I Want to Buy this Car for My Brother

My brother needs a newer car and I wish I had to money to buy this one for him...

AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I had a little talk with Jesus today because of what I learned last night. I just throw my hands up....I give up!!! I CAN NOT LIVE THIS LIFE IN MY OWN STRENGTH!!! I HAVE TO HAVE CHRIST IN MY LIFE.

When I was a little girl I had a dream about Decatur. I never knew anything about Decatur or that there was a city named Decatur in Illinois.  So, when I moved here, I knew this is where I was supposed to be.  So, here I am and I love it here.  This is where my family is--my church home is my family.  I have a spiritual mother and father and sister's and brother's in Christ. I am comfortable here.  So, this is where I'm going to flourish.  This is where I"m going to be blessed.  This is where I'm being healed and tutored and mentored......I DIDN'T COME TO DECATUR TO DIE!!!!! I CAME TO TRANSITION INTO MY PROMISE!!!!!!

That is what I"m going to do....

So, I had a little talk with Jesus today because I am tired of where I am in my singleness and in my debt.  I know God hear me when I pray, I just want to express to him that I GIVE UP!! I want to move forward. I HAVE to move forward because I don't want to go backwards. I have come to far.

So, God I need you!!!

I work in your kingdom. I understand that church work is not salvation, but I am committed to Your house and Your man and woman of God.  I LOVE You and Your man and woman of God and the church family that I am apart of...and I'm learning to love the people, but I need some help at home. I need some help with school. I want to take care of your business, but I need help with the personal business you have given me....

Unhappily Married

My sister got married three years ago in 2011. However, her life and the marriage has been going downhill since them. So, now she wants OUT!!

 She has been using her maiden name for everything and I told her that this is illegal and she just doesn't understand. The job she has now she used her maiden name. She got stopped by the police and she gave her DL with her maiden name. She said she's not using her married name because her license was suspended. So that means that she is driving illegally.

 I told her that she is going to cause a lot of trouble doing that because that is technically identity theft. I tried to explain to her that when she got married and changed her name, she is no longer a C****. She is a FELTON. Her SSN is now associated with FELTON, not C****, by using C****, she is causing trouble for herself. So I gave her money to get her license renewed.

 The other problem is that she had me to file her taxes for the last 3 years. So, I told that since she is married, the only filing status that she can file is married filing jointly or married filing separately and since MFS is a really bad status, it is good to file jointly. The issue is her husband went to jail in 09/2012 (he was committed to IDOC at that time. I'm not sure how long he was in the county) so because of that, she HAS to file married for 2011 and 2012 (because he wasn't in jail more than 6 months). I was looking up info on taxes and incarcerated spouse because I was sure that even though he was in jail the whole year of 2013, I still don't think she can file single. The other issue is that he owes back child support. I told her that since her husband owes child support they will take the refund and in that case, she will need to file as an innocent spouse. She got upset because sure enough the IRS sent a letter saying that the money will go to back child support.

I'm sad for her because she's dug a whole for herself and now she wants to get out, but when you are married, you are married and the only way to NOT be married is to go through the courts and GET A DIVORCE!!

Not A Bad Thing

I just want to be in love!!!

I'm More Concerned About Healthcare Cost Than My Health

It's a total shame!!!

I went to the ER this morning because I broke my toe.  Not just hit it, but I broke it. It was leaning to the side and I could not walk AT ALL.  I did a quick search for broken toe on the internet and it said that if the toe is crooked, they may have to reset it.  My toe was leaning to the side towards my baby toe--not straight at all, so I went to the ER.  I was gonna call my insurance company to see what hospital I needed to go to, but it took me so long to scooch down the stairs and hop to my car that I didn't want to have to try to get back up the stairs to get my cell phone.  So, I just picked a hospital and I went.  This was an emergency. I NEEDED to go.  I was hesitant, but I needed to go.

I was hesitant because I've been told that when you break a toe there is nothing they can do for it, but since it was crooked and the pain was excruciating to try to walk on it, I went.

They took X-rays and the doctor showed me my bone that was broken in my 4th toe.  He explained to me what I already knew and the nurse taped it up (horribly) and gave me a boot to put on.  This is a pic of what the nurse did.  My toe is leaning to the right why not tape it to the left so that it can heal straight?

I hobbled out of the ER and went to CVS to get my own tape and gauze.  It cost me less than $5. I know the ER visit will be WWWWAAAAAYYYYYY  more than that.  This is a pic of how I taped my toe. Basic first aid....

Another reason I was hesitant was because of the bills.

I AM TRYING TO GET OUT OF DEBT!!! I WANT TO BE OUT OF DEBT SO BADLY!!!!

I don't need any extra bills and I know the minute you go to the ER and they take you back, there is a bill for over $1000.  Then there will be a bill from the radiology department and they will probably charge me for the tape and the ride in the wheel chair.  UGH!!

So, I got home and looked up my insurance and sure enough--THE HOSPITAL I WENT TO WAS NOT IN MY NETWORK!!!!

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

It's a shame when I have to be so concerned about how to pay the bill that I am stressed.  When did health care get this bad.

The Bible talks about money being the root of all evil. Our healthcare system is pure evil.

My Baby Boy

Everyone is having babies around me.....OMG!!!

I NEED a husband. LOL

I had a dream the other day and in the dream there was a light skinned baby boy I was holding.  He was knocked out sleep--his arm all dangling around. LOL.  It was too cute.

Then I laid him down to change his diaper and it was a mess. It was loaded up. LOL.

God showed me my baby boy!! Thank You Jesus!!!

....He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future]“   John 16:13 (AMP).

The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave

I got to attend a military graduation on yesterday.  I was so happy.  This lady that goes to my church (who used to be my neighbor), her son was graduating from the Army basic training in Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. He invited me to attend the graduation because I tutored him last summer to help him pass the test to get into the military.

One reason I wanted to go was because he invited me and the other reason I wanted to go was because I can remember when I was in college and I wanted my family to attend my graduation and for a moment no one was going to be able to come.  My mom didn't have a car and the relationship with my grandmother wasn't the best, so it looked like I was going to be spending graduation alone.  But, then they showed up and I was so happy.

So, it was a pleasure to drive eight hours (round trip) to see him and hang out with him.  He had family day on Wednesday and graduation on Thursday.  He said that one of his friends's family drove 12 hours to be there!!!  I would have done the same.

Relationships are so important and my goal is to work on my relationships!!

He told us all the stories about his drill sergeants and what they had to go through.  I can only imagine.

Anyway, I am happy for him and happy that I was able to provide the transportation and means to get there to celebrate with him!!

Army Strong. Hooah!!!

I Hate When Doctors Act Like It's No Big Deal

I had my annual pap smear today.  It actually wasn't annual since my last one was May 2012.  During the visit I asked the doctor about my facial hair.  She just said that if it has not been something that has occurred suddenly versus over a long period of time, it's not really a big deal.  WHAT??

I have facial hair.  I am not a boy. I have a beard--a goatie growing in that I have to shave every two days. That is a HUGE deal.

She looked at my chin and said, "It's not that bad."

AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!

I am a single woman with facial hair.  That is bad.  I haven't kissed a guy in a long time, but when I get to a point where I will be kissing a guy, I don't want him to touch my face because I'm sure he won't be thinking, "It's not that bad."

GROSSSSSS!!!!! is what he will be thinking.

It is a big deal and I need to get it fixed asap.

My Next Purse

Nancy Gonzalez Large Crocodile Flap Work Satchel Bag, Black

Nancy Gonzalez crocodile handbag is engineered to keep you stylishly organized on the go. Nancy Gonzalez signature Caiman fuscus crocodile with golden hardware. Rolled top handles; 6" drop. Top-zip compartments and flap pockets at front and back. Inside, suede lining; cell pocket and zip pocket. Center zip pocket divides interior. Self-covered protective feet. 10"H x 13 1/2"W x 6"D; bag weighs 3lbs 4oz. Made in Colombia. Large Crocodile Flap Work Satchel Bag, Black $3,950.00 NMS14_L0AAM

 

 

 

 

 

 

COLOR: BLACK

Total Recall

I got my recall notice for my car *doing the praise Jesus dance*.  I have been suffering with this car for the past five years--when the weather drops, it won't start. And thanks to GM with their ignition switch issues, I get my car fixed on their dime.  THANK YOU JESUS!!

So, now that I can get that fixed, I need to get my sway bars fixed and then whatever is wrong with my engine.

Oh boy....

I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

These people are getting high and it's making me SICK!!!!  OMG!!!

I don't know what to do. I keep reporting it and it seems like nothing is being done. I wish I knew some police because I would be calling them all the time.  

And now I'm sleeping on the sofa again because my blow up bed is kaputz.  OMG...I think I'm getting high. There is marijuana smoke in my apartment and it's giving me a headache.

Anyway, I'm sleeping on the sofa again and I am bummed out.  I can't stand living here anymore, but I can't afford to move.  I've got $52,000 in debt hanging over my head and I want to use the next 2 years to get rid of it and I can use the extra rent money to do that.

But the pot smoking, noise, and trash is getting to me.  

Lord, help me to hold out.....  

Evil Communications

I hate when I have days like this. UGH!!!

I make one wrong mistake and it takes in on a carpet ride, that is all but magic.  Basically, Mister came to town and I went to see him last night. Bad move....

I came back home all wrong. Which caused me physical troubles and I've been in this funk all day. Now I have to go to pray and I don't feel like it.  GGGGRRRRRRR!!!!

So, now in addition to fasting the first 15 days of the month, I will be avoiding any unholy contact with men. God, I gotta get through this!!!

Are You Mad @ Me?

That's what my neighbor asked me.  Basically, I hadn't answered her call or text, so she thought I was mad at her.  I was just in the shower and didn't know she called at all.  And when I responded it was short and sweet.

Background....

My neighbor goes to church with me and since we live close to each other, she rides with me to church.  She also borrows my car a lot which I don't mind because if I'm working my car is just sitting at home. And the weather has been brutal so riding the bus or walking has not been a favorable option.  So, she asks me, sometimes more than once a day to borrow my car.  Sometimes I get a little.....for no reason at all.  I guess it's because if I need to use my car, I can't if she has it or I guess I also wonder how many times a person really needs to go to Kroger.  Why not just get everything in once visit.  But, then again, she doesn't work, so I guess sometimes just getting out is good.  At any rate, I have absolutely NO REASON AT ALL to be bothered.  She fills my car with gas and she's back when she says she's coming back.

But, it bothered me when she asked me if I was upset and I had to think.....

This reminds me of me?

I told her that this is the enemy putting thoughts in her head because I have ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO BE MAD AT HER and I wasn't.  So, she conjured up in her brain that since she was constantly asking me, that it was a bother to me and I would be mad at her for some reason.

This is something that I would think.  As a matter of fact, I was thinking this same thing the other day.

There is a lot of paper work for my job--A LOT!! And for some reason I KEEP messing up simple things like transposing numbers or leaving the date off a form or not signing a form.  Just simple mistakes and it has frustrated me because I should not be making these simple mistakes.  No one else makes these mistakes and most of the time I don't notice them at all.  So in my mind I was thinking that I was going to be fired and I started praying that I not be fired.

This situation with my neighbor actually made me see how God must see me, "WHAT, fired?  Why would I give you a job and then turn around and fire you?"  God is not thinking evil of me!! So, I have to stop allowing the devil to create stories in my head of my demise.

"I know the thoughts I have towards you saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil to bring you to an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11.

My First Assignment

I just turned in my first assignment as a graduate student.  THANK GOD!!! I hope I get an A. I am beat. I'm going to bed, but I want a cheeseburger!!