I Can't Do This Again

I'm all moved into my new apartment. I guess I'm not homeless anymore. Thank God!! But I can't do this again. I feel like God is giving me a second chance to do things the right way and I don't want to mess this up. Man, I don't want to mess this up. I've moved everything BY MYSELF and now my body hurts.....

And I'm all alone in this apartment....

I'm not complaining. At least I get to walk around naked without having to bother anyone. LOL. But, it is lonely.

Despite that, I thank God.

I Hate That

When you run into someone you DO NOT want to see. I went to Best Buy to get a router modem for my new comcast internet service and going through the checkout line I saw Coach. I spoke, he spoke and we tried to talk to each other across the aisle, but he finally came over. I wasn't feeling it...I wasn't looking my best, he wasn't either. I wasn't feeling my best, and we tried to chit chat, but BLAH. He is one guy that I really could do without seeing ever again.

Come on Boaz

I Wanna Put My Air in My Mama Name

I will be moving soon!! I got a text from the landlord. She wanted me to sign the lease today, but I don't have access to the rent and deposit. I HAVE it, I just don't have ACCESS to it. I put my money in 3 different accounts and one bank doesn't open on the weekend, so I have to get it on Monday. So, I will have the keys to my new place.

THANK GOD!!!!!!

I already turned the power on in my name, I set up an appointment for them to come on November 3. Now I need to find internet. UGH!! I don't like bargain shopping for these types of things. I don't want to spend more than $40 on internet service, but it seems like everything goes up after 12 months. OMG. I think I might be playing the game. I want the same internet as before because it was fine, but I can't find it. Dag. And I don't want a home phone.

As I was looking for all of these services, I remembered a comic who had a joke about the high prices of utility expenses....he pretty soon they would be charging us for air and people would be calling and saying, "I wanna put my air in my mama name." It was so funny...

My Car Gone Get Towed

I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE!! I got a call this morning about my work car and I was told that if I don't move it, it will be towed. OMG!!

God, help me please!!!

I texted the landlord about the apartment and she said the apartment will be ready on tomorrow, so I'm hoping I can move in the next week or so. I can't wait.

God, I'm so sorry for not being good steward.

I was feeling some kind of way today...I know I haven't been living right and my heart has been tainted and I DON'T LIKE IT!! And now I'm realizing that that feeling was bitterness. I don't want it in my heart!!

The bitterness is trying to creep in because I've allowed me flesh to do what it wants to do....and it is not good, so I take authority NOW, IN JESUS' NAME.

I will not be consumed with bitterness, envy, and jealousy, I REFUSE to allow the enemy to still my salvation!!

God, grant me the grace to forgive myself and move on in your righteousness, in Jesus name. Amen!

I Almost Pee'd my Pants

I attended the Saints Can Laugh Too Comedy show last night. The host was a young man who is SOOOOO FUNNY. He does these characters-the church lady who does the announcments, the old deacon, an african man who just came to America and his newest character is a spoof of a popular Christian Pastor. The character's name is Joel Oilsheen and he wears tight pants. I laughed so hard, I was choking and I almost pee'd in my pants. I laughed so hard, the lady in front of me moved. I guess I was having TOO good a time.

I am so glad I went  because I was tired and I had school work and other work to do. But, I had a blast!!

Moses Was a Basketcase

I was feeling defeated today. I failed yet again in my physical struggles and it was causing inner turmoil. Whenever I feel this way, I turn up the faith. I made it up in my mind that I was going to fast, but I was struggling. I was hungry, upset, just plain emotional and on my way to get something to eat, I saw a sign outside a church that said, "Don't Give Up, Moses Was a Basket Case." This gave me some strength. Yes, I still wento to get something to eat, but I was not as down as before. I'm still a little down, but I know God loves me, so I will keep on keeping on!!

I'm going to keep trying until the day I die becaues it is true...all of the great people in the Bible were majorly flawed....

1. Moses killed a man and then fled.
2. Abraham worshipped idol Gods that his father made.
3. David committed adultry, had a man murdered and then married his wife.
4. Joseph was filled with pride.

The list can go on and one. The only one that was perfect was Jesus!

So, I'm human with human problems and me and the Holy Spirit are going to work on them together!

**I looked up "basket case" and this is what was given:  a person or thing regarded as useless or unable to cope.

Furniture Looking

I have been furniture looking.....

I still have no place to live, but i've been furniture looking and so far I'm up to about $1000 for a sofa and two living room chairs. They are beautiful and if I had $1000, I'd buy them.

But, the office desk is only $60. Woohoo!!!! 

But it doesn't have a chair, so I'd need to buy a chair. But, I did find really cool desk accessaries at Hobby Lobby! Yep staplers, scissors, calculators, pencil holders and even a desk clock. Cute and blingy.

Now for the bedroom....My dream bed was not at Slumberland, but I saw this. well, acually it was mailed to me in an advertisement....Only $400 for the bed, not mattress and bed, but just the lovely headboard, rails, and footboard.

But, since they didnt' have it in a fullsize, I looked at this bed...

But if you notice it says the word "youth" because this is a children's bed, but it comes in full size. And I LOVE the headboard....but I dont' want a bed made for a child. I might be too heavy for it. And it has a cute little vanity to go with it, but I don't want children's furniture. Dag. 

So it looks like bedroom furniture will be about $1000 if I include a nice mattress.

Then there is the dining room furniture and I saw these two sets that were both about $400-$500. So I need about $5000 for furniture and that includes all the little stuff--sheets, pillows, dishes, etc. 

NEVER Again to be the same!

My adult life has been changed and there are 3 very significant vehicles that has helped in this transformation.

1. My church home. The word of God transforms. And it's not just the word because the Bible says that letter kills, but it's the SPIRIT OF GOD that causes dead things to live and because God has bestowed upon me the blessing of being connected to an awesome Man and Woman of God, my life is FOREVER changed.

2. Rae Lewis Thornton I started reading her blog in 2010. She was on the cover of Essence magazine as the face of HIV/AIDS in a time when this disease was plagued among the white male community and being transferred to the black community. I started reading her blog because I was in charge of an HIV grant and I need to arm myself with tools to help people and I began to read her life. And in reading, I God began to change my self-esteem and I began to look at my relationships with men differently. No more was I going to allow a man to use me. Yes, I was still strugging a little, but my mind was changing.

3. Financial Peace University I stared listening to Dave Ramsey when I was layed off and struggling financially and because of his teaching, I am on my way to being financially free and I thank God for that!!!

This life that God has given me is going to shine and bear the image of Christ and this can't happen without me changing.

So I thank God for my change!!!

Never Knew a Love Like This

My mind is blown and I know there is more to come...

God is AMAZING!!!! The last few days I have been transformed yet again and I want to bottle this up and keep it!! The only thing I can explain is that it is love!! I am HIS. I am HIS. I am HIS and I'm never leaving. No man can make me feel like this. I belong to GOD. It's hard to explain, but I am FOREVER CHANGED!!