I Thank GOD that HE STILL LOVES ME!! GOD IS AMAZING and I want get my life back on track.
On yesterday I was awakened at 5am because I was having a bad dream. In my dream I had a horrible time with my toilet backing up. For some reason there was a little shitzu that wasn't mine that was all muddy and I needed to give him a bath so I filled the tub up with water, but the toilet was overflowing because something was clogging it up and I was trying to get the clog out, but it wouldn't come out and I was really upset about it and I woke up.
Why, did I get up this morning and flush the toilet and it was clogged.
OMG...sometimes I just don't know when God is speaking and when a dream is just a dream, but I'm glad he told me. I contacted Roto Rooter to come and unclog my toilet.
Thank God for still speaking to me!!
Saturday, October 21, 2017
Picking Up The Pieces and Unclogging Toilets.
Wow, It's been a year!!!
It's October and I'm almost in tears. Let's see...
1. I've gained 25lbs
2. I've disconnected with Christ (and He hasn't disconnected with me)
3. I've spent all my money
4. I'm failing my class (not really I had to switch to Audit)
How can I get back on track?
I was duped last year...I met Gov guy and I was determined to make him the one. I mean I was gonna be 40...why can't I be married. I waited and waited and waited. Other people had gotten married and divorced and had children and here I am....just me. I have value! I can be a good wife?
Well, I was duped because I was thinking that I could make it work, but God was like, "Nope, not him...." And I ended up mentally screwed up. I mean how to people just have sex with guy after guy without it affecting them. I mean Gov guy had my mind all jacked up. I tried to contact him this summer and he told me that when he breaks up with a person he doesn't communicate with them anymore. Dang......
So, I tried to move on and ReForm my life, but I was crazy and I met Mr. Ohio in July. I was duped again.
Dang it. What is wrong with me?
This was 2010 all over again with Coach. I met Mr. Ohio and my emotions got the best of me and I was crazy again and had to do all I could to get him off my mind. I mean he had me sending him naked pictures. Well, not naked and no I didn't send it from my phone or email...but dag he had me doing stuff that I don't just do with anyone.
So I went back to dating because I needed a replacement. I HAD to get Mr. Ohio off my mind so I wouldn't go crazy. So I met Mystery Guy.
We didn't start off with the usual "Hello, how are you, I'm fine and you, bit." After the hello, how are you we jumped into a conversation about relationships and what we like and want. He's an attractive guy, but I wasn't putting to much into it besides the great conversation because his profile said that he was non-religious and he didn't want children.
Those are two MAJOR categories for me. I mean I NEED a man of God and I WANT a baby, but we had GREAT conversations. After a few days of chatting (including video chatting which was fun) I had to be in Chicago for work so I asked him if we could meet. He agreed. But, the thing is, he thought I was lying about my reason for coming to Chicago.
I had to got to Chicago to pick up a service vehicle for work. So I booked an Amtrak ticket and I called my co-worker to ask him to pick me up at the station to take me to Evergreen Park to pick up this vehicle at my boss's house. He thought all of that was a ruse just to come see him.
WHAT? WHY WOULD I LIE JUST TO COME SEE YOU?
He wasn't convinced until I sent him a video of being on the train and being in the car with Joe, my co-worker.
WOW? I had to ask him what type of women were he meeting because I would have never come up with an elaborate ruse just to see him. If I wanted to see him I would just say, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"
Anyway, it did the trick. I'm not really thinking about Mr. Ohio even thought I do drive by his house to see if his car is there. But, after twice talking to him and he emphatically coughing into the phone to show me that he was indeed sick, I have given up. I mean...coward. I want to call him the "P" word, but I don't want to be crass. It's not his fault that I was duped. I wasn't paying attention and the devil got me, but it's October and I can still finish this year strong. I've got 10 days left in this month and 2 months left in this year. I just have to not die (like Creole N*gga said).
So I contacted my uncle to see if he wanted to join in with me in a 21 day Reset for the month of October. I started off well, but I fell off in the end, but I'm getting back up again. I mean, it ain't over until it's over and I have to stop allowing my emotions to rule me.
This includes me being upset about my jacked up house. I have holes in my walls...it's getting cold and my toilet is over flowing...I called RotoRooter.
It's October and I'm almost in tears. Let's see...
1. I've gained 25lbs
2. I've disconnected with Christ (and He hasn't disconnected with me)
3. I've spent all my money
4. I'm failing my class (not really I had to switch to Audit)
How can I get back on track?
I was duped last year...I met Gov guy and I was determined to make him the one. I mean I was gonna be 40...why can't I be married. I waited and waited and waited. Other people had gotten married and divorced and had children and here I am....just me. I have value! I can be a good wife?
Well, I was duped because I was thinking that I could make it work, but God was like, "Nope, not him...." And I ended up mentally screwed up. I mean how to people just have sex with guy after guy without it affecting them. I mean Gov guy had my mind all jacked up. I tried to contact him this summer and he told me that when he breaks up with a person he doesn't communicate with them anymore. Dang......
So, I tried to move on and ReForm my life, but I was crazy and I met Mr. Ohio in July. I was duped again.
Dang it. What is wrong with me?
This was 2010 all over again with Coach. I met Mr. Ohio and my emotions got the best of me and I was crazy again and had to do all I could to get him off my mind. I mean he had me sending him naked pictures. Well, not naked and no I didn't send it from my phone or email...but dag he had me doing stuff that I don't just do with anyone.
So I went back to dating because I needed a replacement. I HAD to get Mr. Ohio off my mind so I wouldn't go crazy. So I met Mystery Guy.
We didn't start off with the usual "Hello, how are you, I'm fine and you, bit." After the hello, how are you we jumped into a conversation about relationships and what we like and want. He's an attractive guy, but I wasn't putting to much into it besides the great conversation because his profile said that he was non-religious and he didn't want children.
Those are two MAJOR categories for me. I mean I NEED a man of God and I WANT a baby, but we had GREAT conversations. After a few days of chatting (including video chatting which was fun) I had to be in Chicago for work so I asked him if we could meet. He agreed. But, the thing is, he thought I was lying about my reason for coming to Chicago.
I had to got to Chicago to pick up a service vehicle for work. So I booked an Amtrak ticket and I called my co-worker to ask him to pick me up at the station to take me to Evergreen Park to pick up this vehicle at my boss's house. He thought all of that was a ruse just to come see him.
WHAT? WHY WOULD I LIE JUST TO COME SEE YOU?
He wasn't convinced until I sent him a video of being on the train and being in the car with Joe, my co-worker.
WOW? I had to ask him what type of women were he meeting because I would have never come up with an elaborate ruse just to see him. If I wanted to see him I would just say, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"
Anyway, it did the trick. I'm not really thinking about Mr. Ohio even thought I do drive by his house to see if his car is there. But, after twice talking to him and he emphatically coughing into the phone to show me that he was indeed sick, I have given up. I mean...coward. I want to call him the "P" word, but I don't want to be crass. It's not his fault that I was duped. I wasn't paying attention and the devil got me, but it's October and I can still finish this year strong. I've got 10 days left in this month and 2 months left in this year. I just have to not die (like Creole N*gga said).
So I contacted my uncle to see if he wanted to join in with me in a 21 day Reset for the month of October. I started off well, but I fell off in the end, but I'm getting back up again. I mean, it ain't over until it's over and I have to stop allowing my emotions to rule me.
This includes me being upset about my jacked up house. I have holes in my walls...it's getting cold and my toilet is over flowing...I called RotoRooter.
Stay Woke, N*ggas Creepin
Boy, this online dating stuff is a trip!!
I was listening to a new podcast called Dirty John. It's a true story of a wealthy woman who was duped by a man she met online. My mouth was opened almost the whole time listening.
I mean I am finding that there are all kinds of kinds on this internet dating. Maaaannnn, I gotta stay woke cuz the devil tricked me.
I began to realize that the last time I felt like this was with Coach. I mean when I met Coach I was on cloud nine thinking that I was gonna get married and have a baby. Boy was I so wrong. I was tricked then and I got tricked now with Mr. Ohio. I mean, I didn't know anything about Mr. Ohio, but I was feeling him. What is the deal?
I need to make sure that I stay woke cause N*ggas be trippin!!
I was listening to a new podcast called Dirty John. It's a true story of a wealthy woman who was duped by a man she met online. My mouth was opened almost the whole time listening.
I mean I am finding that there are all kinds of kinds on this internet dating. Maaaannnn, I gotta stay woke cuz the devil tricked me.
I began to realize that the last time I felt like this was with Coach. I mean when I met Coach I was on cloud nine thinking that I was gonna get married and have a baby. Boy was I so wrong. I was tricked then and I got tricked now with Mr. Ohio. I mean, I didn't know anything about Mr. Ohio, but I was feeling him. What is the deal?
I need to make sure that I stay woke cause N*ggas be trippin!!
Who You Fornicating With
I met Mr. Upgrade he had me all hot and bothered. I mean I was actually getting ready to be really irresponsible.
We have midnight prayer the 1st Saturday of every month. And because I'm on the multimedia team we have make sure the prayer service is set up. I was scheduled to be there at at 1am to make sure everything was running well.
However, I was gonna cancel because I wanted to spend time with Mr. Upgrade. but I got a call from boss man, "Hey sis, I gotta work out of town, you got it tonight?"
All I could say was, "Sure."
Dang it....
I told boss man on Sunday that I was gonna be irresponsible and text him at 10pm and cancel. He laughed. "Who you fornicating with? You not the irresponsible type......," is what he said to me.
I just laughed. His wife was a little embarrassed that he was asking me that.
God, thanks for being mindful of me!!
We have midnight prayer the 1st Saturday of every month. And because I'm on the multimedia team we have make sure the prayer service is set up. I was scheduled to be there at at 1am to make sure everything was running well.
However, I was gonna cancel because I wanted to spend time with Mr. Upgrade. but I got a call from boss man, "Hey sis, I gotta work out of town, you got it tonight?"
All I could say was, "Sure."
Dang it....
I told boss man on Sunday that I was gonna be irresponsible and text him at 10pm and cancel. He laughed. "Who you fornicating with? You not the irresponsible type......," is what he said to me.
I just laughed. His wife was a little embarrassed that he was asking me that.
God, thanks for being mindful of me!!
Am I Being Hustled
I have a profile on POF and one evening I got a message from a guy saying that he liked my picture. We exchanged numbers. He said he was from Tennesee, but moved to live in St. Louis. He called me at 5am.
WHAT?
I was working in Peru, IL so I was staying in the hotel. He said he had just finished working out with his personal trainer. and he said that his sister lost 50lbs and was now a size 6. He also said that I should try his trainer and that he'd pay for a session. So he gave me the number. He was fast talking and YES I DO need to lose weight and this may just be the motivation to get my fat butt moving. So I called the trainer and we did a session (despite me not having the right shoes). I did about 120 squats. WHY oh WHY did I do that?
At the end the of session he wanted me to sign up for his services for about $300 a month and he would give me one month free. I told him I didn't want to pay for it all upfront. I would like to pay for things on a month to month basis because my schedule changes. He tried to convince me by saying I wasn't motivated because a motivated person would sign up and just do it.
WHAT??
I don't know who you are, I just met you and how do I know that you are not gonna just take my money? We hung up and I called the other guy back.
This was all kind of crazy. I mean I thought this guy was interested in a date or something. Then I realized that the trainer and this guy had the same area codes.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Is this the new hustle? Meet someone on a dating site for your business?
I mean I could do the exact same thing.....
As a matter of fact I need to find a man who can help me remodel my house.....
WHAT?
I was working in Peru, IL so I was staying in the hotel. He said he had just finished working out with his personal trainer. and he said that his sister lost 50lbs and was now a size 6. He also said that I should try his trainer and that he'd pay for a session. So he gave me the number. He was fast talking and YES I DO need to lose weight and this may just be the motivation to get my fat butt moving. So I called the trainer and we did a session (despite me not having the right shoes). I did about 120 squats. WHY oh WHY did I do that?
At the end the of session he wanted me to sign up for his services for about $300 a month and he would give me one month free. I told him I didn't want to pay for it all upfront. I would like to pay for things on a month to month basis because my schedule changes. He tried to convince me by saying I wasn't motivated because a motivated person would sign up and just do it.
WHAT??
I don't know who you are, I just met you and how do I know that you are not gonna just take my money? We hung up and I called the other guy back.
This was all kind of crazy. I mean I thought this guy was interested in a date or something. Then I realized that the trainer and this guy had the same area codes.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Is this the new hustle? Meet someone on a dating site for your business?
I mean I could do the exact same thing.....
As a matter of fact I need to find a man who can help me remodel my house.....
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
Cryfest:Detroit
There's a lot going on in the world as it relates to racism. It's absolutely depressing. I mean sometimes I'm in tears thinking about and hearing what's going on. It messes with your psyche...being a black person, to know that something as simple as skin color will cause so much hate.
I went to see the movie Detroit and as I was sitting there (there were only 7 people in the theatre) I kept asking myself what I was doing there. "Why am I watching is movie?" I mean I can watch the news and see this exact same thing. I stayed until the end and I was horrified. I mean absolutely HORRIFIED. But, God is good and I know some people are so angry that they dismiss God in some situations. Yes, slavery happened, yes lynching and separate, but equal happened, but we can never leave God out. We CAN'T. In the Bible God told Abraham that his decedents would be held captive in slavery for 400 years, but in the end he was gonna bring them out with a MIGHTY deliverance.
As I sat and watch the ending of the movie I just cried because the young musician could not go back to his old life. But he turned to the grace and love of God. He had nobody to get him through that hell but God and sometimes I think about my life and the abuse that I've been in and I often ask God why and I dismiss God and I turn my back on him because of the struggle that I go through, but no matter what God had NEVER left me and I Thank God for it!!
Thank You Jesus for your love and grace!!
White Castle Made Me Pee My Pants
I don't like living by myself. I always have this fear that something is gonna happen to me and no one will find me for days and days.....
I was eating White Castle sliders. I didn't realize that they put hot pepper cheese on the sandwich and the vapor from the heat made me inhale the wrong way and I ended up in the coughing fit. I couldn't catch my breath. I was coughing so hard and so much that I pee'd my pants.
OMG
White Castle, when I order regular cheese sliders I just want regular cheese, NOT hot cheese.
I was eating White Castle sliders. I didn't realize that they put hot pepper cheese on the sandwich and the vapor from the heat made me inhale the wrong way and I ended up in the coughing fit. I couldn't catch my breath. I was coughing so hard and so much that I pee'd my pants.
OMG
White Castle, when I order regular cheese sliders I just want regular cheese, NOT hot cheese.
What Customer Service
Has customer service gone the way of the rotary phone? I mean you see them every now and then, but they are not being used often. LOL.
I was paying for a paint night and I was looking over the website to see if I could bring my own food. I couldn't find the information so I send a message over FB to ask about it. The message she sends me was rude..."You can find the information on the website, but yes can you bring food. " Thanks, dang. I didn't want to shoot back at her and tell her that I looked, because I did really look. I just couldn't find the information. I mean, maybe your website is just jacked up and if I can't find the information then it might need to be moved. Just answer the question as nicely as I asked. WOW.
Another instance of poor customer service. I guess I understand this one, but it could have been handled better...
I rent tons of cars through AVIS rental car. Like every month and sometimes 2 or 3 times a month. The same lady that I rent from works the counter every time. Sometimes I schedule a pick up at 8 am when the counter opens and she's not there. I prepay online and I have a premium card that is supposed to allow me to just grab the keys and go. So why do I always have to wait when I reserve at 8am? It's happened at least 3 out of 4 times. Because I've been renting cars every month for the past 3 years I would say that I"m a loyal customer. So why am I not treated like that? I guess this is where my "privilege" mentality is coming it at, but without loyal customers some businesses will fail. So I spend money in exchange for good customer services. Well, the last straw was when I pick up the keys to a vehicle, but I didn't necessarily pick up the vehicle because I didn't have the time. However, upon picking up the keys at 9pm, there were two services lights on in the car. I was supposed to drove to St. Louis to get to a concert at 11pm. WHAT am I supposed to do with bells and alarms going off in the car. Luckily I cancelled going to the concert, so I just drove the car home and took it back the next day. WHY OH WHY was I charged for gas? WHAT? I drove 12 miles and the was still on full. I called an argued with the lady and told her that I should not be charged because I could not even drive the car. She tried to say that all I had to do was call the roadside assistance. WHAT? Why would I even do that and be late to where I"m going? I guess if I had time I would do that, but I had no time for that. So I just didn't go. I paid for a useless car as least give me the benefit of the doubt and not charge me for gas. DANG. She finally relented and said she would waive the charges this time.
WOW...I haven't been back to AVIS rental car.
I was paying for a paint night and I was looking over the website to see if I could bring my own food. I couldn't find the information so I send a message over FB to ask about it. The message she sends me was rude..."You can find the information on the website, but yes can you bring food. " Thanks, dang. I didn't want to shoot back at her and tell her that I looked, because I did really look. I just couldn't find the information. I mean, maybe your website is just jacked up and if I can't find the information then it might need to be moved. Just answer the question as nicely as I asked. WOW.
Another instance of poor customer service. I guess I understand this one, but it could have been handled better...
I rent tons of cars through AVIS rental car. Like every month and sometimes 2 or 3 times a month. The same lady that I rent from works the counter every time. Sometimes I schedule a pick up at 8 am when the counter opens and she's not there. I prepay online and I have a premium card that is supposed to allow me to just grab the keys and go. So why do I always have to wait when I reserve at 8am? It's happened at least 3 out of 4 times. Because I've been renting cars every month for the past 3 years I would say that I"m a loyal customer. So why am I not treated like that? I guess this is where my "privilege" mentality is coming it at, but without loyal customers some businesses will fail. So I spend money in exchange for good customer services. Well, the last straw was when I pick up the keys to a vehicle, but I didn't necessarily pick up the vehicle because I didn't have the time. However, upon picking up the keys at 9pm, there were two services lights on in the car. I was supposed to drove to St. Louis to get to a concert at 11pm. WHAT am I supposed to do with bells and alarms going off in the car. Luckily I cancelled going to the concert, so I just drove the car home and took it back the next day. WHY OH WHY was I charged for gas? WHAT? I drove 12 miles and the was still on full. I called an argued with the lady and told her that I should not be charged because I could not even drive the car. She tried to say that all I had to do was call the roadside assistance. WHAT? Why would I even do that and be late to where I"m going? I guess if I had time I would do that, but I had no time for that. So I just didn't go. I paid for a useless car as least give me the benefit of the doubt and not charge me for gas. DANG. She finally relented and said she would waive the charges this time.
WOW...I haven't been back to AVIS rental car.
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