Happy Belated Thanksgiving

I was tired this year so I didn't travel for Thanksgiving. I stayed home, cooked, cleaned and enjoyed solitude. Around 11am I got a text....

"Happy Thanksgiving."

It was from Mr. Ohio.

I texted back, "Happy Thanksgiving, friend."

I thought that was it, but later on I got another text.

"Miss you."

Oh boy.....here we go. This is frustrating because I had moved on. I mean, he displayed to me that he didn't want me so why hang around. I prayed and told God that I needed to move and and I needed an alternative and in walks the Golfer.

As the day went on all I could wonder was, "what in the world does he want?"

He then text, "I'll be home until Wednesday."

Huuuuhhhhhhhhh.............

I didn't really respond, but the seed was planted.

On Sunday I texted him, "Wyd?"

He responded that he was in the hospital and that he had a heart attack on Saturday night.

My heart was beating and I began praying for him. I actually was praying for him on Saturday when we had prayer at church and I had been feeling death.

How do you feel death?

I don't know, I just feel like death was somewhere. Then Saturday morning I got a call that my uncle was in the hospital because he was urinating blood. So I thought that the death that I was feeling was my uncle. Well, it turned out that my uncle was not actually urinating blood and he was fine.

So when I got the news from Mr. Ohio, I realized it was him that I was feeling.

He was in Chicago and had been shopping. He went to the gym that evening. After working out, he felt light headed and dizzy and fell. He got some gatorade and was able to make it to his car. But then he felt pain down his left side. He drove himself to the hospital. One of his arteries was 100% blocked. They put a stent in and told him he needed to take blood pressure and cholesterol meds. They put in another stent because another artery was partially blocked.

He would not allow me to come to Chicago, but I called him and we video chatted.

He wanted to see my boobs *hand slaps forehead*

When he got back to town I went to see him. He wanted to have sex. Well, he wanted to pleasure me, but I was so far gone from that. I mean, you just had a freaking heart attack and you are thinking about sex.

WHAT??

So I told him no and he wasn't pleased.  He grabbed me as I was walking out the door and hugged me and groped me. His hands and kisses felt really good. But, that wasn't my purpose. I wasn't trying to have sex with him.

I went to see him a few days later and he wanted me to spend the night.

OMG!!!

I refused. I removed his hands from between my legs and he was upset when I left. He was so upset that he didn't even want to walk me to the door.

WOW.

A few days before I had a conversation with him and asked him what he wanted. He said he didn't want to "label" anything. So I understood that to mean that he just wanted a casual relationship and whatever happens happens.

Well, that's not me. I'm not into being cavalier about relationships. Either it's heading towards marriage or its not. And if it's not, then I'm not gonna waste my time. I'm not wasting my pretty on someone who doesn't want me. He called me sensitive because of my stance.

So, here I am on his sofa rejecting his advances and he's getting upset and throwing a tantrum like a little boy because I don't want to open my legs for me.

Who does he think I am?  My P*$$y don't belong to you!!!!!

So I sent him a text asking if he wanted to hang out a few days later.

"If you didn't act brand new. No thanks. I'm good," was his response. Basically, he was still having a tantrum.

Oh wow.

So sent him a video message saying basically that I wasn't into casual sex because I"m too emotional and I didn't want my heart broken again. He responded by saying he was confused and that he was upset because he thought it was unfair of me to "change the game."

I told him that I never changed that game and that I was never into casual sex. I explained to him that when we met I immediately liked him which was unsual and that I didn't realize that all he wanted was casual sex until after the fact (after we had sex) and that by then I was smitten and when he stopped talking to me I was heart broken, but I moved. He understood and that closed that door.

So that has been part of my holiday season.

Life Is So Messy....Deal With It

So I've been bothered since I've gotten the comments from Mr Golfer. I'm just not good with confrontation. There are people who are natural fighters and then there is me.....I hunker down and cower. But, as I'm getting older I'm realizing that I have to fight. As a matter of fact because I am a Christian, I have signed up to fight.

There was a question in an interview that I had recently that asked me what I would do if I couldn't get along with someone that I was working with. I told them that the old me would have been passive aggressive and would not have had the courage to deal with it, but the new me would confront the situation.

So that's what I did. I confronted the situation with Mr Golfer. We have different views and that's ok. Does that mean we can't be friends? I mean immaturity will say, "no" but we are two mature adults that can deal with this kerfuffle. We can deal with it.

But, I've been in my feelings all day. I've not been able to eat and then I've been concerned about how this will go. I'm sure he's defensive and that's never a good way to have a conversation. But we will have a grown up conversation about it.

*UPDATE*

We talked and surely he was offended. I mean he sent the post to his sister and she agreed with him. He was particularly upset about the "rape" comment. And he asked me why I added that. I told him that I added it because he mentioned it.

We hashed it out and as we were talking he sent the post to two women friends. They agreed with me. From this he started seeing my point of view and things were slowly creeping back to normal. Since then we have gotten back to what I like about him...just chilling and having great convo. I'm glad that I have him as my friend.

Matt & Rachell 2017