Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I'm a Gardener
Well, not yet, but I'm on my way.
I'm doing a teaching garden with a local school as a part of my job. The school is excited, but the problem is we only have about 4 weeks until school is out and my job wants to host a grand opening for a plant day with a lot of media and hoopla. So that means we have to have stuff to plant and I mean, not just seeds...we need seedlings. Well, all of the seedlings that I've read about takes at least 4 weeks, so I started some at home....I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I know everything I read says that I need a halogen light, but I can't find mine, so I just used a regular lamp....I hope the seeds grow and are able to be planted BEFORE school lets out on May 24.....
I got these pellet trays from out DIGG coordinator. Walmart donated them and it holds 72 plants. I plant 24 each of parsley, cilantro, and basil...I've got other herbs too. Then I have tons of other veggies.... This is gonna be soooo FUN!!
I'm doing a teaching garden with a local school as a part of my job. The school is excited, but the problem is we only have about 4 weeks until school is out and my job wants to host a grand opening for a plant day with a lot of media and hoopla. So that means we have to have stuff to plant and I mean, not just seeds...we need seedlings. Well, all of the seedlings that I've read about takes at least 4 weeks, so I started some at home....I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I know everything I read says that I need a halogen light, but I can't find mine, so I just used a regular lamp....I hope the seeds grow and are able to be planted BEFORE school lets out on May 24.....
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Breaking the Cycle
Abuse can breed dysfunction which leads to a cycle of degradation--low self-esteem that captivates a person in their mind...
This is what has caused me to not move forward, but to end up right back where I started....
But, I DEGREE AND DECLARE THAT the cycle ends NOW, IN JESUS NAME. I'm not in bondage to that again!!!
I AM FREE!! In Jesus Name...
Thursday, April 19, 2012
One Month In
It's been a month of fulltime work and I will be receiving my second full paycheck on tomorrow!!! THANK GOD!!! I have to get caught up on my bills......including my student loan and I have to pay my car note. I didn't know how I was gonna pay all that stuff and continue to give to my church, but as ALWAYS God has made a way....
I'm not going to go into details, but I was just praying to God about my finances and how it seemed unfair and sure enough the NP I volunteer with sent me a check for $500. I was able to pay my tithe, first fruit and $300 of a bill that I have. I also had about $100 left over to use for food and stuff for my new plants for my new office.
Yes, I'm going to try my hand at a green thumb again. I used to have all types of greenery in my old apartment, but because I never kept a temperature for my plants to thrive they all died. So I went faux. But now I bought 4 plants for my office along with new clay pots and supplies--epsom salt, watering can, leaf polish...Okay, I had never heard of leaf polish until one of my co-workers came in to see my plants. She told me that plants feed through the skin of the leaves, so they have to be kept clean. The leaf polish cleans the leaves and provides nutrients. I don't know if good old water would have worked, but I bought it anyway. It did shine up the leaves. I also learned about epsom salt and how it provides nutrients for plants. I hope to be blooming soon!!
I'm gonna buy a few more plants so that my office an be nice and festive.....
I'm not going to go into details, but I was just praying to God about my finances and how it seemed unfair and sure enough the NP I volunteer with sent me a check for $500. I was able to pay my tithe, first fruit and $300 of a bill that I have. I also had about $100 left over to use for food and stuff for my new plants for my new office.
Yes, I'm going to try my hand at a green thumb again. I used to have all types of greenery in my old apartment, but because I never kept a temperature for my plants to thrive they all died. So I went faux. But now I bought 4 plants for my office along with new clay pots and supplies--epsom salt, watering can, leaf polish...Okay, I had never heard of leaf polish until one of my co-workers came in to see my plants. She told me that plants feed through the skin of the leaves, so they have to be kept clean. The leaf polish cleans the leaves and provides nutrients. I don't know if good old water would have worked, but I bought it anyway. It did shine up the leaves. I also learned about epsom salt and how it provides nutrients for plants. I hope to be blooming soon!!
I'm gonna buy a few more plants so that my office an be nice and festive.....
Saturday, April 14, 2012
American Health Association and Other Blunders
I keep making mistakes and the worst part is that I do everything I can to ensure that what I'm doing is excellent. For example, the $8000 mistake. I am positive that I repeated the information and was told that I heard the information correctly.
There is another mistake I made and I was sure I corrected....
The funding for my job comes from the American Heart Association. I send out an email to a community coalition that advertises events. I included information that we are funded by the American HEALTH Association. However, right before I sent the information I noticed my error and replaced the word HEALTH with HEART. I was sure I corrected it. I was confident that the information was correct. So, how in the world did the email go out with American HEALTH Association?? How did that happen???? Apparently, my correction wasn't saved. So hundreds of people will see the word HEALTH instead of HEART. I didn't bother telling my boss. I'll make sure she knows on Monday, but at that point, I didn't feel like dealing with it.
What's going on??
There is supposed to be an article in the paper about me and the programs and services today. I'm wondering what I've said that is going to be incorrectly quoted. I searched for the online article, but I haven't found it yet. It's supposed to come out today.
I was just thinking and praying to God about my job, my life and that only thing I can think of is that God wants to show Himself strong. That's what the Bible says in 2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
That's the only thing that I can think of. I've done all I can and I want people to know it's not me so in order for that to happen, people have to see my faults so that when things do fall into place, when things do line up and turn our well, all the glory can go to GOD and GOD alone. I am so insufficient in myself. As you can see even when I do all I can do make sure things are right it still turns out wrong. So, God has to show Himself strong and I believe He will. What is the purpose of this if He doesn't? Is it to embarrass me? The Bible says to humble yourself...I try to make it a point that when pride rises up in my spirit to recognize it, confess it and get it out of my heart. My righteouseness is as a filthy rag, so there is no need for me to be prideful.
I was telling a guy that I know in December about my future plans to go into business for myself. In February the CEO of the NP I volunteer with told me that she can see me having my own business. She then reminded me of this on yesterday in a meeting. I totally agree with her and I believe that this comes from GOD because this is not what I've gone to school for, so it has to be God. However, in order for me to go into business I have to have the knowledge and the training. So, I feel that this is training me. If I'm going to run a business that nets over six figures, I have to got to go through this stuff. It will only build me up. I HAVE TO RAISE $8000 to provide a community program to help people. I HAVE TO WRITE a million dollar grant and have it funded because this is going to build my business. This is what is in store for me. This is my future and I thank God that he is positioning me. I could not have done this myself!! I've tried.
So God, I thank you for showing Yourself strong because I have no strength to do this.....
There is another mistake I made and I was sure I corrected....
The funding for my job comes from the American Heart Association. I send out an email to a community coalition that advertises events. I included information that we are funded by the American HEALTH Association. However, right before I sent the information I noticed my error and replaced the word HEALTH with HEART. I was sure I corrected it. I was confident that the information was correct. So, how in the world did the email go out with American HEALTH Association?? How did that happen???? Apparently, my correction wasn't saved. So hundreds of people will see the word HEALTH instead of HEART. I didn't bother telling my boss. I'll make sure she knows on Monday, but at that point, I didn't feel like dealing with it.
What's going on??
There is supposed to be an article in the paper about me and the programs and services today. I'm wondering what I've said that is going to be incorrectly quoted. I searched for the online article, but I haven't found it yet. It's supposed to come out today.
I was just thinking and praying to God about my job, my life and that only thing I can think of is that God wants to show Himself strong. That's what the Bible says in 2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
That's the only thing that I can think of. I've done all I can and I want people to know it's not me so in order for that to happen, people have to see my faults so that when things do fall into place, when things do line up and turn our well, all the glory can go to GOD and GOD alone. I am so insufficient in myself. As you can see even when I do all I can do make sure things are right it still turns out wrong. So, God has to show Himself strong and I believe He will. What is the purpose of this if He doesn't? Is it to embarrass me? The Bible says to humble yourself...I try to make it a point that when pride rises up in my spirit to recognize it, confess it and get it out of my heart. My righteouseness is as a filthy rag, so there is no need for me to be prideful.
I was telling a guy that I know in December about my future plans to go into business for myself. In February the CEO of the NP I volunteer with told me that she can see me having my own business. She then reminded me of this on yesterday in a meeting. I totally agree with her and I believe that this comes from GOD because this is not what I've gone to school for, so it has to be God. However, in order for me to go into business I have to have the knowledge and the training. So, I feel that this is training me. If I'm going to run a business that nets over six figures, I have to got to go through this stuff. It will only build me up. I HAVE TO RAISE $8000 to provide a community program to help people. I HAVE TO WRITE a million dollar grant and have it funded because this is going to build my business. This is what is in store for me. This is my future and I thank God that he is positioning me. I could not have done this myself!! I've tried.
So God, I thank you for showing Yourself strong because I have no strength to do this.....
Thursday, April 12, 2012
$8000 NOT "A" Thousand Dollars
D'OH!!
Communication is very IMPORTANT! Without it, there will be chaos everywhere. A failure in communication is just a bad. For example,
I'm working on a project at work that involves bringing Chef Marvin Woods to town to hold a healthy cooking demonstration. We would also like for the chef to visit our teaching garden school to provide a fun filled program for students. I called his people and left a message. They called me back a week later. When I answered the I didn't really understand what the man was saying so I asked him if he could refresh my memory of why I called. I finally heard Chef Marvin Wood's name and made the connection that this was the his people calling me back. So, I explained what our goal was and he stated that this was in line with the Chef's goals. He then proceeded to tell me how much it cost to have him here for a day....
Rewind.....
When I pitched this to my boss I mentioned to her that it should not cost more than $10,000. This man is somewhat a celebrity. He's authored several cook books, has been on tv with his own cooking show, is often featured in O Magazine, kicked off Michelle Obama's culinary program with her Let's Move campaign....this guy is not some unknown. So I was thinking that $10,000 was a fair price.
So, I'm on the phone with this guy and he says it cost, "a thousand dollars per day plus travel expenses...." Then he proceeded to tell me what that entailed.
I was shocked. Only "a thousand dollars" and actually I mentioned to him that this was a lot cheaper than we expected. Also, I as we were winding down the conversation I repeated to him that information so that I could ensure that I HEARD everything correctly. He agreed that I HEARD everything correctly then proceeded to tell me that he would send me an email recapping the information. I thanked him and said goodbye.
That was yesterday....
Today, I sit down to read my email and it says, "$8000 per day...." WHAT!!!????? WHAT???????!!!!!
Where did this come from?????? I had a Homer Simpson moment, D'OH!!
He said $8000 not A THOUSAND!!!! OMG!!!! Of course this was AFTER I told EVERYONE that it ONLY cost "A THOUSAND DOLLARS plus travel expenses. WHAT TO DO?? WHAT TO DO???
So, I went in to my boss and explained. Of course she understood, but man oh man!! Boy oh boy!! I'm gonna have to go back and tell them that sad news. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? I was so excited about "A THOUSAND DOLLARS" that now that it's $8000, I'm not sure. I don't want to doubt, but my mind and soul was set on "A THOUSAND DOLLARS. A THOUSAND DOLLARS was doable. Actually I was thinking that the $10,000 was doable, but now I have a different perspective. It's looks different now!! I've written a grant and I'm praying to GOD that it comes through because we wrote in the grant $10,000 to bring him here. But, if we don't get the grant we will need to find sponsors. OMG!!
GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO????!!!!!!
Communication is very IMPORTANT! Without it, there will be chaos everywhere. A failure in communication is just a bad. For example,
I'm working on a project at work that involves bringing Chef Marvin Woods to town to hold a healthy cooking demonstration. We would also like for the chef to visit our teaching garden school to provide a fun filled program for students. I called his people and left a message. They called me back a week later. When I answered the I didn't really understand what the man was saying so I asked him if he could refresh my memory of why I called. I finally heard Chef Marvin Wood's name and made the connection that this was the his people calling me back. So, I explained what our goal was and he stated that this was in line with the Chef's goals. He then proceeded to tell me how much it cost to have him here for a day....
Rewind.....
When I pitched this to my boss I mentioned to her that it should not cost more than $10,000. This man is somewhat a celebrity. He's authored several cook books, has been on tv with his own cooking show, is often featured in O Magazine, kicked off Michelle Obama's culinary program with her Let's Move campaign....this guy is not some unknown. So I was thinking that $10,000 was a fair price.
So, I'm on the phone with this guy and he says it cost, "a thousand dollars per day plus travel expenses...." Then he proceeded to tell me what that entailed.
I was shocked. Only "a thousand dollars" and actually I mentioned to him that this was a lot cheaper than we expected. Also, I as we were winding down the conversation I repeated to him that information so that I could ensure that I HEARD everything correctly. He agreed that I HEARD everything correctly then proceeded to tell me that he would send me an email recapping the information. I thanked him and said goodbye.
That was yesterday....
Today, I sit down to read my email and it says, "$8000 per day...." WHAT!!!????? WHAT???????!!!!!
Where did this come from?????? I had a Homer Simpson moment, D'OH!!
He said $8000 not A THOUSAND!!!! OMG!!!! Of course this was AFTER I told EVERYONE that it ONLY cost "A THOUSAND DOLLARS plus travel expenses. WHAT TO DO?? WHAT TO DO???
So, I went in to my boss and explained. Of course she understood, but man oh man!! Boy oh boy!! I'm gonna have to go back and tell them that sad news. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? I was so excited about "A THOUSAND DOLLARS" that now that it's $8000, I'm not sure. I don't want to doubt, but my mind and soul was set on "A THOUSAND DOLLARS. A THOUSAND DOLLARS was doable. Actually I was thinking that the $10,000 was doable, but now I have a different perspective. It's looks different now!! I've written a grant and I'm praying to GOD that it comes through because we wrote in the grant $10,000 to bring him here. But, if we don't get the grant we will need to find sponsors. OMG!!
GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO????!!!!!!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Character Development
Focus:
How I manage my time
How I manage my money
How I manage my assignment
This is how to build and develop character.
So, this is what my focus will be!
How I manage my time
How I manage my money
How I manage my assignment
This is how to build and develop character.
So, this is what my focus will be!
Pain in my A$$: Proctalgia Fugax
A couple of years ago I experienced the most excruciating pain in my life. It was associated with cramps in my lower abdominal area and it was like my colon was cramping up. It felt like I had to have a bowel movement, but it too huge to pass. It kept moving from my lower intestinal area to my anus. I didn't know what it was. I was stifled. Everytime I moved it created more pain, so I was frozen while trying to breathe through the pain that was radiating to my anus. I didn't know what it was or what to do and just as fast as it came it left, but it kept coming back. I've experienced these episodes a few times a year and I just had one. My body was trying to pass gas and the pain was unbearable. I searched and searched online to find information and this is what I found: Proctalgia Fugax. It is literally a pain in the A$$. It's amazing how our body works. I can't wait for this episode to pass.
Friday, April 6, 2012
30 DAYS TO 35
In 30 days I will be 35 years old. I'm HAPPY!! I don't know why? I guess because it's a milestone. I'm not sure how, but it feels like it. I don't have much, I'm not married, I trying to rebuild my life, but I guess the milestone is that I am reaching that age and I don't have any ailments or burdens (bills don't count).
GOD IS GOOD TO ME!!
5577 (May 5, 1977)
Double Grace (05,05) Completion and Wholeness (77)
35
Divine Perfection and Grace
8
New Beginning
GOD IS GOOD TO ME!!
5577 (May 5, 1977)
Double Grace (05,05) Completion and Wholeness (77)
35
Divine Perfection and Grace
8
New Beginning
Budgeting: Envelope System
I NEED to establish a budgeting system ASAP!! I've heard about the envelope system. I'm gonna try that. That's where every penny you earn has an envelope and you use that money in that envelope ONLY for that item. They have an app for it online, but I'm gonna try the paper envelopes first. I got my first full paycheck yesterday and it was $1200 gross and $815 net. When I took out money for all of my expenses, I only have about $150 left over for food. I HAVE GOT to pay my student loan and car loan. That's eating up about $600 of my money each month. My car loan will be paid soon, so that will leave me paying only $300 a month for my student loan. Even if I did pay rent and the electric bill I would not be able to afford to live because that $150 left over does NOT include rent and electric. I've only been working full time for less than a month and I already NEED a raise. THANK GOD for my free apartment and free electric bill!!
In other news.....
I hate when the Orkin man comes. It's usually during a time where my apt is really messy, like yesterday. There were clothes that needed to be washed pilled up on the floor, blankets on the sofa where I sleep, fastfood bags on the floor. I'm not nasty, just cluttery. Since I don't have a bed, I don't sleep in my bedroom and it kind of serves as a storage room. Even though I've been here for a year, I've never really unpacked all of my stuff because I have no where to put my stuff. I'm still kind of living out of boxes. I've hung my clothes (those that can fit in the closet) and the rest is kind of on the floor in piles. I have no room for all of them, nor for my shoes.
So, the Orkin guy comes by and I'm scrambling to pick clothes off the floor. He is knocking on the neighbors's doors and I tell him that I'm the only one living on this floor. Then he tells me that in one of the apartments there was so much stuff left. So I decided to go over there. Boy, she must have left in a hurry because she left a microwave, crock pot, photos of her children, a nice T-mobile cell phone, money (all change, but it was a lot of change), cabinets full of food, etc. I thought I was in a store. Since the stuff was abandoned I didn't think it was stealing, but I took the microwave and crockpot. She has all types of dishes, but I don't need those. She even left a vaccuum cleaner. I was gonna go through the cabinets to get some of the can foods, but I didn't want to be greedy. But I needed a microwave. I kind of wanna take the cell phone to sell it, but I don't know how. I'm not even sure if it's worth it. It didn't have a power cord, but it looked new. The box was still there. I guess I understand how a person can leave everything. If it wasn't for me, my sister would have been leaving all of her stuff. But, instead it's stored here. When I moved, I knew that I would not have been able to afford new stuff so I put my stuff in storage. I didn't want to lose ANYTHING. I was already losing my home. I gave away what I could--my bed, TV and other small appliances. But that was only because I didn't have room to store. I don't know where this girl moved too, but she left some valuable stuff--her child's pictures. Man, I would NEVER leave that intentionally.
In other news.....
I hate when the Orkin man comes. It's usually during a time where my apt is really messy, like yesterday. There were clothes that needed to be washed pilled up on the floor, blankets on the sofa where I sleep, fastfood bags on the floor. I'm not nasty, just cluttery. Since I don't have a bed, I don't sleep in my bedroom and it kind of serves as a storage room. Even though I've been here for a year, I've never really unpacked all of my stuff because I have no where to put my stuff. I'm still kind of living out of boxes. I've hung my clothes (those that can fit in the closet) and the rest is kind of on the floor in piles. I have no room for all of them, nor for my shoes.
So, the Orkin guy comes by and I'm scrambling to pick clothes off the floor. He is knocking on the neighbors's doors and I tell him that I'm the only one living on this floor. Then he tells me that in one of the apartments there was so much stuff left. So I decided to go over there. Boy, she must have left in a hurry because she left a microwave, crock pot, photos of her children, a nice T-mobile cell phone, money (all change, but it was a lot of change), cabinets full of food, etc. I thought I was in a store. Since the stuff was abandoned I didn't think it was stealing, but I took the microwave and crockpot. She has all types of dishes, but I don't need those. She even left a vaccuum cleaner. I was gonna go through the cabinets to get some of the can foods, but I didn't want to be greedy. But I needed a microwave. I kind of wanna take the cell phone to sell it, but I don't know how. I'm not even sure if it's worth it. It didn't have a power cord, but it looked new. The box was still there. I guess I understand how a person can leave everything. If it wasn't for me, my sister would have been leaving all of her stuff. But, instead it's stored here. When I moved, I knew that I would not have been able to afford new stuff so I put my stuff in storage. I didn't want to lose ANYTHING. I was already losing my home. I gave away what I could--my bed, TV and other small appliances. But that was only because I didn't have room to store. I don't know where this girl moved too, but she left some valuable stuff--her child's pictures. Man, I would NEVER leave that intentionally.
WOW, What a Convenience
I signed up for At&T home phone and internet last week. I also bought the At%t equipment to set up the internet. WOW, what a convenience both have been!! I just called Brita customer service to tell them that my faucet filter is malfunctioned. I called my brother to congratulate him on getting a job at Walmart. I've been needing a new faucet unit since January when the light started malfunctioning, but because of tracfone minutes, I never called them. I also wanted to sign up to receive a free brita water bottle filter, but because I didn't have the internet at home, I wasn't able to without having to write down all the information and carry it with me to work or some restaurant. This is SOOOO convenient! I've also been catching up on my fav shows on hulu.com--Private Practice, Desperate Housewives, Dancing with the Stars, since I don't own a TV. This is turning out to be GREAT!! I'm excited.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
I don't wanna be a circle anymore
In 1999 I moved here to central Illinois. I was fresh out of college, young, starting my career. About a year later a friend of mine moved here too and we became roommates. In 2002, something happened. I'm not sure what, but our friendship began to crumble and it ended up with us being evicted. YEP, I had no where to go. I told another friend of mine and she let me stay with her. This was a few months until I could get enough money to rent a place on my own. Thank God for that friend. Actually, this was the same friend that helped me out earlier in 2010 when my power was out and I didn't have heat or hot water to take a shower.
After I moved I was on my way once again....working, living life and then I became homeless again in 2010. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN??? How did I end up in the same situation?? This time I was MUCH MUCH older which lended to me being too ashamed to ask for help. Of course I couldn't take it anymore and got help from my other friend. But it's like I'm right back here again. And I don't know why???
The thing that I do know is that I HAVE GOT TO CHANGE. If I don't, I feel that I'm gonna be in the same place years from now and I don't want to be in this place EVER again!!
I guess I'm writing all this because I can see a pattern. Spending money carelessly, dating foolish men, being nonchalant about life and my future. I just had to borrow $20 from a friend to pay my car insurance because I haven't been keeping my check book up and I didn't want to owe the bank. Then I guy has been "poking" me on facebook that I really don't need to get involved in, but he's cute and I haven't had a date in FOREVER (Coach doesn't count).
Huh!!!!!!
I want to go straight, and up, not AROUND IN A CIRCLE!!
GOD HELP ME!!
After I moved I was on my way once again....working, living life and then I became homeless again in 2010. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN??? How did I end up in the same situation?? This time I was MUCH MUCH older which lended to me being too ashamed to ask for help. Of course I couldn't take it anymore and got help from my other friend. But it's like I'm right back here again. And I don't know why???
The thing that I do know is that I HAVE GOT TO CHANGE. If I don't, I feel that I'm gonna be in the same place years from now and I don't want to be in this place EVER again!!
I guess I'm writing all this because I can see a pattern. Spending money carelessly, dating foolish men, being nonchalant about life and my future. I just had to borrow $20 from a friend to pay my car insurance because I haven't been keeping my check book up and I didn't want to owe the bank. Then I guy has been "poking" me on facebook that I really don't need to get involved in, but he's cute and I haven't had a date in FOREVER (Coach doesn't count).
Huh!!!!!!
I want to go straight, and up, not AROUND IN A CIRCLE!!
GOD HELP ME!!
Change is Good: Not Always Easy
My life happens in circles.
Actually, I believe everyone's life happens that way if they just realize it. But, the thing about a circle is that there is never an end. You never reach a goal. If I drive around in circles, I never get to where I'm going. But, my life has been that way and now it seems like I'm right back where I started. But, only older.
Let me explain...
Actually, before I explain, let me give an example....
I started working with the NP in 2008 and we wrote a grant for an after school program. We worked diligently and I put my heart into it. We worked and worked and worked and the days before the grant was to be turned in, my car broke down. I was supposed to drive to another town, 30 minutes away, to turn it in. So I had to borrow my friends car. Then we stayed up til 3am finalizing the grant which was not complete. So, that morning I called off work to finalize the information. I got to the other city and was on time to turn it in, then I was stopped by a train. The 2pm deadline came and went and it was about 2:15pm when I got to the building. I turned it in anyway because I (WE) had worked so hard. After they stamped it "LATE" I drove home in DEFEAT. I was crushed. I was angry. I was sad. My boss was crushed also. I failed to tell her that we turned it in late, so she had to hear it from someone else. I was crushed even lower.
Fast forward to 2012.
We worked and worked on an after school grant and the week that we were to turn it in, the deadline was extended a day. I was happy, but then my car broke down. AAAAaaaagggghhh!!!!! I started having flashbacks. But, instead of working until 3am, we just worked until midnight. I got up the next morning finalized everything--under a great deal of pressure and at 3:45pm I was ready to submit before the 4pm deadline. I did my final review of the check list and noticed....there were 3 documents MISSING!! No one completed those documents! AAAAAaaaagggggghhhhhhh!! It was 2009 all over again!! WHAT WAS HAPPENING?? WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN!!
The same thing. It was like a full circle. I was back at the same place AGAIN!!
That's the way my life is looking right now. I don't know why, but here I am.
I didn't even realize that being homeless was another sign that I was still going around the circle.....
Actually, I believe everyone's life happens that way if they just realize it. But, the thing about a circle is that there is never an end. You never reach a goal. If I drive around in circles, I never get to where I'm going. But, my life has been that way and now it seems like I'm right back where I started. But, only older.
Let me explain...
Actually, before I explain, let me give an example....
I started working with the NP in 2008 and we wrote a grant for an after school program. We worked diligently and I put my heart into it. We worked and worked and worked and the days before the grant was to be turned in, my car broke down. I was supposed to drive to another town, 30 minutes away, to turn it in. So I had to borrow my friends car. Then we stayed up til 3am finalizing the grant which was not complete. So, that morning I called off work to finalize the information. I got to the other city and was on time to turn it in, then I was stopped by a train. The 2pm deadline came and went and it was about 2:15pm when I got to the building. I turned it in anyway because I (WE) had worked so hard. After they stamped it "LATE" I drove home in DEFEAT. I was crushed. I was angry. I was sad. My boss was crushed also. I failed to tell her that we turned it in late, so she had to hear it from someone else. I was crushed even lower.
Fast forward to 2012.
We worked and worked on an after school grant and the week that we were to turn it in, the deadline was extended a day. I was happy, but then my car broke down. AAAAaaaagggghhh!!!!! I started having flashbacks. But, instead of working until 3am, we just worked until midnight. I got up the next morning finalized everything--under a great deal of pressure and at 3:45pm I was ready to submit before the 4pm deadline. I did my final review of the check list and noticed....there were 3 documents MISSING!! No one completed those documents! AAAAAaaaagggggghhhhhhh!! It was 2009 all over again!! WHAT WAS HAPPENING?? WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN!!
The same thing. It was like a full circle. I was back at the same place AGAIN!!
That's the way my life is looking right now. I don't know why, but here I am.
I didn't even realize that being homeless was another sign that I was still going around the circle.....
I've got a home phone
Well, actually I have home phone service. I signed up last week. I was just debating whether to get a new cell phone plan or get a home phone as a back up for my cell phone since Tracfone seems to eat up a LOT of my money. I'm spending well over $80 a month burning through tracfone cards and there are some times when I don't wanna answer the phone because I have so few minutes. So to help alleviate this, I have a home phone that cost $25 a month and that includes long distance. So, hopefully I won't be using my Tracfone as much!! If I can only use it for about $30 a month, that would be ideal.
When I signed up for phone service, I also signed up for AT&T internet, but I because I didn't give them my social security number I have to pay $100 for the equipment--modem and router. They are running a special that I get a rebate on the equipment. The internet service is around $15 a month. I desperately need internet service at home. I would be able to So have will be paying that on Thursday when I get my first full check. I CAN"T WAIT!!
I also signed up for term life insurance to the tune of $16 per month and I'm putting an extra $100 a month into a 457 plan to rebuild my retirement savings. I had about $30,000 in retirement that I spent during the past years. UGH!!! If I want to retire when I get older I HAVE GOT SAVE MORE! So that's what I'm gonna do. Hopefully, later on in the year, I would be able to up it to $150 a month that is taken out, but now I need to focus on paying my OLD BILLS.
When I signed up for phone service, I also signed up for AT&T internet, but I because I didn't give them my social security number I have to pay $100 for the equipment--modem and router. They are running a special that I get a rebate on the equipment. The internet service is around $15 a month. I desperately need internet service at home. I would be able to So have will be paying that on Thursday when I get my first full check. I CAN"T WAIT!!
I also signed up for term life insurance to the tune of $16 per month and I'm putting an extra $100 a month into a 457 plan to rebuild my retirement savings. I had about $30,000 in retirement that I spent during the past years. UGH!!! If I want to retire when I get older I HAVE GOT SAVE MORE! So that's what I'm gonna do. Hopefully, later on in the year, I would be able to up it to $150 a month that is taken out, but now I need to focus on paying my OLD BILLS.
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