Sunday, November 13, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Long time, no post
There has been a lot going on, but I haven't been posting because ....well, there's a lot going on.
My sister moved in with me, then moved out. Well, sort of moved out. She called me one week and said that she hadn't been able to find a job in Ohio and that if she doesn't find something soon, she wanted to know if she could come stay with me...
Then a week later she called me to say she and her husband was on the highway coming my way. I let them stay for about 2 weeks and then I believe they got a room at the motel for a few weeks. Last week they came to get their things because they found a place to live. I'm happy for them.
I'm still teaching GED. I love it!!!! My students inspire me!!!!
I've been holding on to my faith. It's been difficult. I got pretty lazy as far as reading my Bible and praying. I really don't know what was going on, but it was like I was stuck in the mud. The spirit was no where to be found, not in me, not around me, no where. I HATED not feeling the spirit of God. I HATE IT!!! I need God EVERYDAY and when I can't feel it feels like I'm lost. Like my lover has left me. So for a while, I was in that lonely state. Not lonely as in I need a man, but lonely as in empty. It was on Sunday that I felt a breakthrough. However, on yesterday I slipped up a little....
Let me back up....
I was at the Y on Saturday morning and as I was walking in someone was calling out to me. I just said, "Hey" and kept going, but the person kept talking. So I turned and saw "Coach." He was trying to talk to me from his car, but I wasn't going to run up to his, so I stood there. He finally got the picture and got out the car. We exchanged numbers. We called me on Sunday morning and after church I went to his house. He had a house full of people. I left shortly after and later that night he texted me, "I'm hungry". WHAT? is what I was thinking!! I took the bait and asked him what he wanted to eat. He came over to eat. We had a good conversation and it was about God and life. I hid my TV so that forced us to talk which was not hard because he talks a lot. After dinner he went to get his Connect 4 game and we played for about an hour. He beat me badly, but it was fun. He asked me if he could hug me, I told him "NO." I wasn't that I didn't want to hug him, I just didn't want to be that close to him. Coach is a man that I've been attracted to for a long time and I didn't want my flesh to mess up the blessing that I got from church that morning.
He told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him that I didn't know if that's what I wanted.
He's a wonderful man, I just need him to be a man of God! I need a man that prays and loves God!! He doesn't like my church and I refuse to leave me church to go to his, so we have a problem. Well, I haven't really talked to him since then. He's pretty preoccupied. I'm not sure how many children he has, but I think I counted 6. That's a lot of children. So, I know he stays busy at home.
I just don't want to jump into anything. I want to take my time and get to know a person.
Anyway at church on last night, I made a mistake and didn't go up for prayer. They called for anyone who doesn't speak in tongues. I didn't go up. I was embarrassed. Stupid pride!! I was also upset over something petty. It was horrible. When I got home from church I was horrified. I was so upset that I didn't go up for prayer. I need to spirit of God in my life. I can't live without the spirit of God. It makes me want to SHOUT.
My sister moved in with me, then moved out. Well, sort of moved out. She called me one week and said that she hadn't been able to find a job in Ohio and that if she doesn't find something soon, she wanted to know if she could come stay with me...
Then a week later she called me to say she and her husband was on the highway coming my way. I let them stay for about 2 weeks and then I believe they got a room at the motel for a few weeks. Last week they came to get their things because they found a place to live. I'm happy for them.
I'm still teaching GED. I love it!!!! My students inspire me!!!!
I've been holding on to my faith. It's been difficult. I got pretty lazy as far as reading my Bible and praying. I really don't know what was going on, but it was like I was stuck in the mud. The spirit was no where to be found, not in me, not around me, no where. I HATED not feeling the spirit of God. I HATE IT!!! I need God EVERYDAY and when I can't feel it feels like I'm lost. Like my lover has left me. So for a while, I was in that lonely state. Not lonely as in I need a man, but lonely as in empty. It was on Sunday that I felt a breakthrough. However, on yesterday I slipped up a little....
Let me back up....
I was at the Y on Saturday morning and as I was walking in someone was calling out to me. I just said, "Hey" and kept going, but the person kept talking. So I turned and saw "Coach." He was trying to talk to me from his car, but I wasn't going to run up to his, so I stood there. He finally got the picture and got out the car. We exchanged numbers. We called me on Sunday morning and after church I went to his house. He had a house full of people. I left shortly after and later that night he texted me, "I'm hungry". WHAT? is what I was thinking!! I took the bait and asked him what he wanted to eat. He came over to eat. We had a good conversation and it was about God and life. I hid my TV so that forced us to talk which was not hard because he talks a lot. After dinner he went to get his Connect 4 game and we played for about an hour. He beat me badly, but it was fun. He asked me if he could hug me, I told him "NO." I wasn't that I didn't want to hug him, I just didn't want to be that close to him. Coach is a man that I've been attracted to for a long time and I didn't want my flesh to mess up the blessing that I got from church that morning.
He told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him that I didn't know if that's what I wanted.
He's a wonderful man, I just need him to be a man of God! I need a man that prays and loves God!! He doesn't like my church and I refuse to leave me church to go to his, so we have a problem. Well, I haven't really talked to him since then. He's pretty preoccupied. I'm not sure how many children he has, but I think I counted 6. That's a lot of children. So, I know he stays busy at home.
I just don't want to jump into anything. I want to take my time and get to know a person.
Anyway at church on last night, I made a mistake and didn't go up for prayer. They called for anyone who doesn't speak in tongues. I didn't go up. I was embarrassed. Stupid pride!! I was also upset over something petty. It was horrible. When I got home from church I was horrified. I was so upset that I didn't go up for prayer. I need to spirit of God in my life. I can't live without the spirit of God. It makes me want to SHOUT.
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