Oh, Brother

I love my family, as dysfunctional and independent as we are. I wish I could have grown up in one of those families that were close knit and depended on and needed each other, but I didn't. So, because of that, I've made it a point to be available and be supportive of my family. Everyone needs someone they can depend on. Everyone needs that shoulder to cry on....The Bible even says that two are better than one because when one is down the other one can pick him up and when it's cold, they both can stay warm together.

Recently, I've told God that I need my "one" that can be there for me. All throughout my life, I've craved for that "one" person who can be there for me no matter what. I wish it could have been my mother because Lord knows that I've NEEDED my mother to help me through rough times. In the past, I've had best friends but never anyone who I can truly be me with....the closest I've come to having that person was Mister, but because he doesn't love God, I'm sure he can't truly love me, as controversial as that seems, but it's true. He even told me recently that he doesn't understand how I can, love a fool like him. What he doesn't realize that it's the love of God. The Bible says that it doesn't matter what we do, but God still loves us. That's not always easy to understand. I mean, it took me 35 years to understand that one. So, I'm waiting on my "one" who will be there no matter what. I'm grateful for my church family, but I need my "one."

Anyway, my brother called me last night to ask, no tell, me that he would be moving up here in June to go to school and get a job. Oh boy!!

I really, really, really want him to come here, but there is a slight issue I have....

I DON'T HAVE MY OWN PLACE TO LIVE.

Yes, I have an apartment and it's comfortable, but my apartment is tied to my job. I'm the building manager and as the building manager, there are strict rules that prohibit me from allowing anyone to come to live with me.

*SIGH*

What do I do??

I mean, right now I can't afford a new place to live.

Yes, I have a new job that will give me enough money to pay rent, but I was banking on that money to get me out of debt over the next two years.

*SIGH*

Lord, what do I do??

I NEED to be available for my little brother, but there is that one little thing.

Also, he is a teenager--18. I'm sure he's different from my little sister, but he's still a teenager, so there will be the uncomfortable conversation about it being my house, I pay the bills, I make the rules, yada yada yada.....but I think my brother will be okay with it. Not that there are very many rules. I mean, just keep the living room clean and let me know when you will be coming home late and go to church when required. It's simple...oh yeah and keep the bathroom clean, especially since we will be sharing a bathroom. LOL.

So, in addition to starting my new job, I will be opening my doors to my baby brother. I'm actually kind of excited.

The third thing that I'm going to work out is how to pay his tuition. He's not going to be eligible for financial aid because my mother has to file the papers and I don't think she will, so that means that I will foot the bill. I don't mind it but I NEED to make sure that I can get out of debt too.....

THANK GOD for the new job because there is NO WAY that I would be able to do that on my current salary.

I'm not worried one bit....I know Jesus will work it out!!!!