I can't be a sinner...
I need to be able to pray at anytime, so if I'm a sinner, God won't hear me. His words says if I regard iniquity in my heart he won't hear me, so I have to stay saved. I know I'm not perfect and I will always make mistakes, but I'm talking about willingly sinning (like I have been doing w Mister). I have to get rid of this weight....because it leads to sin and I have to lay aside this sin that so easily besets me....so easily harasses me and entangles me....I HAVE TO LET IT GO because I have to be effective when I'm helping people.
Sabrina called me around 11:30pm crying. She said she needed to go to the ER. I got up (after finishing my sins) got dressed and went to pick her up. I was thinking that maybe she was having braxtion hicks contractions and it would be no big deal. I get to her place and she tells me she's having chest pains and it's hard to breath, and she said her heart was beating really fast. WHAT??
At first I thought maybe it was anxiety. But, I did run all the red lights getting her to the ER.
When we got there, her pulse was over 200. WHAT?? Her blood pressure was okay, but her pulse was climbing. They did everything to help it go down--ice on the face, having her bear down like she had to take a bowel movement....
Then the nurse brought in the crash cart. OMG. I wanted to ask her what it was for, but I KNEW what it was for, but I wanted to ask why she was bringing it in, but I KNEW why she was bringing it in. Her heart rate was now over 235 and they needed to bring it down. She was experiencing supraventricular tachycardia--SVT. The needed her heart rate to come down so they told her that she would be given medicine that stops her heart. WHAT? STOPS HER HEART? She asked the question that I wanted to ask, "Am I gonna die?" The nurse told her that it would only stop for a few seconds so that it could get back into a normal rhythm. Sabrina became scared and started crying. I got up and was getting nervous. I started praying, but I was hindered because of my sin. I didn't want to turn to God because "my hands were dirty and my heart was dirty," OMG. I wanted to have an effective prayer...
The nurse told her it was gonna feel like someone kicked her in the chest, but it would only last for a few seconds. They gave her 6 (I don't know if it was cc's or what, but the doctor said 6) Heart rate was still over 220 and was not going down, the doctor increase it to 12. The machine blinked, she was crying and the nurse was soothing her so that she could stay calm. It went down. We stayed in the ER for about two hours for them to run the test. Then she was discharged to go to maternity ward because they needed to make sure that the baby was fine. We stayed in the maternity ward for another hours.
OMG....
I can't remember being so scared. I mean, when I was in the hospital, I had the fear of dying, but being on the outside looking in and the only thing you can do is pray....
OMG....
I NEED to know that my prayers are effective and the only way that I know is when I KNOW I have the Holy Spirit because He gives me the power to be effective.
OMG....
God, I NEED your HOLY SPIRIT, so that I can have power and that I can be effective!!!!
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