I was really feeling bummed a few days ago. Really in a slump. That's the reason for this post. The weight of everything was quite heavy, but I didn't want to complain, but I needed to express what I was feeling, so all I could ask/say is, "WHY?" It seemed so unfair, but life is not fair and there are definitely people who are suffering worse than me, so I felt bad for even asking why?
The "WHY?" also came after a Sunday when our Apostle prayed for us...He asked everyone who was having money problems to come to the altar and he prayed for us, then he admonished us to give which I did. I gave about $200, not as I was paying for his prayers, but because I was following what the scripture says, "Give and it shall be given...." I was being obedient.
Then, on the day of the "WHY?" post, I read over my application I sent in to the state. In the application I had misspelled words. WHAT??? How did I turn that in with misspelled words. I've NEVER turned in an app with misspelled words in it. I even turned it in days before time because I read over it (or thought I read over it) and it was a good app. Where did the misspelled words come from? This cause the funk because I had the dreaded feeling of never being able to make ends meet--always being behind--always dodging bill collector's calls--always coming up with an excuse as to why my bills can't be paid--always having that sick feeling in my stomach when I need to pay for something and I'm embarrassed because my bank card is declined when the cashier runs it, or the sick feeling of being on the side of the road stranded because I don't have gas to get home, or the anxious prayers to God for a miracle so that I don't overdraft my bank account because I spent more money than I had trying to buy groceries....You know that feeling, not just the sickening in the pit of the stomach and the stress headache, but also, the embarrassment because at work, you are supposed to go to lunch to celebrate a staff members bday, and to pay for it, you have to scrounge for change all around the house because you don't want to have to make up a lie of why you can't go because it's too embarrassing to just say that you don't have $10 for lunch and a few extra dollars to help out with a gift....yeah all of those feelings. I had the weight of the thought that I would NEVER get away from those feelings and that my life was going to continue to be that stressful.
But, instead of complain, I thanked God because I could be worse. Not only that, the same day that our Apostle prayed for us, he told us to ask God for what we wanted.
It seems natural to pray for material things because money is exactly what I need, but that's not really what I WANT.
Yes, I need money and financially I am stressed, but what I really WANT...
TO SERVE GOD. I WANT TO SERVE GOD. I WANT TO BE A DISCIPLE, I WANT TO HELP OTHERS COME TO CHRIST.
Not only do I want this but I NEED this more than I NEED money or food. I've never been more happier then having the feeling of praying for someone or ministering to them and seeing the difference that it makes in their life.
So, that was my prayer....the Apostle said ask, the word of God said ask, and that's what I asked for and I left it at that.
I went to pick up a rental car to go see my brother and celebrate him for his senior luncheon. Of course going to pick up the rental car was another stress because they needed to run a credit check because I was using my debit card instead of a major credit card. I just prayed that God would grant me favor and He did. I get home to get dressed to leave town and the phone rings. I didn't recognize the number so I answered and it was Amy, one of the women who interviewed me.
She called to offer me the job. While she was explaining to me the information I was writing and doing a praise dance at the same time. I wanted to cry, I wanted to pray, I wanted to scream, but I was wet from the shower and I needed to get on the highway. So, I prayed and thanked God all the while driving home.
I couldn't contain my excitement....I said I wasn't going to tell anyone about this until my first day at work on May 20, but I almost immediately told my mother when I got to her house. Then I told my uncle and aunt when I got to their house. I couldn't hold it.....
The cat was out of the bag and I want to tell other people what God did for me because He is so AMAZING, but I want to wait until I get my first paycheck....it's like it's proof of what God has done!!!
I will be making about $5200 a month as an independent contractor. So that means I have to pay about 13% social security and Medicare and I have to send in my own taxes which I believe my rate will be about 15%. This will leave me with $3750 a month to pay my bills, give an offering and pay my debts!!!
OMG. God is SO GOOD!!!!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
So much to tell....
...but it's like 1am and I'm so tired. I just need to go to bed. I will say this,
I GOT THE JOB!!!!! GOT IS GOOD!!!!
I got the call while I was getting dressed to go out of town to celebrate my lil brother for his senior luncheon.....
To be continued.......
I GOT THE JOB!!!!! GOT IS GOOD!!!!
I got the call while I was getting dressed to go out of town to celebrate my lil brother for his senior luncheon.....
To be continued.......
Thursday, May 2, 2013
4 out of 7
Yep, 4 out of 7 showed up. I was so bothered when the woman told me that the people that I was trying to recruit won't show up. It irritated me. But out of the 7 I talked to 4 show up. I was happy and they seemed happy to be there. Thank God!!
Why, Why, Why?
I was about to have a moment. You know those screaming out of your mind moments where you just want to know, "WHY?" WHY IS ALL OF THIS HAPPENING? WHY CAN'T THIS BE DIFFERENT? WHY? WHY? WHY?
But instead of screaming at the top of my lungs (I don't have the energy to scream even if I wanted to), I took a walk. And it was nice outside. The wind was blowing cool air, the sun was shining, it wasn't too hot....just perfect.
How can I ask, "Why?" when I just need to be grateful for the blessings God have given me. There are so many people who are so much more worse off--I think about the people in Boston and some of these other places that have had disasters or tragedies. I have no right to ask God, "Why?" I'm not suffering. I have my health, I have my sanity, I have a roof over my head and food to eat. It COULD be worse. It HAS been worse, so I just need to be grateful.
THANK YOU, JESUS!!
But instead of screaming at the top of my lungs (I don't have the energy to scream even if I wanted to), I took a walk. And it was nice outside. The wind was blowing cool air, the sun was shining, it wasn't too hot....just perfect.
How can I ask, "Why?" when I just need to be grateful for the blessings God have given me. There are so many people who are so much more worse off--I think about the people in Boston and some of these other places that have had disasters or tragedies. I have no right to ask God, "Why?" I'm not suffering. I have my health, I have my sanity, I have a roof over my head and food to eat. It COULD be worse. It HAS been worse, so I just need to be grateful.
THANK YOU, JESUS!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Tale of Two Criminals
I met Coach in Sept/Oct 2002. He was the wrestling coach at one of the high schools. My brothers were on the team, so in going to their matches, I met this good looking guy....There was chemistry there. We looked at each other and "clicked". However, neither of us made a move. At that time I was leaving a relationship and I didn't know that he was married (he didn't wear a ring). But the connection was there.
We saw each other over the years--at the gas station, at the store, here and there....we'd always be cordial--I'd smile and greet him and the woman he was with (years later, he denied always having a woman with him).
In January 2010, I ran into him as usual, but this time it was different. This time, I wasn't supposed to stop and greet him, actually when I saw him, I should have gone the other way, but "the cat was out of the bag" and we spoke, numbers were exchanged and our world wind relationship started. He swept me off my feet. We were both on cloud nine.
The relationship was brief....he decided that he wanted to make it work with his ex (baby mama) and I took my broken heart and tried to move forward. In June 2010 (or July) I looked him up and noticed there was a charge against him for battery with bodily harm, unlawful restraint and a felony charge of unlawful use of a weapon. I was concerned. I mean, in the past he had several protective orders against him (from several different women, including his ex wife).
Wow, what was going on??
I later found out that (not sure the entire story) he had been in an altercation with his ex wife's new boyfriend (fiancée) and he had also restrained his gf (baby mama) at gun point and he threatened to kill himself (he was also abusing himself by cutting, I didn't know grown men did that. I'm not sure if the scars were old, but they were BAD). He was incarcerated, lost his job, lost his house and two cars and a motorcycle, and almost lost his mind. He ended up on the psych ward at the hospital and he has this major lawsuit against him. He was looking at jail time. He had to hire a lawyer because he was not indigent (he didn't lose his job until Jan 2011). His lawyer worked his butt off and got two of the charges dropped and he got two years probation for the other charge. He is now jobless and living with his mom, but he is free...no jail time.
Mister and I met in April 2002. There was an immediate attraction. However, he was a college student and I was an employee and I didn't know the rules of fraternization. So, our attraction put on ice. However, in February 2003, we went on our first date. Boy was it hot and steamy. But, the fact that he was a student still bothered me, so I went to get the legal info on dating a student. There was no policy against it, but it was frowned upon if I had been his teacher or boss. Since I was neither, my mind was settled and we began an "forbidden" romance (he didn't believe in Jesus, I LOVED Jesus...it was complicated). We continued to see each other in our tumultuous relationship until he left town in August 2007. We continued to communicate until summer 2009 when I couldn't take it anymore. There was NO point to our relationship or friendship for that matter because we were always living in the past of what could have been, should have been, blah, blah, blah.....I let go and we didn't talk again until 2011.
He contacted me on FB about and issue and this opened the door to a new friendship. My feelings for him had changed and I was no longer "interested" just wanting a friend. He was good to talk to....I was stable when his relationships were not. In Feb 2013 he was charged with battery with bodily harm. His gf called the police on him and said the he was beating her. She had the bruises to show for it, but he was INNOCENT. Those bruises weren't from him beating her, but from their TYPE of relationship.
She agreed to have a BDSM relationship with him. She also agreed to be his "sub". Basically that means that he is the Master and she is the slave. He is the Dominant and she is the Submissive. Going along with that is physical harm such as spanking, slapping, biting, etc. But, it was all consensual. He did not do anything without her consent. As a matter of fact, she held the power, not him because she could tell him what to do and what NOT to do, what she would allow and what she would NOT allow.
I know...not the conventional relationship, but there are people who live like this. Of course he and I never had this type of relationship, but he talked enough about it, and I researched enough about it to know the rules. Yes, there are people who go to far in these types of relationships, but Mister is not that type. At least from my knowledge of him. So, the bruises were evidence the he beat her. Did he treat her badly, probably. That was part of the relationship. Again, she consented. He was incarcerated and his bond was set at $40,000 because of his past history of arrest--he's never been convicted of anything except a DUI, but he has been arrested several times. He stayed in jail for 22 days before he was able to raise bail. He also, was considered indigent because he lost his job, his car, and he had no money to pay for a lawyer. So he has a public defender.....
What is the is the difference of the two cases?? Coach was guilty on all three accounts, but he got off with probation. Yes, he now has a felony on his record, but he didn't face jail time. Mister is innocent and is awaiting his day in court (it was continued to May 28).
I hope the outcome for him is not jail because he is faced with up to 10 years.
In January 2010, I ran into him as usual, but this time it was different. This time, I wasn't supposed to stop and greet him, actually when I saw him, I should have gone the other way, but "the cat was out of the bag" and we spoke, numbers were exchanged and our world wind relationship started. He swept me off my feet. We were both on cloud nine.
The relationship was brief....he decided that he wanted to make it work with his ex (baby mama) and I took my broken heart and tried to move forward. In June 2010 (or July) I looked him up and noticed there was a charge against him for battery with bodily harm, unlawful restraint and a felony charge of unlawful use of a weapon. I was concerned. I mean, in the past he had several protective orders against him (from several different women, including his ex wife).
Wow, what was going on??
I later found out that (not sure the entire story) he had been in an altercation with his ex wife's new boyfriend (fiancée) and he had also restrained his gf (baby mama) at gun point and he threatened to kill himself (he was also abusing himself by cutting, I didn't know grown men did that. I'm not sure if the scars were old, but they were BAD). He was incarcerated, lost his job, lost his house and two cars and a motorcycle, and almost lost his mind. He ended up on the psych ward at the hospital and he has this major lawsuit against him. He was looking at jail time. He had to hire a lawyer because he was not indigent (he didn't lose his job until Jan 2011). His lawyer worked his butt off and got two of the charges dropped and he got two years probation for the other charge. He is now jobless and living with his mom, but he is free...no jail time.
Mister and I met in April 2002. There was an immediate attraction. However, he was a college student and I was an employee and I didn't know the rules of fraternization. So, our attraction put on ice. However, in February 2003, we went on our first date. Boy was it hot and steamy. But, the fact that he was a student still bothered me, so I went to get the legal info on dating a student. There was no policy against it, but it was frowned upon if I had been his teacher or boss. Since I was neither, my mind was settled and we began an "forbidden" romance (he didn't believe in Jesus, I LOVED Jesus...it was complicated). We continued to see each other in our tumultuous relationship until he left town in August 2007. We continued to communicate until summer 2009 when I couldn't take it anymore. There was NO point to our relationship or friendship for that matter because we were always living in the past of what could have been, should have been, blah, blah, blah.....I let go and we didn't talk again until 2011.
He contacted me on FB about and issue and this opened the door to a new friendship. My feelings for him had changed and I was no longer "interested" just wanting a friend. He was good to talk to....I was stable when his relationships were not. In Feb 2013 he was charged with battery with bodily harm. His gf called the police on him and said the he was beating her. She had the bruises to show for it, but he was INNOCENT. Those bruises weren't from him beating her, but from their TYPE of relationship.
She agreed to have a BDSM relationship with him. She also agreed to be his "sub". Basically that means that he is the Master and she is the slave. He is the Dominant and she is the Submissive. Going along with that is physical harm such as spanking, slapping, biting, etc. But, it was all consensual. He did not do anything without her consent. As a matter of fact, she held the power, not him because she could tell him what to do and what NOT to do, what she would allow and what she would NOT allow.
I know...not the conventional relationship, but there are people who live like this. Of course he and I never had this type of relationship, but he talked enough about it, and I researched enough about it to know the rules. Yes, there are people who go to far in these types of relationships, but Mister is not that type. At least from my knowledge of him. So, the bruises were evidence the he beat her. Did he treat her badly, probably. That was part of the relationship. Again, she consented. He was incarcerated and his bond was set at $40,000 because of his past history of arrest--he's never been convicted of anything except a DUI, but he has been arrested several times. He stayed in jail for 22 days before he was able to raise bail. He also, was considered indigent because he lost his job, his car, and he had no money to pay for a lawyer. So he has a public defender.....
What is the is the difference of the two cases?? Coach was guilty on all three accounts, but he got off with probation. Yes, he now has a felony on his record, but he didn't face jail time. Mister is innocent and is awaiting his day in court (it was continued to May 28).
I hope the outcome for him is not jail because he is faced with up to 10 years.
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