Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

I fantasize a lot. I mean I live in fantasy land. And I'm okay with that. It keeps me occupied. Plus, it helps me to stay positive. My fantasies are me thinking about my positive life. But the problem is that everything I'm visualizing what I want for my life, it happens to someone else.

I've been visualizing me in my new home. I even visualized me calling my mom to tell her the big news and on the other day I was calling my mom to tell her the good news--my sister's good news.

This has happened to me over and over.

A few years ago I was visualizing about my student loan being forgiven.  A few weeks later my friend called me to tell me that her student loan had been forgiven.

In 2009 I kept visualizing me getting married. I felt it in the air. And that year my good friend got married.

It's never me. And I don't know why?

Why does that happen?

**Update**

I just remember another instance where this happened.

A few years ago I was planning an activity for the youth that I work with that involves a starting a business.  As I was fantasizing about it and making mental plans, I heard on the radio another group was doing it. AAAGGGGHHHH.

Then a few years ago I was trying to figure out how to create a children and family advocacy program. Not long after that another program started it.

Why or why does this happen??

Going Thru Just to Get Thru

I'm in a funk....

I've been telling everyone not to be led by your emotions. I've been saying it and saying it and now I'm in a funk and I'm on the verge of being emotional. I've got to be led by my spirit and not my emotions.

But, I'm just in a funk and I've got to go through this so that I can get through it and I will. By the grace of God. This too shall pass!!

Thank God!!

Was it a Test or a Trick?

I failed... When I found out that my sister had bought a house...there was a spirit that came over me and I was upset because God has delivered me from jealousy, but that spirit was rising up in addition to the spirit of sadness and I was asking God to help me because I wanted to be happy for her. All of this caused me to be emotional and I failed. Then the next day, the spirit of joy came over me. I was so happy for my sister. I called her and I screamed and shouted with her. I was ecstatic for her. Not just because she bought a house, but because she paid CASH for her house!!! So, she closes in 14 days. I told her that I'm coming to Ohio to help her pack. I was SO HAPPY for her!! Then I started to think....why did that spirit come over me? And I began to feel tricked. The enemy tricked me. And I failed. I was mad. Then I started to think...was it a trick or a test? Sometimes God tests you. So, was it a test or a trick. Either way, I failed and I"m so mad because I have to take that test over. UGH!! But, I'm glad that now I know...so I'll be ready next time!!

I Can't Sleep

I've never been one to take drugs--any kind. But I'm thinking about buying some Nyquil. I am exhausted and I can't sleep.  My mind is just going and going and going...

And I have to get on the road today to drive for about 45 miles.  OMG!

Help me Lord!!

Buying a House Warming Gift

I just found out that my sister just bought a house. I must admit, I'm a little sad, but I'm happy for her!! You know the feeling, when you wish it was you. But, I'm not gonna have the feeling long. It's gonna be me next. Thank God for my sis!!!

I have to buy her a really nice house warming gift!!

Up....Down....and then Up Again

I was sad about the news about my housing situation. And a little lost. I didn't want to get emotional so I kept it together. Thank God!!  But, I did end up staying up WAY too late finishing the Scandal marathon. I just didn't want to have to think about my situation, so instead of eating myself into a tizzy or doing some foolishness to make myself feel better, I watched Scandal. Then I got up WAY too early this morning and before going to work I stopped by the dentist to pay my bill.

The receptionist informed me that the insurance company will indeed pay the claim.  Thank God!! That's $250 I don't have to pay.

Then I stopped by my Gyn with the intent of pay the bill from October 2012.  I was so elated that the guy was going to right it off.  THANK GOD again!!!

So, that is $325 in bills I don't have to pay.

So now my bills are:

$450--dr bill from 2011
$1600--tuition
$10--ticket

A total of $2060. I have about $1000 in the bank. I'm going to get this tuition bill out the way. Then I will take care of the rest.

Thank God.

But I kind of slipped today.  I was high and then my mind brought me right back down. I couldn't really thank God enough for His blessing because I was still concerned about where I am going to live, so I let my mind wonder and I slipped.

But, I'm not staying down. God is too good to me. I'm getting back in line and I'm moving forward. The Lord knows I still need a place to stay, so I'm still trusting in Him.

Bills I Have to Pay

1.  Gyn=$75--I have no idea how they can bill me for services rendered a year and a half ago, but yep, I have this bill.
2.  Dentist-$250--My stupid insurance is not paying and I have to fight with them.
3.  Old dr bills--$450--I have to pay this bill from 2011 when I didn't have insurance. I know I know it's late, but I've got to pay it and I'm going to pay it now.
4.  Tuition--$1600--I have to pay $1600 for one class.
5.  Ticket--$10--I have a $10 ticket from 2010 and I have no idea how to pay it. It's in collections, but I dont't know how to contact them.

So my total bills=$2385 or around that amount. I say that because I think my old dr's bill is a little more or a little less.

I have about $1000 in the bank and I will be getting paid soon, so I need to get this paid for ASAP. Since I'm not buying a home I need to pay these bills.

And I need to get my car fixed....

The Journey Continues....

I'm a little teary eyed. I need a credit score of 640 to prequalify for a loan. My score is 636. So the bank won't approve me. The loan officer told me that in the next three months she would check my score again and that should do it.

Now I have to find a place to live.

I'm almost having flash backs. Not really flashbacks, but I'm remembering the last time I was evicted. I was penniless and had to live in my car.

Now I have a job, but my credit score is not good and I know that there a places here that won't rent to me if my credit is not good enough for them. Plus, I wanna save up my money to be able to buy a home so if I'm spending $800 a month on rent and utilities, then that's money that could be going for me to buy a home.

I don't like this dilemma I'm in.

Lord, I need to know what to do.  Lead me, guide me....

He Did it Before....

I needed a spring jacket. I looked and looked. I had a price range...I didn't want to spend more than $20 and I wanted something nice. I searched and searched. I wanted a certain jacket, but that one I wanted cost too much. But, I'm okay with that. I continued to search. And....I found it. At Burlington.

I got to Burlington and I looked and looked and looked. I was about to leave and then I found it.  It was there, but somehow I missed it. And...it was $19.99.

The perfect jacket.

God did that. He knew I had a need and a desire. And He did it.

So, He did it before, He'll do it again!!

I've been looking for a house. I've applied for a loan. I needed a jacket and I wanted a jacket and now I need a house.  God did it before, He'll do it again!!

I am NOT Crazy

I found my printer. THANK GOD!!!!!!  I hid it from myself and I thought someone took it when they came into my apartment the other day. OMG. I was worried. I mean I had my notebook that I use to write all my reports in and my boss told me that Internal Affairs was going to have to be called. I was horrified!!!

But, I prayed and I thank God that it is found!!

Now I've got to pack and get out of here!!!

I can't wait to leave here. I'm so tired of hiding my stuff!!

Psalms 25

1 Unto You, O Lord, do I bring my life.

2 O my God, I trust, lean on, rely on, and am confident in You. Let me not be put to shame or [my hope in You] be disappointed; let not my enemies triumph over me.

3 Yes, let none who trust and wait hopefully and look for You be put to shame or be disappointed; let them be ashamed who forsake the right or deal treacherously without cause.

4 Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.

5 Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.

6 Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercy and loving-kindness; for they have been ever from of old.

7 Remember not the sins (the lapses and frailties) of my youth or my transgressions; according to Your mercy and steadfast love remember me, for Your goodness’ sake, O Lord.

The Home Buying Journey and I am NOT Crazy

I have not heard back from the bank so I called the bank listed on the website. The woman called me back and set up and appointment to meet for today.  I had a laundry list of things to bring in. OMG. It was almost as bad as the extensive background check I had to go through for my job. I was nervous when she pulled up my credit. She circled some things on the paper. Oh boy, I was sweating on the inside. I glanced at my scores--638 from trans union. Not sure if that's enough....

She then asked me for my contract here as a building manager. She said I needed something showing that I've paid rent for 12 months, but since I don't pay rent, I need to have the contract. And that's where we left it. I'm not gonna say I'm a nervous wreck because I'm not. I'm just hopeful. I KNOW that it would be cheaper for my to buy a house than rent, so that's what I want to do. I'm going to trust God.  I've been looking at some other homes.

I like this one best. It's small, but in a really nice neighborhood and the photos look good. I haven't gone inside.

They are asking $42,000. I can live with that.

I also like this one. It's a little bigger and has a basement, but I'm not crazy about the neighborhood.

How Does This Happen?

Last year in November I happen to stop by the church. I had the keys and I needed to get in to get a camera. I pulled up and there was a moving van there and one of the brothers from the church. He was on the phone.  He was happy to see me.  He was coordinating a concert and the equipment people where there waiting to get in. He couldn't get ahold of the person with the keys and I just happen to be there, so of course I let him in. They were waiting at the door.

Well the brother needed to get back to work so he asked if I could hang around while the guys moved the rest of the equipment in. I told him I would. No problem....

BIG PROBLEM!!

The equipment guys weren't supposed to be there until 6pm according to the contract. So, they were there outside the time of the contract which is supposedly a insurance liability and I was the one who let them in.

So there was a meeting.

Me, my boss (the guy over the media production whom I was coming to pick the camera up from), the admin office and the brother who was coordinating the concert along with his wife.  It was a big deal and I just set there listening.  They were saying that the contract was breached and there could have been a problem.  There was a little back and forth and I just sat there.  We got to the end of the meeting and they asked me if I had any questions/comments. I simply said, "I was just coming to pick up a camera."

And that helped everyone understand.

The admin office was assuming that I was the one called to let them in. No. I just happened to show up. It wasn't an intentional breach of contract. They equipment people came early and I just happened to pull up to get the camera.

That satisfied the admin office.

I was a little bothered that I was caught in this, this....thing. I mean from where I sat, it wasn't a big deal and really it wasn't, but it was made to be this big deal and I was in the middle of it.

I hate to be in the middle of misunderstandings. I guess if they simply asked me there would not have been a need to have a meeting or at least I wouldn't have needed to be there.

Well, that was in November.

I got a call from one of the sisters from church. She wasn't going to be at church today. She gave me the key and asked me to unlock the cabinet so that the greeters could get in. I agreed and unlocked the cabinet and took the lock with me. When church was over, I locked it back right before I left.

I got a call around 6:30pm and I called the sister back. She asked me what time I locked the cabinet. I explained that I left right after 1pm and I locked the cabinet right before I left. Well, she got a message that at 2:40pm the cabinet was not locked.

WHAT?

I know I'm not crazy, but I know I put the lock back on there and I locked it.

Here we go again is what I thought....I hope there is not another meeting.

Thank God for Insurance

I've been gone for work all day. I left this morning around 7:40 am to do laundry. I came back briefly to shower around 10:15am. I grabbed a juice out the fridge and an orange from the fruit basket and I was out the door. I knew I was going to be working in Galesburg so I didn't want to have to come back home even though there were a few things I forgot, but I should have come back home.....

I got to Galesburg around 1:30pm. I worked and worked and left there around 6pm. I walked into my apartment at 8:15pm and it was HOT!!!  I didn't think it was that hot outside for it to be burning up in this place.  I checked on my fish because she only likes certain temperatures.  Her water was over 80 degrees. I looked at the thermostat and it said 91 degrees.  Why is it so hot? I thought. The temperature outside has been about 55 all day. I went into the kitchen and the stove was on.

WHAT???

How did the stove get turned on?

I didn't touch the stove this morning. And the only way that it would be on is if someone physically turned the stove on. I didn't touch the stove AT ALL this morning. Why would it be on?  And it's not like I accidentally turned it on. In order to turn the stove on, you must push the knob in and then turn, so that wasn't an accident.

I sent an email to my boss and she called me and told me that no one was in my apartment, but she would contact the property manager to see if they were in there...She agreed that it was strange that someone would do that....

My fruit was burning. You can't really tell from the picture, but bottom half of the grapefruit is burned and it is actually darker than that.

I Scored 602

I got my credit score in the mail today. It came from one of the banks that I applied to for a home loan. It wasn't a denial letter, just a letter stating that I've applied for a loan and it included my credit score from two of the credit bureas.  Once bureau was 598 and the other was 602.  I know that's not good, but I've been told (or I've read) that banks have given loans to people with a credit score of 600. It was said that they required 20% down, but the loan was approved.  So I am hopeful.

I haven't heard anything from one bank and there is another bank that I am contacing who is working with the Illinois first time home buyer programs.  I really do need the $7500 credit that will help with a down payment.  I have some money in the bank, but I have a few large bills and my car is acting up.  I need to take it to the shop. So the $2000 I have in the bank will not go very far. I'm trying to hold on to it as long as I can.

I have faith in God.

And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. --Phillipians 4:19

I Didn't Feel Anything....WHY?

I was at the library, must chilling, minding my business and doing some work.  I looked at and across the room was Coach. He was sitting on the sofa. OMG is what I thought, then I jumped up because I didn't have any make up on. I grapped my makeup bag and had no where to go....the bathroom was across the hall and I didn't have a mirror in my makeup bag.

What to do....

So I just sat back down and sure enough he looked over at me....I looked back and quickly went back to work.

UGH.....

Not now is what I was thinking. Not just because I didn't have any makeup on, but also because I made this committment to fast for the next 10 days.  And when I fast, I don't need any distractions.

My phone rang and as I was talking I looked up and there he was...stand right in front of me.

Dang.....

I hung up my call and we briefly chatted. He reached out to hug me and I got up and gave him a nice squeeze.

Oh....I miss nice squeezes!!!

I sat back down. He almost called me his boo....I didn't say anything. I asked about the children. He told me he was back in school....

Then he left.

And I felt nothing. NOTHING. Kind of like this, but I was sure that I would be feeling like this.

But, no, there was nothing!

Why was there nothing?  Not that I'm complaining, I mean this is not a good time, but really....NOTHING??

I can only thank God.  There is nothing there for him. Nothing in my spirit for him. Thank God for freeing me!!!!

That door is SHUT!!!

The Lock is Broken

God loves me and I LOVE Him so much!!!!

I had a dream last night and in the dream I woke up in the middle of the night and my front door was wide open. Not only was the door wide open, it was dark in the hallway so I couldn't see and there was someone out in the hallway. I thought it was my neighbor, but I wasn't sure because it was dark.  

I went to close the door, but it wouldn't latch.  I closed it and simply pulled the knob and it opened back up. I tried to slam the door so that the latch would catch, but nothing. The door would not stay closed.  Anyone could walk right into my apartment and this scared me.

The fear woke me up.

And I didn't understand the dream. I wondered and wondered about it.

Usually when I dream the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me something. So I prayed this morning and asked what the dream meant.

The Holy Spirit showed me that the door to my past is wide open again and whenever a door is open anything can come in--ANYTHING!! and at that late at night, in the dark, nothing good will come in only bad things happen in the dark that late at night.  He was showing me that even though I was trying to close the door, it wasn't closing.  So the Holy Spirit said to me that I have to change the lock. The lock is broken.....

So, I've been fasting and I will continue to fast, but the enemy comes to me at night, in the dark. He comes to me in my dreams in the times when I'm half sleep and half awake and my defenses are down, so in addition to my fasting I need to have the word of God playing at night so that it can get into my dreams, into my spirit as I'm falling asleep.  

Thank God for that revelation!!

I thank God that He hasn't given up on me!! 

Someone is Always Watching!!

I had a dream last night....

In the dream I was working at Wal-mart as a cashier. No one was in my aisle, so I went to the end and yelled, "No waiting on aisle...." and as I yelled that I saw a woman come up to my aisle and I walked up to wait on her and then another cashier beat me to the register to check her out.

HUH?

Is what I was thinking, then I looked up and I was in the wrong aisle so I looked over at my aisle and there was a man waiting for me. I began to check him out and he had a bunch of newborn baby stuff--shoes, bibs, socks....There was little baby boy and little baby girl stuff. I check everything out and then he had these salt water taffys--pink and blue. I assumed that he just as a baby boy and a baby girl. He then mentioned it to someone, but I continued to check him out. But the taffys didn't have a bar code on them and that was the only thing I needed to finish ringing up the taffys and a package of twislers. I counted them all and started to ring them up manually, but the computer wouldn't take them, plus I didn't know the price. I was having a hard time and finally the man said, to not worry about it because he didn't need them anyway. I said ok and totaled his items. He was giving me the money and I took the taffys--there were 13 and the twizlers and I put them in the bag. After I did that, my dream shifted...

I was looking at some video camera monitors and the monitors were watching me. Apparently the bagging section was weighted and since I didn't ring up the candy, but still put it in the bag, the cameras were notified that there was a discrepency between what I rang up and the weight of the bags and the cameras were watching and looking at the transactions to see if they could identify the discrepency. I woke up....

This reminded me that as I'm working from home, I need to make sure that I do things right. Even though I thought it was no big deal because the candy was minor, someone is always watching. I have to make sure that my timesheets are correct and make sure that I am honest in everything I do because someone is watching!!!

I also had a dream that I was working at the health department again and my boss was my boss and we were doing my paperwork....

Hmmmmm.....God, I don't want to go back there. I want to stay where I am!!! In Jesus name,Amen!!!

My Desire

I was invited to attend an event at the state capital and at first I wasn't going to go because I really didn't feel like being bothered with the people who were going to be there, but I was encouraged to go. But in preparing to go I needed something to wear. I knew that everyone would be wearing suits and dresses, but my one suit is not clean and because of my lacksidaisicalness I didn't have anything in my closet to wear. So I went to the mall with the intent of finding something nice and business casual.  I found these really nice slacks at Kohls and they were on $20. My type of price.  Then I found a $6 blouse that was beautiful with gold trim around the neck and sleeves.  I knew I didn't have any shoes to wear so I needed some gold shoes and sure enough I went to TJ Maxx and found gold shoes.  OMG. I found everything I desired along with a new bra and underwear.

I went to the event and surely everyone was in suits and dresses, but then I went to the room where the meeting was held and there were some people who were confidently wearing jeans. I become more confident.  I was already confident because it takes confidence to wear these shoes with navy pinstripe pants and a plum and gold blouse:

So I was confident and became more so when I saw the people in jeans.

I was thinking about that. I simply had a desire and God gave me what I desired! And I thank Him for that. I started thinking about that as it relates to my home buying journey...

I have a desire to own a home that is affordable and is for me. The slacks, blouse, and shoes were right for me.

So, I thank God for my new home at the right price!!!

Standing on the Word of the Lord

As I'm going through this process to find a home I want to do things according to the word of the Lord.  And I found this scripture:

Isaiah 32:18 (ESV)--My people will abide in peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.  

And that is exactly what I want.  Where I live now is NOT peaceful at all.  It's not quiet and with all the drug deals going down, it's not secure. 

So, I pray for my peaceful habitation, my secure dwelling and my quiet resting place. In Jesus name, Amen.  

Hope Not to be Ashamed

I have faith in God. Not only do I have faith in God, I believe God and I believe His word. And my belief is not in myself and what I can do because there is nothing I can do in my own strength.

So, I'm searching for a house and at first, I was mulling around and telling God that I don't want to go through this. I don't want to go through the process with the bank and wondering if they are going to reject me, I don't want to LOOK for a house because what I want and what I can afford may be to different things. I was telling God that this is a problem that I DON'T want to have. But, I have a new perspective.

I AM A PROBLEM SOLVER!!

When God created the heavens and the earth, He did it because there was a problem.  The Bible says that the earth was void--a big ball of nothingness.  So, God solved it by speaking everything He said was.

David was a problem solver.

When he saw that Goliath was mocking God and His people, he knew that he could solve that problem. He had done it before.

So I'm facing a problem.

I NEED a house that I can call HOME!!

God has sent me here to this city and I am going to be here until He says otherwise and I CAN'T continue to live where I'm living.

So my prayer is that God show me favor with the bankers so that I can get the house that He has for me. Now, the other prayer that I have is that the will of God be done in my life.  If this is His will, I declare that is is done here on earth as it is in heaven.

And I call forth the dreams that God has shown me to come to pass, in JESUS name!!

I dreamed that I was holding a little yellow baby boy, so I thank God for my promise. Along with that little boy comes a husband cause I can't have a baby alone!! So, I thank God for my man of God, the priest of my home!! In Jesus name, Amen!!

The Journey to Home Ownership

I got an email from the bank this morning.  My stomach is in knots.  Basically, I have a freeze on my credit report and they told me they can't see my past debts without verifying my complete report.  They already have information about my student loan, but they can't see the rest of the report.  So, I'm calling the credit reporters to have the freeze removed.  This is interesting because the freeze has been on my report for almost 10 years and I didn't have to go through this when I got my car loan.

The lady told me that because of my credit score I need to be able to put 20% down as a payment.  She asked where the money would be coming from.  I emailed her back to ask about the first time home buyer program.  She hasn't contacted me back....

I don't want this to make me nervous or doubtful.  OMG.

**Update**

I have been on the phone for almost an hour trying to talk to the people at the credit bureaus. This is grueling. One automated system after an another.  It took forever to find a live person to talk to and when I got a live person at one of the companies she transferred me to someone who had a vmail. I had to leave a message. Now I'm on the phone with another credit bureau....it's been 10 minutes so far.  Wow!!

House Hunting

I went to see the other house.....Well, I didn't go in, I just looked through the windows. And it was really nice. Small, but nice. I can deal with small and it has a basement, but no central air conditioner. But, I can live with that. I'm not sure how long it takes for a bank to preapprove a person for a home loan, but I'm anxious now. I'm not sure if the realtor will want to show it too me without a preapproval from the bank.

The realtor told me about the first time home buyer credit and I hope I qualify for it.

Human Nature Doesn't Have Faith

"Our human nature is incapable of generating faith on it's own.....it becomes susceptible to its environment... it can become a victim of the spoken words in it's atmosphere..." AWR.

It's human nature to be negative--to think the worst.  You know the saying, "expect the worst, hope for the best."

Why expect the worst?

Why can't we expect the BEST?  That's what God wants for us!! The BEST!!  Don't you want the BEST for your children?

It's takes a supernatural God to change our thinking from being negative.

I applied for a home loan with my bank and as I was applying I had to fight the negativity. I mean, I just paid my past collections debt this past December. My initial thoughts where, why would they give me a loan when they see my credit report?  But, I was hopeful and I applied anyway.

But, I got some faith at church today--Faith comes from hearing the word of God!!

God knows I need a place to live and it's beneficial to own instead of rent, so why can't God favor me?  He can and He WILL.

So, I thank God for my favor as the bankers look at my application. I thank God that I find the RIGHT house in the RIGHT neighborhood and it won't be a financial stress or stain on me and that I will continue to be a blessing to those that need!!

I went to see the house and I so wish that it was a house for me, but it was terrible. Not TERRIBLE terrible, it just needed a LOT of TLC and I don't have the time or energy to work on it. I'm going to continue to look.

There are two others I want to see...

 

Home Ownership

Thank God for my new mindset!!  I think with the mind of Christ!!

As I was thinking about moving, I've been looking for a new place to live and the rent for some of these places are HIGH, so I started looking at homes to for sale.

I found a really nice home that was really affordable and it is apart of the Freddie Mac program. I'm not sure what all that entails, but it looks like its for first time home buyers. I'm going to see it tomorrow. It is in a NICE neighborhood--BY THE LAKE!!  I have said often that I want a home by the lake. I meet with the Realtor tomorrow to see it. From the website, it said that there are no appliances, that means that I would need to purchase my own refrigerator and stove, but I can manage that.  Especially with the cost of the home.  It's a small home, only 4 rooms, but it is a start....I hope it's nice because I am not in the mood to look at home after home. And I pray to God for financing.  As much as I want to be 100% debt free, it just makes sense that if I'm going to pay rent, I might as well be paying a mortgage so that I can own what I'm paying for. Here is a pic:

I AM MOVING!!!

Ok, the truth is, I am fired, but I didn't want that to be my heading.

Yes, I am getting the boot because I spend too much time working and not enough time cleaning.  I have gotten WAY better, just not up to standards and I don't want to fight it. Even though my boss TOLD me that I would be getting the dates of all inspections. I have gotten no such thing AT ALL, but it's time to move.

I've been in this transition for a long time and I'm coming up on my anniversary of my new job with a 2% raise and I have a whole new outlook on life. And I am ready.

I was just complaining about all the marijuana smoke and the noise the other day.  Now I can find a place that is quiet and I don't have to deal with neighbors who have drug issues.  I'm happy and sad at the same time.  I mean, I want to be 100% DEBT FREE, but it's also time for me to move on it my life.  I am grateful that I have been able to stay here this long.

I pray that I can find a place that is nice, quiet, and affordable!!

I wish this could be me moving because I"m getting married, but oh well, I'll leave that up to God!!!

Out With the Old....

It is spring time...a GREAT time to get rid of all of the OLD stuff.  The Bible says, old things are passed away and all things have become new. 

I am a NEW creature in Christ. And last night was transformation for me. I learned that in order for the children of Israel to cross over Jordan into their promised land, they had to become circumcisized.  They had to cut away all of the old ideas and mindset....

So, that's what Joshua did.  The childre of Israel subjected themselves to being circumcisized by Joshua.  He was their leader.

And that's what I'm and doing now.  I got home and I cut up old pictures that I had been hanging on to.  I deleted old text messages.  I then got all the baby stuff and got rid of it.  Yes, I cried. When you cut on your body, it hurts, but it had to go.  That part of my life is over. It's now time to move into what God has promised and God showed me my baby boy. And it's now time to fight.

When those children were in the wilderness, they didn't have to fight. They didn't know how to fight.  Joshua had to teach and train them.  So, I am learning to fight.

THANK GOD I'm not dying in the wilderness!!!!