Mister posted a message on my FB wall, "Looks like I've made the blocked list." I responded back, "??" Then I sent him a dm and he posted again on my wall that he couldn't respond to my messages. He had deleted my number, so he asked me to give him my number so he could call me. I did and we immediately got back into the groove. It was like old times. Then he asked me to go with him to Kansas City for his family reunion. I agreed and asked him to visit me and my family for the 4th. We were making plans like we were a couple. Like we hadn't missed a beat even though some of his last words to me included calling me a, "black b*tch!" Yep, he called me that over and over again. But here we were exchanging text like old friends. WHAT???????!!!!!!!! He let me know that he needed to get some sleep and I needed to sleep also, and I tossed and turned. Then it dawned on me.... WHAT JUST HAPPENED??
How did I just make plans to drive across country (KC is about 8 hours from me and 12 hours from him) with a man that cursed me out and said all matter of evil things to me. How did that just happen. When I came to my senses I realized how subtle the enemy is. Not Mister, the devil. He is that cunning and crafty. I sent Mister a text around midnight saying that I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be traveling together. This is my text to him:
I finally told him that I didn't think we should vacation together. He said it was fine. That just bothered me. Then a few days later he posed on his page about a cute girl he was with that was snoring. I know that post was meant for me and since then I have been stalking his page. God, I NEED YOU!! I know you won't let me fail and I want so badly to move on with my life!!!
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her break of day.--Psalms 46:5.
And I can't do this in my own strenght!! On last Friday I had it in my spirit that I wanted to move to a different city. I just felt it all day and all weekend. When I got to church on Sunday, the Pastor exclaimed, "God is telling you it's time to move....move from this old life, from depression, from the dead stuff, just move!! AND I GOT IT!!!
The law of beginnings tells us that we don't start anything, we don't do anything until God speaks it to us. And once God spoke, the seed was planted and now I just have to water it....
The seed is hope and watering and nourishing it is FAITH. Faith can't work is without HOPE! And Hope brings along with it CONFIDENCE....this is the CONFIDENCE that I have in HIM, that if I ask anything according to His will He hears me and if He hears me, I KNOW that have the petition that I ask!
It is His will that everything that the locust, the palmerworm, and the canker worm tried to destroy, He will restore. I'm looking foward to new relationships and new and exciting things that are in store!! This is a time for rejuvenation, recovery, restitution, recovery...
I walked into my uncle's log cabin house and I was blown away!!
My uncle (great-uncle actually) used to be the Fire Chief. Before that he was a fireman. He served with the fire department fro 39 years. Everyone knows that most firemen have second jobs--they work for 3 days round the clock, then they are home for 4 days during the week. That time at home, they need to do something and if they don't have small children at home, they have a second job. Many have their own businesses.
My uncle had his own business. He was a Volkswagon repair guy. He had a repair shop and he would restore and repair Volkswagons. He was so good that people would just give him cars and he would restore them, sell them really cheap then make all his money repairing and maintaining them for the people. He got rich with that repair shop and when he retired, he and his wife built their dream house-- a beautiful 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom log cabin house in the country. I say it's in the woods because his house sits on 20 acres of land. Part of the land is rented out to soybean farmers and the rest is forest. He has a pond stocked with catfish, bluegill, and bass. The two guest bedrooms are used by deer hunters during deer season as a sleeping post. He gets a portion of what they hunt as payment. His basement is a service restaurant with numbered tables, a bar, two pool tables and slot machines to keep company entertained. He has well water and his power bill is only $25 a month (not including all the taxes and fees which add another $25). He's a frugal man, always have been. The power company knocked on his door and wanted to know if he was stealing electricity. After explaining to them that he's not doing anything illegal--he simply unplugs everything except for the fridge he then told them that he was offended and would sue them if they accused him of stealing. He monitors his usage everyday. He showed me how.
I left his how so filled with inspiration!!
Oh My God!!!!!!
There is one thing though....there is no God in his life. At least none that I hear about and even though I left his house feeling like I wanted to move to the country, I wanted God even more. If I'm going to amass that type of house and that type of wealth, I want to use it to glorify God!! Because even though a person can work hard and live extravagantly, they can't breathe without God.
I CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT GOD!!!
Right now...I'm sitting here on my sofa a little weepy because I just got the news that one of my former students was killed in a car accident.
How can we live life without God? When we leave this place, our spirit goes somewhere and God is our creator and He wants us back, but if we don't live this life acknowledging him and glorifying him, then our soul will be lost. Eternity is longer than the life we live here on earth. My uncle is a spry 75 year old and I had a blast with him--he taught me how to fish and took me all around the house showing me the architecture and how he conserves energy and saves water by using rain barrels, but when he leaves this place, the beautiful home will still be here. As a matter of fact someone else will live in it because his wife said she will sell it--(his wife is considerably younger than him and she still works in a city about 45 miles from where they live and she has a problem living in the house because of her allergies and all the pollen. Also, when the road get bad in the winter time she has to have a way to get to work, so she rents an apartment in the town where she works.)
Anyway....
I left his home almost in tears because I was so filled with emotions. I'm emotional now (with the bad news) and when I'm emotional like this, it makes me want to be close to someone, but I had no one. I almost logged back into FB (I deactivated my account) to contact Mister for some comfort, but that would not be a wise thing to do. So my comfort has to come from God--the Holy Spirit. He has to comfort me.
So, even though my goal will be to be like my uncle, the difference is that I want to serve God and I want my life to exemplify Christ.
Today is my birthday....
And I wanted to sleep in, but God had other plans.
I got a call from my baby sis at 6:03am wishing me a happy b-day. Then Dec called me at 6:21am with a powerpoint malfunction. HUH?? So, I had to get up at that point. I put my clothes on and headed to the business expo to fix the powerpoint. It took me all of about a minute. At that point, I was up and at 'em so I headed to the gym.
I started my couch to 5k training today and it felt good. I wasn't too tired. I ran about 2 miles in 20 minutes. I did take a small nap before I headed to my group couch to 5k training and I ran another 3 miles. Dang, it felt good.
Thank God for another birthday. I've been eating better and I've lost 15lbs. I have another dr's appt for May 17. We'll see how that goes.
