Picking Up The Pieces and Unclogging Toilets.

Wow, It's been a year!!!

It's October and I'm almost in tears. Let's see...

1. I've gained 25lbs
2. I've disconnected with Christ (and He hasn't disconnected with me)
3. I've spent all my money
4. I'm failing my class (not really I had to switch to Audit)

How can I get back on track?

I was duped last year...I met Gov guy and I was determined to make him the one. I mean I was gonna be 40...why can't I be married. I waited and waited and waited. Other people had gotten married and divorced and had children and here I am....just me. I have value! I can be a good wife?

Well, I was duped because I was thinking that I could make it work, but God was like, "Nope, not him...." And I ended up mentally screwed up. I mean how to people just have sex with guy after guy without it affecting them. I mean Gov guy had my mind all jacked up. I tried to contact him this summer and he told me that when he breaks up with a person he doesn't communicate with them anymore. Dang......

So, I tried to move on and ReForm my life, but I was crazy and I met Mr. Ohio in July. I was duped again.

Dang it. What is wrong with me?

This was 2010 all over again with Coach. I met Mr. Ohio and my emotions got the best of me and I was crazy again and had to do all I could to get him off my mind. I mean he had me sending him naked pictures. Well, not naked and no I didn't send it from my phone or email...but dag he had me doing stuff that I don't just do with anyone.

So I went back to dating because I needed a replacement. I HAD to get Mr. Ohio off my mind so I wouldn't go crazy. So I met Mystery Guy.

We didn't start off with the usual "Hello, how are you, I'm fine and you, bit." After the hello, how are you we jumped into a conversation about relationships and what we like and want. He's an attractive guy, but I wasn't putting to much into it besides the great conversation because his profile said that he was non-religious and he didn't want children.

Those are two MAJOR categories for me. I mean I NEED a man of God and I WANT a baby, but we had GREAT conversations. After a few days of chatting (including video chatting which was fun) I had to be in Chicago for work so I asked him if we could meet. He agreed. But, the thing is, he thought I was lying about my reason for coming to Chicago.

I had to got to Chicago to pick up a service vehicle for work. So I booked an Amtrak ticket and I called my co-worker to ask him to pick me up at the station to take me to Evergreen Park to pick up this vehicle at my boss's house. He thought all of that was a ruse just to come see him.

WHAT? WHY WOULD I LIE JUST TO COME SEE YOU?

He wasn't convinced until I sent him a video of being on the train and being in the car with Joe, my co-worker.

WOW? I had to ask him what type of women were he meeting because I would have never come up with an elaborate ruse just to see him. If I wanted to see him I would just say, "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"

Anyway, it did the trick. I'm not really thinking about Mr. Ohio even thought I do drive by his house to see if his car is there. But, after twice talking to him and he emphatically coughing into the phone to show me that he was indeed sick, I have given up. I mean...coward. I want to call him the "P" word, but I don't want to be crass. It's not his fault that I was duped. I wasn't paying attention and the devil got me, but it's October and I can still finish this year strong. I've got 10 days left in this month and 2 months left in this year. I just have to not die (like Creole N*gga said).

So I contacted my uncle to see if he wanted to join in with me in a 21 day Reset for the month of October. I started off well, but I fell off in the end, but I'm getting back up again. I mean, it ain't over until it's over and I have to stop allowing my emotions to rule me.

This includes me being upset about my jacked up house. I have holes in my walls...it's getting cold and my toilet is over flowing...I called RotoRooter.