I'm still having strange dreams. The other night I had a dream that I was spooning with someone and they were behind me and I could feel their private parts on me. I could vaguely make out who it was. Strangely it seemed like it was my sister. What is going on?
I'm committed to making this change and, "go all the way with the Lord." I just have to be patient and consistent. I have to, "wait on my change to come," as the old saints used to say. But it does seem like I'm doing all this blindly. It's like, if I"m working out I can see the pounds decrease as I'm going, but I don't see any change. I just have to have faith that my life is changing and that God is working and fighting for me. I have to keep up my part!!
Thank you Jesus!!
Monday, April 20, 2020
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Strongholds Pt3
As I'm walking through this deliverance journey the enemy is really manifesting some things. Sometimes deliverance is not immediate and we have to "walk out of" some things. It's almost like exercise. If I need to lose 40lbs (and I do) I have to consistently eat right and exercise. I can't do it for a week and be done. It doesn't work that way. So last night I had a strange dream.
Background....
In 2001 I dated Marvin. When we met he told me he was single and I wasn't interested in him immediately. It took about 6 months. We dated for 6 months before his wife called me. WTH?!
Yep, he lied to me. His wife had left him and moved to Florida, but now she was back.
So I broke up with him.
Last night as I was going to sleep, I felt the panic coming. I started listening to Joyce Meyer and it was helping. Then early in the morning I started to dream about Marvin. He was working in some type of office. He was suit and this was SO different from the real Marvin I know. Marvin was always a blue collar. Not a suit, but here he was looking dapper and handsome in this suit. We somehow left his office and I guess we were at his place because I was in his bed with only my panties on. WHAT?? This was such a strange dream. There I was sitting in his bed, I guess watching tv or whatever and he was sitting next to me. Then I woke up.
Again, I know that this deliverance is going to be a journey but I cast down and renounce every past ungodly relationship and I cast into in to hell where it belongs. I don't want to hold on to anything ungodly.
So I pray that God show His hand of deliverance in my life, in Jesus name. Amen
Background....
In 2001 I dated Marvin. When we met he told me he was single and I wasn't interested in him immediately. It took about 6 months. We dated for 6 months before his wife called me. WTH?!
Yep, he lied to me. His wife had left him and moved to Florida, but now she was back.
So I broke up with him.
Last night as I was going to sleep, I felt the panic coming. I started listening to Joyce Meyer and it was helping. Then early in the morning I started to dream about Marvin. He was working in some type of office. He was suit and this was SO different from the real Marvin I know. Marvin was always a blue collar. Not a suit, but here he was looking dapper and handsome in this suit. We somehow left his office and I guess we were at his place because I was in his bed with only my panties on. WHAT?? This was such a strange dream. There I was sitting in his bed, I guess watching tv or whatever and he was sitting next to me. Then I woke up.
Again, I know that this deliverance is going to be a journey but I cast down and renounce every past ungodly relationship and I cast into in to hell where it belongs. I don't want to hold on to anything ungodly.
So I pray that God show His hand of deliverance in my life, in Jesus name. Amen
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Strongholds Pt 2
I went to bed on Monday night. Nothing was special about the day or evening, but I had decided to fast and pray because I don't want to be bound by strongholds. So I've been positive and hopeful. I went to bed and all night long a spirit of panic plagued me. I got up at 4am because this fear, panic, and anxiety just would leave me alone. I googled scriptures and found a youtube video from Prophet Ugo about Overcoming Strongholds. This man of God blessed me and it really resonated with me that the spirit of fear, the stronghold of fear is rooted in pride. Pride exalts everything else above the word of God. The Bible tells us to cast down every imagination that is exalted against the knowledge of God--2 Corinth 10:5. So when I allow fear into my heart and mind and I don't cast that down I'm putting that above God. He said a lot of other things that I need to go over again, but that one point really resonated with me. So I've been casting down the imaginations and the devil keeps coming at me, but I keep casting it down. So I thank God for His word that is delivering me.
Friday, April 10, 2020
Strongholds
So during this time of Quarantine, Staying @ Home, Staycation from work and life, I want to be productive. Initially I was just thinking that this was gonna be a short time to recoup. Then I looked at the spanish flu pandemic in 1918. That lasted 2 years. Then I read the scripture about the end times and the beginning of suffering. So in my heart I realized that this pandemic would take a toll on us and that life would not be the same on the other side. With that thinking I wanted to not waste this time. I love God and I want to use this time to hold up my relationship with Christ. I was reading Judges and how the people of Israel vacillated between good and evil. When a righteous judge was ruling, the people served the Lord, but then when an evil judge ruled, the people turned their backs on God. After Gideon died his son, Abimelek, decided he wanted to be king and he killed all 70 of his brothers and only one escaped, Jotham. Jotham pronounced a curse on Abimelek because he murdered his brothers and Abimelek ruled for 3 years. But during that time he was in war with the people and as he was fighting and killing the people about 1000 of them shut themselves up in fortified building in the city. This was described as a stronghold-a place where no one could come in and the only way to get out was the way you came in and it was locked and fortified. So what Abimelek did was cut down the branches of the trees in the area and used it to block the people in and then he set the branches on fire and everyone in the fortified building perished.
This was very interesting to me because in christiandom we talk about strongholds and how the enemy will use strongholds to keep people in bondage, but I never looked at it the other way--using a stronghold to hide for safety. When the enemy is coming after the people of course the first thing you do if you can't fight against that enemy is you run to safety in hopes that the enemy will not be able to find you. But the thing about life is that there is no safe place outside of the shelter of God. The Bible says that the name of the Lord, He is our strong tower and the righteous run to Him and we are safe (Prov 18:10). He is our stronghold. So when we are running anywhere else, we won't be safe. Its actually a trap to run somewhere else. The enemy wants to trap us in his stronghold. Some men trust in horses and some men trust in chariots, but WE (the righteous) only trust in the name of the Lord (Psalms 20:7). There is no safety in ANYTHING else!! Anything else is a stronghold of the enemy.
So as I was letting the Holy Spirit teach me I began to think about my strongholds--fear (God didn't give me that spirit), perversity (from being violated as a child), insecurity and anxiety (which are all manifestations of fear).....I began to see how the enemy uses those strongholds and how I use those strongholds to keep myself safe. I DON"T want to come out of my comfort zone. So if I"m afraid of something I just won't do it. In the name of safety I back away. I have fortified myself in my insecurity. I don't know a time when I wasn't afraid of something, when I wasn't insecure about something. And now we have a pandemic that is trying to cause my to be anxious and afraid. But God is not a liar. He said that He didn't give me these spirits and He came to set me free so I believe Him and now comes to work of tearing down the strongholds. Unlocking the door and coming out to face the enemy. If the people unlocked the door they could have saw Abimilek coming and they would have fought for their lives, but because they were locked up and hiding they didn't know that the enemy was blocking them in. We are not ignorant of Satan's devices (2 Corinth 2:11), so was have to see what the enemy is doing and we have to come against him with the sword of the spirit which is the truth of God. So the battle begins.....
This was very interesting to me because in christiandom we talk about strongholds and how the enemy will use strongholds to keep people in bondage, but I never looked at it the other way--using a stronghold to hide for safety. When the enemy is coming after the people of course the first thing you do if you can't fight against that enemy is you run to safety in hopes that the enemy will not be able to find you. But the thing about life is that there is no safe place outside of the shelter of God. The Bible says that the name of the Lord, He is our strong tower and the righteous run to Him and we are safe (Prov 18:10). He is our stronghold. So when we are running anywhere else, we won't be safe. Its actually a trap to run somewhere else. The enemy wants to trap us in his stronghold. Some men trust in horses and some men trust in chariots, but WE (the righteous) only trust in the name of the Lord (Psalms 20:7). There is no safety in ANYTHING else!! Anything else is a stronghold of the enemy.
So as I was letting the Holy Spirit teach me I began to think about my strongholds--fear (God didn't give me that spirit), perversity (from being violated as a child), insecurity and anxiety (which are all manifestations of fear).....I began to see how the enemy uses those strongholds and how I use those strongholds to keep myself safe. I DON"T want to come out of my comfort zone. So if I"m afraid of something I just won't do it. In the name of safety I back away. I have fortified myself in my insecurity. I don't know a time when I wasn't afraid of something, when I wasn't insecure about something. And now we have a pandemic that is trying to cause my to be anxious and afraid. But God is not a liar. He said that He didn't give me these spirits and He came to set me free so I believe Him and now comes to work of tearing down the strongholds. Unlocking the door and coming out to face the enemy. If the people unlocked the door they could have saw Abimilek coming and they would have fought for their lives, but because they were locked up and hiding they didn't know that the enemy was blocking them in. We are not ignorant of Satan's devices (2 Corinth 2:11), so was have to see what the enemy is doing and we have to come against him with the sword of the spirit which is the truth of God. So the battle begins.....
Activate
In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. - James 2:17.
If I don't activate my faith, it's dead. My faith is dead until my feet starts to move. If I have faith, but don't do anything, I don't have faith. It's dead, there is no life in it; it can't be used if it's dead. So I have to activate it. I have to get up and do something with what God gave me....
Thank God for the word!!
So my aunt died......
My aunt Gloria has been sick for over 20 years. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes when she was pregnant at 30. This lead to diabetes and congestive heart failure. In January she ended up in the hospital and the doctor diagnosed her with continuous heart failure. The doctor told her that he could give her some medicine to go home and die or he can treat her and the treatment may prolong her life for another year, but 40% of the people who take the treatment die before the year is up. She took the treatment and they put her on hospice.
She passed away a few days ago after a good fight.
So with Covid19 and the death of my aunt, now is the time to really activate my faith. The enemy has been battling me in my mine with fear and anxiety, but God didn't give me that spirit. So I have to stand on faith!! It's impossible to please God without faith. It's impossible. So I've got to do it. As a child of the King I've got to do it.
If I don't activate my faith, it's dead. My faith is dead until my feet starts to move. If I have faith, but don't do anything, I don't have faith. It's dead, there is no life in it; it can't be used if it's dead. So I have to activate it. I have to get up and do something with what God gave me....
Thank God for the word!!
So my aunt died......
My aunt Gloria has been sick for over 20 years. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes when she was pregnant at 30. This lead to diabetes and congestive heart failure. In January she ended up in the hospital and the doctor diagnosed her with continuous heart failure. The doctor told her that he could give her some medicine to go home and die or he can treat her and the treatment may prolong her life for another year, but 40% of the people who take the treatment die before the year is up. She took the treatment and they put her on hospice.
She passed away a few days ago after a good fight.
So with Covid19 and the death of my aunt, now is the time to really activate my faith. The enemy has been battling me in my mine with fear and anxiety, but God didn't give me that spirit. So I have to stand on faith!! It's impossible to please God without faith. It's impossible. So I've got to do it. As a child of the King I've got to do it.
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