I needed some deodorant... BADLY. I ran out a few days ago and I had to use baking soda which burned my underarms. Then I remembered the travel size deodorant I got free from the community college bookstore. It was in my office drawer. However, I was a little concerned because that wouldn't last long. I prayed and got some coupons because deordorant is not cheap....well, not the kind that I usually buy--$11 per container. My goal was to stock up, but since it cost so much I haven't been able to.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into Walgreens and saw $1 Degree. WHAT?? I was happy. I've used Degree before and it wasn't the small one either. I grabbed 4 and I think I'm gonna go buy some more because I really really need deodorant and I want to stock up.
THANK YOU GOD for taking care of my on my journey through the wilderness.
Now, I just need money to do laundry!!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I Just Left Egypt
Two years ago, around this time I was staring homelessness in the face. My apartment was being emptied, clothes were being pack up. I was counting down the days.....
Last year, in December my friend rescued me and allowed me to live with her. One night, in January 2011 while at her house I looked up Egypt online. I was thinking how it would be nice to visit. Shortly after researching, the crisis in Egypt became known worldwide and many foreigners who were vacationing there were flocking to airports to leave....no one was planning to vacation there.
All of this reminded me of my Egypt journey. No, I've never been there physically, but when I compare my life to the word of God, I can say that I've had an experience like the children of Israel. They lived in Egypt. Many of them were even born in Egypt, but that wasn't their nationality. They weren't considered Egyptians even though they were born their. Their history was Abraham, Issac and Jacob (Israel). They were Israelites.
*this is not a history lesson, ....just telling a story*
So, they belong to God. They were God's chosen. They were indoctrinated into the new culture/lifestyle of Egypt. They lived there for 400 years. So leaving Egypt was a big thing!!
Think about it....my people historically come from Africa, but I've never been to Africa. What would it be like if I left American and went to live in Africa? There would be some adjustments that need to be made because That is a whole different continent with it's own culture. I'd have to adapt/adjust to live.
The children of Israel needed to adapt even while leaving Egypt. God gave us the history of them losing their life so that when we leave our "Egypt", we don't die just like them.
They could not adapt...they even wanted to go back......
WHY???? Not because that's where they were from, but because that's what they KNEW. They didn't know a different way of living. It's interesting...when they left Canaan, they didn't complain. There is no record of them wanting to go back. They could have gone back when the famine was over. They didn't so why complain when God wanted to take them back to where they were from?
I don't know what lies ahead for me, but I do know that I've left Egypt. I was there for a long time. Not only was I there, but I was born there. Egypt was in my....the culture/lifestyle, but I'm not there anymore. My address is different, I don't live there anymore....so as I'm journeying to my new home, I'm not gonna make the same mistakes that they made.
I don't want to go back to Egypt.....
Last year, in December my friend rescued me and allowed me to live with her. One night, in January 2011 while at her house I looked up Egypt online. I was thinking how it would be nice to visit. Shortly after researching, the crisis in Egypt became known worldwide and many foreigners who were vacationing there were flocking to airports to leave....no one was planning to vacation there.
All of this reminded me of my Egypt journey. No, I've never been there physically, but when I compare my life to the word of God, I can say that I've had an experience like the children of Israel. They lived in Egypt. Many of them were even born in Egypt, but that wasn't their nationality. They weren't considered Egyptians even though they were born their. Their history was Abraham, Issac and Jacob (Israel). They were Israelites.
*this is not a history lesson, ....just telling a story*
So, they belong to God. They were God's chosen. They were indoctrinated into the new culture/lifestyle of Egypt. They lived there for 400 years. So leaving Egypt was a big thing!!
Think about it....my people historically come from Africa, but I've never been to Africa. What would it be like if I left American and went to live in Africa? There would be some adjustments that need to be made because That is a whole different continent with it's own culture. I'd have to adapt/adjust to live.
The children of Israel needed to adapt even while leaving Egypt. God gave us the history of them losing their life so that when we leave our "Egypt", we don't die just like them.
They could not adapt...they even wanted to go back......
WHY???? Not because that's where they were from, but because that's what they KNEW. They didn't know a different way of living. It's interesting...when they left Canaan, they didn't complain. There is no record of them wanting to go back. They could have gone back when the famine was over. They didn't so why complain when God wanted to take them back to where they were from?
I don't know what lies ahead for me, but I do know that I've left Egypt. I was there for a long time. Not only was I there, but I was born there. Egypt was in my....the culture/lifestyle, but I'm not there anymore. My address is different, I don't live there anymore....so as I'm journeying to my new home, I'm not gonna make the same mistakes that they made.
I don't want to go back to Egypt.....
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Running on "E"
My car
My refrigerator
My bank account
And
My body
My refrigerator: Top shelf: Expresso (leftover from tirimusu), croutons (I don't make salads very often), refried beans (lunch tomorrow), balsamic vinegar glaze (just because) Middle shelf: steel cut oats (breakfast for the next week), cornbread and bread crumbs (leftover from cornbread dressing. will be making more this weekend).
Bottom shelf needs to be cleaned badly!!
My refrigerator
My bank account
And
My body
Bottom shelf needs to be cleaned badly!!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Ouch!!
My job involves going into churches and providing health information to congregations. It's been a challenging job because I don't know the churches (there are over 200) or the clergy in our city. But, there is one Pastor who has been really welcoming. I've gone into his church and has done quite a few health events. I even became a fitness instructor to teach his congregation aerobics. And my crush showed up at his church during a workout class. He didn't show up again and I wondered if he was a member of the church. I didn't have to wonder anymore because on today, I showed up at the church for a Power Sunday event and my crush walked in. Not only did he walk in, but I was nervous and excited to see him and was prepared to speak and he just WALKED RIGHT PAST ME. WOW!!!!!
I didn't expect that response from him AT ALL
OUCH!!
OUCH!!
There was a point in the service where everyone was encouraged to hug 3 people. Again, I didn't expect the cold shoulder from him, but that's what I got.
In the past, I've learned that when someone gives you the cold shoulder like that, there is something going on...there's a dead cat on the line.
WOW!!
I didn't expect that response from him AT ALL
OUCH!!
OUCH!!
There was a point in the service where everyone was encouraged to hug 3 people. Again, I didn't expect the cold shoulder from him, but that's what I got.
In the past, I've learned that when someone gives you the cold shoulder like that, there is something going on...there's a dead cat on the line.
WOW!!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Don't You Hate That Feeling....Part II
"Ideas are everywhere, the trick is turning them in to something, " Paul Fleischman.
I used to have anxiety all the time...It started around 2004 after I lost my daughter. At first I didn't notice it, but then it came so often and sometimes for no reason. I would just be sitting and have a panic attack. Over the years, I learned to deal with it and it began to go away. Then a couple of years ago it came back. Mainly because I DREAM BIG....I have these GRAND IDEAS in my head, but they seem so FAR from reach. So, it would cause me to be anxious.
I never considered myself to be smart. I always wanted to BE smart, but I never thought I WAS/AM smart. So I would pray to God for help and He would answer me, so I then began to become creative and I would pray to God for creative ideas and He would give them to me. So now I don't say/think that I'm smart, I say/think that God has given me the ability to think, plan, create, etc. But, when an idea comes to me that I WANT to do, but have no idea HOW I would be able to or if I feel intimidated, it gives me great anxiety.
One of the causes according to wikipedia is, "Lack of assertiveness — A growing body of evidence supports the idea that those that suffer from panic attacks engage in a passive style of communication or interactions with others. This communication style, while polite and respectful, is also characteristically un-assertive. This un-assertive way of communicating seems to contribute to panic attacks while being frequently present in those that are afflicted with panic attacks."
And I really believe that this is the reason for my panic attacks...
In the past I have been intimidated and suffered greatly from inferiority. The Bible explains it like this:
There were 12 spies who went to spy out the land and their job was to bring back a good report. However, 10 spies came back and said, "we look like grasshoppers in their eyesight." --The story of the Children of Isreal going from Egypt to their promised land in Exodus.
If they were spies, then how did they look like grasshoppers to them? No one knows that a spy is around...they are incognito, but they were fearful, they had an spirit of inferiority.
This was me!!
As a matter of fact, just on last week I was invited, at the last minute, to a meeting to network with some Pastors for a project. I had just finished Zumba class and the Pastor that was inviting me told me that it would be okay to attend just the way that I was. He said that he was going in his gym clothes. So, I ran to my office, got my business cards and some flyers and headed out. When I walked into the room, immediately I panicked. Everyone was in business attired and it wasn't just Pastor/Clergy...there were professionals from the school district and other businesses.
Here I was representing the health department in gym clothes. Albeit, I had just finished working, but still..I needed to present myself better. After I panicked, I began to feel quite small.....and their eyes were on me when I walked in (I was a little late). I began to get mad at the Pastor for telling me to come like that, but instead I gathered myself and confidently sat and talked and ate. I wasn't totally confident, but I was enough to speak to and hug the superintendent and several others. THANK GOD!! I was able to cast down those thoughts of inferiority.
So, now I'm beginning to tread unchartered territory and there is a little trepediation, but I'm casting down fear, anxiety, panic, inferiority...because there is work for me to do!!! I can't die in the wilderness like the children of Isreal. Out of 2M adults, only 2 (Joshua & Caleb) were able to go into the promised land. I can't die on the way to my promised land!!! I refuse to die!!!
THANK GOD!!!! I'm not gonna die here!!!
I used to have anxiety all the time...It started around 2004 after I lost my daughter. At first I didn't notice it, but then it came so often and sometimes for no reason. I would just be sitting and have a panic attack. Over the years, I learned to deal with it and it began to go away. Then a couple of years ago it came back. Mainly because I DREAM BIG....I have these GRAND IDEAS in my head, but they seem so FAR from reach. So, it would cause me to be anxious.
I never considered myself to be smart. I always wanted to BE smart, but I never thought I WAS/AM smart. So I would pray to God for help and He would answer me, so I then began to become creative and I would pray to God for creative ideas and He would give them to me. So now I don't say/think that I'm smart, I say/think that God has given me the ability to think, plan, create, etc. But, when an idea comes to me that I WANT to do, but have no idea HOW I would be able to or if I feel intimidated, it gives me great anxiety.
One of the causes according to wikipedia is, "Lack of assertiveness — A growing body of evidence supports the idea that those that suffer from panic attacks engage in a passive style of communication or interactions with others. This communication style, while polite and respectful, is also characteristically un-assertive. This un-assertive way of communicating seems to contribute to panic attacks while being frequently present in those that are afflicted with panic attacks."
And I really believe that this is the reason for my panic attacks...
In the past I have been intimidated and suffered greatly from inferiority. The Bible explains it like this:
There were 12 spies who went to spy out the land and their job was to bring back a good report. However, 10 spies came back and said, "we look like grasshoppers in their eyesight." --The story of the Children of Isreal going from Egypt to their promised land in Exodus.
If they were spies, then how did they look like grasshoppers to them? No one knows that a spy is around...they are incognito, but they were fearful, they had an spirit of inferiority.
This was me!!
As a matter of fact, just on last week I was invited, at the last minute, to a meeting to network with some Pastors for a project. I had just finished Zumba class and the Pastor that was inviting me told me that it would be okay to attend just the way that I was. He said that he was going in his gym clothes. So, I ran to my office, got my business cards and some flyers and headed out. When I walked into the room, immediately I panicked. Everyone was in business attired and it wasn't just Pastor/Clergy...there were professionals from the school district and other businesses.
Here I was representing the health department in gym clothes. Albeit, I had just finished working, but still..I needed to present myself better. After I panicked, I began to feel quite small.....and their eyes were on me when I walked in (I was a little late). I began to get mad at the Pastor for telling me to come like that, but instead I gathered myself and confidently sat and talked and ate. I wasn't totally confident, but I was enough to speak to and hug the superintendent and several others. THANK GOD!! I was able to cast down those thoughts of inferiority.
So, now I'm beginning to tread unchartered territory and there is a little trepediation, but I'm casting down fear, anxiety, panic, inferiority...because there is work for me to do!!! I can't die in the wilderness like the children of Isreal. Out of 2M adults, only 2 (Joshua & Caleb) were able to go into the promised land. I can't die on the way to my promised land!!! I refuse to die!!!
THANK GOD!!!! I'm not gonna die here!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Freedom starts in the Mind!!
There is an elephant inside each of us – an inspired being of enormous power and capability. And just like the elephants that we might see in a circus, our internal elephants are also put in chains.
How does this happen?
It starts when they’re babies…
Chaining an elephant isn’t as simple as just putting a chain around its leg – an adult elephant would snap that chain without even noticing the effort.
The way to chain an elephant is to start when it’s a baby. You don’t even need a chain – a strong rope will do.
The baby elephant will struggle, but eventually it will realize that it can’t break the rope, and even worse, continuing to struggle creates a painful burn on its leg. The baby elephant learns not to struggle – it accepts that the limit imposed by the rope or chain is permanent, and there is no use struggling against it.
Sure, the elephant grows up, and becomes the most powerful land mammal on the face of the earth. But the chains in its mind remain, and so the chains on its leg are never broken.
Read more: http://www.stevescottsite.com/how-to-chain-an-elephant#ixzz23a6cCuGu
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Write the Vision....
I'm learning to LIVE according to the word of God. There are times in my life when something will come up and immediately my mind will go to the scripture. I thank God for that because my life is defined (is being defined) by my relationship with God.
So, there have been some things that I've wanted to do.....
Rewind
When I graduated from undergrad school, I sat down and wrote my life. The Holy Spirit helped me to plan my life and I became a person who live by goals. However, I only wrote down until age 30 or so. I'm not sure why.....
As I approached 30 I wondered and wondered why I had only stopped at 30.
Well, since then I haven't made much of a plan because for a long time, I didn't know what to plan. I didn't know and I'm still a little unsure, but there are some things that I want to do...not simply because I want to do them, but because I want to give back what has been given to me. There is a scripture that says, "to whom much is given, much is required" and I've been given much, so it's required of me to give back. So, I'm gonna do like the word of God says in Habakkuk 2:2 and "write the vision..."
So, most of these things I want to do will be done through the NP I work for:
1. Establish a supplemental educational program that will assist all--young and old in improving their academic skills to go on to post-secondary education.
2. Establish a college and career program that includes job training and developmental programs to help individuals to succeed.
3. Establish a NP consulting group through MU (a SCNO project).
This one will be done through my job with the health department....
4. Establish a coalition of churches to partner with the local health department on health initiatives....
Hold a coalition lunch meeting once per quarter
5. Establish a partnership with the Coalition of Neighborhood Organizations to provide health information to members in the community. Hold a lunch meeting twice a year for partners.
In writing the vision, I'm also gonna be doing some planning.
So, there have been some things that I've wanted to do.....
Rewind
When I graduated from undergrad school, I sat down and wrote my life. The Holy Spirit helped me to plan my life and I became a person who live by goals. However, I only wrote down until age 30 or so. I'm not sure why.....
As I approached 30 I wondered and wondered why I had only stopped at 30.
Well, since then I haven't made much of a plan because for a long time, I didn't know what to plan. I didn't know and I'm still a little unsure, but there are some things that I want to do...not simply because I want to do them, but because I want to give back what has been given to me. There is a scripture that says, "to whom much is given, much is required" and I've been given much, so it's required of me to give back. So, I'm gonna do like the word of God says in Habakkuk 2:2 and "write the vision..."
So, most of these things I want to do will be done through the NP I work for:
1. Establish a supplemental educational program that will assist all--young and old in improving their academic skills to go on to post-secondary education.
2. Establish a college and career program that includes job training and developmental programs to help individuals to succeed.
3. Establish a NP consulting group through MU (a SCNO project).
This one will be done through my job with the health department....
4. Establish a coalition of churches to partner with the local health department on health initiatives....
Hold a coalition lunch meeting once per quarter
5. Establish a partnership with the Coalition of Neighborhood Organizations to provide health information to members in the community. Hold a lunch meeting twice a year for partners.
In writing the vision, I'm also gonna be doing some planning.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Don't You Hate That Feeling
I get it all the time.....
My stomach turns, my heart races, i'm nervous, panicky, it's like the blood in my body feels hot, my breathing is thick.....
I HATE THIS FEELING!! THIS ANXIETY!!!
I really want to cry right now because I HATE this feeling. I HATE WANTING TO DO, but NOT being able to....
I HATE IT!!!
To be continued....
My stomach turns, my heart races, i'm nervous, panicky, it's like the blood in my body feels hot, my breathing is thick.....
I HATE THIS FEELING!! THIS ANXIETY!!!
I really want to cry right now because I HATE this feeling. I HATE WANTING TO DO, but NOT being able to....
I HATE IT!!!
To be continued....
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The Journey Up: No REGRETS
Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62 NIV
In the wake of my recent circumstances, I have been looking back....looking back over my life--at the things that I've done, the mistakes that I've made, the decisions that I've made. This has caused me to regret certain decisions. I'm not even go detail what those decision are because really IT DOESN'T MATTER. Because there is no benefit to that.
Regret can be defined, according to Bing Dictionary....as,
So, I can't keep looking back....now that I think about it...this is why I was thinking about the movie Beloved. God was trying to show me that regret deals with not being able to let go of the past.
The Bible says in Luke 9:62 that you are not "fit" (able) to serve in the kingdom of God when you look back. I've embarked on a new journey...a new assignment in my life and I can't complete this assignment if I'm looking back. How can a person ploy a field while looking back...they can't. I CAN'T do what I NEED to do....HAVE to do and still look back. It's impossible!! So, I MUST..."forget those things that are behind...
In Phillipians 3 it says this:
12-14I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
15-16So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it. The Message Bible
In the wake of my recent circumstances, I have been looking back....looking back over my life--at the things that I've done, the mistakes that I've made, the decisions that I've made. This has caused me to regret certain decisions. I'm not even go detail what those decision are because really IT DOESN'T MATTER. Because there is no benefit to that.
Regret can be defined, according to Bing Dictionary....as,
- feel sorry for something: to feel sorry and sad about something previously done or said that now appears wrong, mistaken, or hurtful to others
- used politely when giving bad news: used as a polite expression of sorrow when making an apology or delivering a piece of bad or unwelcome news
- mourn for somebody or something: to feel sadness about something, or feel a sense of loss and longing for somebody or something that is no longer there
So, I can't keep looking back....now that I think about it...this is why I was thinking about the movie Beloved. God was trying to show me that regret deals with not being able to let go of the past.
The Bible says in Luke 9:62 that you are not "fit" (able) to serve in the kingdom of God when you look back. I've embarked on a new journey...a new assignment in my life and I can't complete this assignment if I'm looking back. How can a person ploy a field while looking back...they can't. I CAN'T do what I NEED to do....HAVE to do and still look back. It's impossible!! So, I MUST..."forget those things that are behind...
In Phillipians 3 it says this:
12-14I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
15-16So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it. The Message Bible
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
My Ovaries HURT--TMI
Thank God for ovary pain. I haven't seen aunt flow since April....ovary pain means ovulation which means that my reproductive organs are working properly....YAY!!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Let the Past DIE!!
I was thinking about the movie Beloved and sure enough a week later someone left a DVD in the staff lounge for anyone to have. I took it and watched it over the weekend. When I had watched it before (well after it debuted in 1998) I didn't fully get it. I didn't think it was a bad movie, I just didn't understand the full story. However, this weekend I "got it." Sethe couldn't let go of the past. She was haunted by her past...those spirits haunted her children. Then the past showed up one day and she welcomed it into her house...not realizing that it was her past. It was only when she realized that it was her past that it debilitated her. She couldn't keep up, it caused her to lose hope in life. Then, when concerned people came to "see about" her, her past disappeared and again, despite the hell that it took her through, she still couldn't let go. She said that her past was the "best thing." Not realizing that "she" was her "best thing."
I life people hold on to DEAD STUFF. The Bible says, "let the dead bury the dead...." Meaning that when stuff is dead, you GOT to let it go!! She kept her dead baby alive with all the guilt and shame that she went through. That's why it continued to haunt he and her family. Then, when the past materialized in the flesh, she wasn't able to recognize it as the past because she wanted it!
I don't know why I was thinking about this movie...I don't even know why it showed up in our staff break room, and I was even pondering on how this is relevant to me NOW. Of course there have been times when I've dealt with my past and I had struggled in letting stuff go....so I was searching within myself to see if there was anything left from my past that was haunting me....
Of course I'm dealing with some regrets, but is there something that I'm holding on to, something that is haunting me....
YES!!! And I don't want it to materialize in the flesh!!!! So, I've got to let it go!!!!
I received a FB message today that haunted me...it was from Mister. I didn't open it. I want to, but I DON'T WANT TO...this is one reason I don't frequent FB. I keep my page deactivated most of the time, but for some time I have to reactivate it for work.....
What do I do?? I don't want that part of my life to live. I want that part to stay dead!!!!
I life people hold on to DEAD STUFF. The Bible says, "let the dead bury the dead...." Meaning that when stuff is dead, you GOT to let it go!! She kept her dead baby alive with all the guilt and shame that she went through. That's why it continued to haunt he and her family. Then, when the past materialized in the flesh, she wasn't able to recognize it as the past because she wanted it!
I don't know why I was thinking about this movie...I don't even know why it showed up in our staff break room, and I was even pondering on how this is relevant to me NOW. Of course there have been times when I've dealt with my past and I had struggled in letting stuff go....so I was searching within myself to see if there was anything left from my past that was haunting me....
Of course I'm dealing with some regrets, but is there something that I'm holding on to, something that is haunting me....
YES!!! And I don't want it to materialize in the flesh!!!! So, I've got to let it go!!!!
I received a FB message today that haunted me...it was from Mister. I didn't open it. I want to, but I DON'T WANT TO...this is one reason I don't frequent FB. I keep my page deactivated most of the time, but for some time I have to reactivate it for work.....
What do I do?? I don't want that part of my life to live. I want that part to stay dead!!!!
Exploding Eggs & Bologna Cravings
I've been watching what I eat since I've been learning all I can about hormonal issues. Everything that I've read tells me to eliminate or lower the consumption of harmfully processed food. So far I've been doing well with that. Of course on occassion I will eat some cookies, potatoe chips, but for the most part 75% of my diet is not harmfully processed. I LOVE fruits and veggies, baked chicken, baked fish, oatmeal, boiled eggs, etc.
But, all last week I was craving bologna and bread. So, I went to Kroger and got a pack of turkey bologna and some cheese. I left the bologna and cheese out on Friday so that it was room temperature and I almost at the whole pack this weekend. UGH!! That was way too much bologna to eat at one time, but I ate it and it was good. I surely notice a different when I go to the bathroom. LOL. Then, this morning I got up to get ready for work. I wanted some boiled eggs for breakfast, but I forgot to put them on in time. So, I grabbed them off the stove half done and figured I'd finish cooking them at work. I had it all planned in my head--fill a bowl with water, put the eggs in the water and put them in the microwave. This is what I did and fifteen minutes later, I took the eggs out, ran cold water over them and began to crack and peel and just as I was peeling .... BOOF....egg exploded ALL OVER THE PLACE. There was egg in my hair, down my arms, on the wall, on the trash can, EVERYWHERE!! My hands was burned from holding the egg when it exploded and I was frantically trying to get everything cleaned up before someone came into the staff lounge. It was funny, but embarrassing at the same time. I wish I had pictures. How was I supposed to know you couldn't boil an egg in the microwave in the shell??
I found out that steam builds up in the shell so that's why it explodes.
But, all last week I was craving bologna and bread. So, I went to Kroger and got a pack of turkey bologna and some cheese. I left the bologna and cheese out on Friday so that it was room temperature and I almost at the whole pack this weekend. UGH!! That was way too much bologna to eat at one time, but I ate it and it was good. I surely notice a different when I go to the bathroom. LOL. Then, this morning I got up to get ready for work. I wanted some boiled eggs for breakfast, but I forgot to put them on in time. So, I grabbed them off the stove half done and figured I'd finish cooking them at work. I had it all planned in my head--fill a bowl with water, put the eggs in the water and put them in the microwave. This is what I did and fifteen minutes later, I took the eggs out, ran cold water over them and began to crack and peel and just as I was peeling .... BOOF....egg exploded ALL OVER THE PLACE. There was egg in my hair, down my arms, on the wall, on the trash can, EVERYWHERE!! My hands was burned from holding the egg when it exploded and I was frantically trying to get everything cleaned up before someone came into the staff lounge. It was funny, but embarrassing at the same time. I wish I had pictures. How was I supposed to know you couldn't boil an egg in the microwave in the shell??
I found out that steam builds up in the shell so that's why it explodes.
400th Post
WOW!
I never would have imagine having 400 post in a journal about me being homeless. Boy, how life turns....
I was thinking about high school and how in high school many young people have the grandest plans. No one plans to be homeless....
I used to teach a health class and I would tell my students all the time, "No one plans to be a drug addict...." I taught a lot about prevention and I was explaining that the wrong choices lead to these lifestyles--these lifestyles are planned....it's no one's choice!!
Now, I'm saying that same thing about homelessness. No one plans this!!
At the same end of the spectrum, you have to plan NOT TO BE________________!! If you don't, you may end up _______________________!!
I never would have imagine having 400 post in a journal about me being homeless. Boy, how life turns....
I was thinking about high school and how in high school many young people have the grandest plans. No one plans to be homeless....
I used to teach a health class and I would tell my students all the time, "No one plans to be a drug addict...." I taught a lot about prevention and I was explaining that the wrong choices lead to these lifestyles--these lifestyles are planned....it's no one's choice!!
Now, I'm saying that same thing about homelessness. No one plans this!!
At the same end of the spectrum, you have to plan NOT TO BE________________!! If you don't, you may end up _______________________!!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Test Results
I'm so tired!!
I've been having a hard time resting at night. I can't sleep!!
Normally, I don't sleept while watching TV, but if I don't have some show on hulu on, my brain just goes and goes and goes and I toss and turn all night. I even experience anxiety while I'm trying to sleep. It's horrible.
I say all that because I got my test results from my thyroid test. The doctor ran 4 test:
TSH--normal
T4--normal
TPI--normal (I think it's called TPI)
TPO--HIGH, HIGH, HIGH
The normal range for TPO is 0-34. My levels were 263.
Despite this the doctor said I was fine. WHAT?????
So, I began my research again and found that TPO test for an autoimmune disease--Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Symptoms include fatigue and insomnia. Why did the doctor say I was fine? Well, I've been finding that when the disorder is autoimmune it deals alot with how your immune system affects your body, so that means that the immune system needs to be improved and some the causes of a compromised immune system include improper diet, lack of sleep, chronic stress....Once you change your lifestyle to eat properly, get enough sleep and eliminate chronic stress then the immune system can be improved which can lower the autoimmune disorder. So, doctors don't prescribe medication. However, this particular autoimmune disease can cause hypothyroidism which causes all the symptoms--fatigue, weight gain, infertility etc.
All of this information made me even more frustrated....UGH!! How is it that doctors have the ability to make you more sick?
So, I decided to make an appt with my GP to show her the results to see if I can do something about this insomnia. I can't go on like this. Last year my GP did prescribe a low dosage of hormone and that helped me a LOT....so I'm gonna see if she can do that again this year.
I've been having a hard time resting at night. I can't sleep!!
Normally, I don't sleept while watching TV, but if I don't have some show on hulu on, my brain just goes and goes and goes and I toss and turn all night. I even experience anxiety while I'm trying to sleep. It's horrible.
I say all that because I got my test results from my thyroid test. The doctor ran 4 test:
TSH--normal
T4--normal
TPI--normal (I think it's called TPI)
TPO--HIGH, HIGH, HIGH
The normal range for TPO is 0-34. My levels were 263.
Despite this the doctor said I was fine. WHAT?????
So, I began my research again and found that TPO test for an autoimmune disease--Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Symptoms include fatigue and insomnia. Why did the doctor say I was fine? Well, I've been finding that when the disorder is autoimmune it deals alot with how your immune system affects your body, so that means that the immune system needs to be improved and some the causes of a compromised immune system include improper diet, lack of sleep, chronic stress....Once you change your lifestyle to eat properly, get enough sleep and eliminate chronic stress then the immune system can be improved which can lower the autoimmune disorder. So, doctors don't prescribe medication. However, this particular autoimmune disease can cause hypothyroidism which causes all the symptoms--fatigue, weight gain, infertility etc.
All of this information made me even more frustrated....UGH!! How is it that doctors have the ability to make you more sick?
So, I decided to make an appt with my GP to show her the results to see if I can do something about this insomnia. I can't go on like this. Last year my GP did prescribe a low dosage of hormone and that helped me a LOT....so I'm gonna see if she can do that again this year.
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