My First 5K

I had a BLAST....

I signed up with a few people from my job for a 5K Mud Run (Dirt Run because of the drought). It was SOOOOO FUN!!!!!

Even though it took us an hour.  We were just out to have fun, not to compete and it was for a fundraiser, so we were there fore the mud. The name our team was Dirt Devils...Angels in Disguise.

Before the run...our t-shirts were so white.....

But after the run.....

There was so much mud, dirt, sand, and cooking oil....YES COOKING OIL...that my clothes were ruined...my underwear and my new lime greem sports bra.  BUT, I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!

This is NOT the Promise

I was so busy trying to make this my home....not realizing that this is temporary....

God has blessed me with a place to live that I don't have to pay rent or utilities (I can't afford to pay it anyway) and when He blessed me I was trying to "settle" in for the long haul. I was making a 5 year plan, like I always do, but I'm realizing that the reason I can't get "settled" is because THIS is NOT where I'm supposed to settle. I lived in my old apartment for 6 years and would have loved to still be living there now.  The neighborhood was nice....of course in an apartment building there are people who may come and go, but it wasn't a bad place. But, when I had to move, my life was disrupted. And I was in a hurry to "settle" down again. Who likes to be unsettled. There is unrest when you aren't settled.  So, I really, really wanted to settle in for the long haul....But, for now I'm still in a transition and I'll wait on God....I don't want to get in a rush, but I don't want to stay here longer than I have to!!!

By the GRACE of God, this is not where I'm gonna be for too much longer.  I'm just in a holding pattern
Thank God that this is not what He has promised for me!!!  There is something better!!!!

Still working on it

I'm praying for grace and mercy.....

Grace is God's unmerited favor. Something I don't deserve, but I get it anyway.  Mercy is God forgiving me and not punishing me when I do deserve punishment.

The Bible says in Hebrews 4:16, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."  God is still working on me and right now I need some grace and mercy. And I pray that God will honor His word. I've gone to Him in prayer to find grace a mercy in my time of need.

I thank God for grace and mercy in my time of need!!!


To be continued....

Speechless

I've been thinking about this blog post for days.....not really knowing what to write, not wanting to complain, but wanting to express myself.  You know...just get it out, but something was stopping me.  I didn't want to complain because I'm grateful to God for keeping me.  I've living rent free, I don't have to pay utilities....what more could I ask for??

*tears in my eyes*

But, despite all of this....GOD is STILL faithful to me. He's never left me and He continues to show me His love, grace, and mercy.

So, I've been struggling financially and I just told God that I need a financial blessing. I've been giving to my church, I've been being obedient by being a blessing to my spiritual father, just like the Bible tells me.  I haven;t been complaining even though my car note is 3 months past due...I just been trusting God.  When my refrigerator was empty, He made sure that I was able to get some food and have the food last.  When I didnt't have deodorant, He made sure that the price was just right so that I could what I needed....He was and is still faithful to bless me. But, I didnt' want to be in distress. I have doctor bills that I need to pay, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow, I have to go to dentist....I have other things that I need to pay for like my car insurance and my student loans....but what I have coming in is just enough to keep gas in my car and food on the table.  I don't have money for extras....not that I NEED anything extra, I just want to be able to take care of my basic needs without having to ask for a handout....

So, I was gonna write this blog earlier, but I didn't want to complain, I just kept thinking about how God TOOK CARE OF the children of Israel when they left Egypt.  Their clothes didn't wear out nor did their shoes wear our for 40 years.  They were fed everyday...they had water.  They had their basic needs met. I remember reading about how at one point they began to charge high fees for certain things and they complained to the Judges and the Judges made laws that they had to forgive their debts and lower the prices so that they could live comfortably in the wilderness.  However, the wilderness was not supposed to be home.  It was a transition...it was a passageway!!  But, they got stuck and died there.

I don't want to get comfortable her.  I was trying to...that's why I wanted to buy a new bed and get new furniture.  I wanted to make this my home....as uncomfortable as I am here, I still wanted this to be my home.  But, since I just left Egypt, I don't want to make this my home. I've got a better place.  Even though sometimes my mind tries to take me back to Egypt, I realize that I don't want to go back and I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE!!

And I didn't want to complain about here.

The children of Israel complained and they DIED because of it...well, that and the fact that they still had an Egyptian mindset.  They didn't see themselves living better than as slaves in Egypt.  They couldn't fathom it....

Well, I'm determined to move from here to what God has promised for me. So, I will keep the faith and stand on the word of God.  So, instead of complain I just been thinking about God's word.

In His word, it says that in the wilderness He took care of them, so God I need You to take care of me!!  I don't have the means to...You fed the, You clothed them...they didn't want for anything.  As a matter of fact when they left Egypt, they left with treasures, Exodus 12:36, " The Lord made sure that the Egyptians were kind to the people so that they let them have whatever they asked for. And so they robbed the Egyptians." The Message Bible.

So, they didn't leave Egypt broke!!

Father, I need some stuff that gonna carry me through this wilderness!!!

The children of Israel wondered for 40 years.  It was only supposed to take them 11 days.  So, the stuff that they took were was supposed to go with them into their promise so that they could live the good life.  They were going to a land flowing with mild and honey, they were going to a land of abundance, so with all the stuff they had, they were gonna fit right in?

Have you ever been to a place where you stuck out like a sore thumb because everyone was dressed a certain way, but you didn't know what to wear, so you had on the opposite.  Well, the children of Israel wasn't gonna have that problem because the gold, silver, livestock...all of that was gonna be used when they moved to their new homes.  They had no use for it in the wilderness.  As a matter of fact they used to for what they knew back in Egypt...idolatry.  Moses didn't know God when he was in Egypt...he was Pharoah's adopted heir, so he lived as the Egyptians lived and they were idolators....So, they used the jeweler to erect a false god to worship.

But, that jewelry was supposed to be worn in their new home...in the land of abundance.

I want to get my stuff while I"m in the wilderness so that when I go to my new home I will fit right in.

So, why am I speechless?????

All of this has been on my mind and I've been trying to stay stress free and not worry about finances.  So, imagine my surprise when I get a call from a 618 area code.  I thought it was my little brother because I had just talked to him earlier.  It turns out, it was my other little brother...my real father's son.  He was calling to get my address and phone number because when my grandmother died, actually before she died when I used to visit her she used to tell me that she wanted to make sure that my sister and I was listed as beneficiaries along with my brother and other sister. I guess she did just that because my brother said that we have some money coming.  He doesn't know how much....but, in a month we will be receiving something from the courts.....

I thank God for my silver and gold, my livestock and linens....whatever I need to take care of my needs so that when I move all the debt will be erased and I will be able to be a blessing to a lot of people.!!

Who's Knocking on the Door?

It's been quiet for about 4 months now since all my neighbors on my floor have moved.  But, I've got new neighbors now and one of them, my boss has told me to keep an eye on.

It's no secret that take pics of the vehicles on our parking lot, I've told tenants this during several meetings because the rules state that there are to be no overnight guest....so if cars are not registered with staff and they are overnight, then that means that staff have to investigate who is staying overnight.  So, my boss called me several times to ask me what type of car this particular neighbor drives.  I took a pic of her car and the car her bf drives and I told her different times when her bf has come and gone from the building.  Well, this neighbor does not like the fact that I follow instructions and do my job. I've overheard her several times cursing me out about taking pics of her vehicles and being nosy.  It hadn't bothered me, but then I had this dream......

Staff was conducting an early morning inspection (these usually occur around 5am to catch tenants with overnight guest). During the inspection, it was found out that this neighbor's bf was there and was asked to leave.  The man was upset and left the building and she left behind him.  As staff were finishing the inspections the man and my neighbor were arguing loudly in the parking lot.  Other tenants walked outside to see what was going on and as I looked outside I saw a women being blown away by a gun shot.  That frightened me and the staff so I began going downstairs to the basement and I locked the basement door and was looking for a place to hide. As I was looking for a place to hid, I heard someone knocking on the basement door and then the doorknob was being turned.  This frightened me and for some reason I thought is was my neighbor and I woke up.

When I woke up, I was nervous and I looked at the clock and it was 6:05am.  I began to pray. While praying I fell back to sleep.  I'm not sure what time I fell asleep or how long I was asleep, but in my sleep, I heard a loud knock on my door.  It frightened it so much that I woke up again.  I looked at the clock and it was 7:05am.  I began to pray and pray and I got out of bed to get ready for work.

These two dreams bothered.  I don't remember my dreams very often and most times when I do, it's because God is telling me something.  So, I was wondering what it was God was telling me......

I sent my mom and email asking her if she was okay....I was thinking that maybe something was going on at home and I needed to wake up to pray. I'm not sure.....

I wonder who was at the door knocking??