I met Coach in Sept/Oct 2002. He was the wrestling coach at one of the high schools. My brothers were on the team, so in going to their matches, I met this good looking guy....There was chemistry there. We looked at each other and "clicked". However, neither of us made a move. At that time I was leaving a relationship and I didn't know that he was married (he didn't wear a ring). But the connection was there.
We saw each other over the years--at the gas station, at the store, here and there....we'd always be cordial--I'd smile and greet him and the woman he was with (years later, he denied always having a woman with him).
In January 2010, I ran into him as usual, but this time it was different. This time, I wasn't supposed to stop and greet him, actually when I saw him, I should have gone the other way, but "the cat was out of the bag" and we spoke, numbers were exchanged and our world wind relationship started. He swept me off my feet. We were both on cloud nine.
The relationship was brief....he decided that he wanted to make it work with his ex (baby mama) and I took my broken heart and tried to move forward. In June 2010 (or July) I looked him up and noticed there was a charge against him for battery with bodily harm, unlawful restraint and a felony charge of unlawful use of a weapon. I was concerned. I mean, in the past he had several protective orders against him (from several different women, including his ex wife).
Wow, what was going on??
I later found out that (not sure the entire story) he had been in an altercation with his ex wife's new boyfriend (fiancée) and he had also restrained his gf (baby mama) at gun point and he threatened to kill himself (he was also abusing himself by cutting, I didn't know grown men did that. I'm not sure if the scars were old, but they were BAD). He was incarcerated, lost his job, lost his house and two cars and a motorcycle, and almost lost his mind. He ended up on the psych ward at the hospital and he has this major lawsuit against him. He was looking at jail time. He had to hire a lawyer because he was not indigent (he didn't lose his job until Jan 2011). His lawyer worked his butt off and got two of the charges dropped and he got two years probation for the other charge. He is now jobless and living with his mom, but he is free...no jail time.
Mister and I met in April 2002. There was an immediate attraction. However, he was a college student and I was an employee and I didn't know the rules of fraternization. So, our attraction put on ice. However, in February 2003, we went on our first date. Boy was it hot and steamy. But, the fact that he was a student still bothered me, so I went to get the legal info on dating a student. There was no policy against it, but it was frowned upon if I had been his teacher or boss. Since I was neither, my mind was settled and we began an "forbidden" romance (he didn't believe in Jesus, I LOVED Jesus...it was complicated). We continued to see each other in our tumultuous relationship until he left town in August 2007. We continued to communicate until summer 2009 when I couldn't take it anymore. There was NO point to our relationship or friendship for that matter because we were always living in the past of what could have been, should have been, blah, blah, blah.....I let go and we didn't talk again until 2011.
He contacted me on FB about and issue and this opened the door to a new friendship. My feelings for him had changed and I was no longer "interested" just wanting a friend. He was good to talk to....I was stable when his relationships were not. In Feb 2013 he was charged with battery with bodily harm. His gf called the police on him and said the he was beating her. She had the bruises to show for it, but he was INNOCENT. Those bruises weren't from him beating her, but from their TYPE of relationship.
She agreed to have a BDSM relationship with him. She also agreed to be his "sub". Basically that means that he is the Master and she is the slave. He is the Dominant and she is the Submissive. Going along with that is physical harm such as spanking, slapping, biting, etc. But, it was all consensual. He did not do anything without her consent. As a matter of fact, she held the power, not him because she could tell him what to do and what NOT to do, what she would allow and what she would NOT allow.
I know...not the conventional relationship, but there are people who live like this. Of course he and I never had this type of relationship, but he talked enough about it, and I researched enough about it to know the rules. Yes, there are people who go to far in these types of relationships, but Mister is not that type. At least from my knowledge of him. So, the bruises were evidence the he beat her. Did he treat her badly, probably. That was part of the relationship. Again, she consented. He was incarcerated and his bond was set at $40,000 because of his past history of arrest--he's never been convicted of anything except a DUI, but he has been arrested several times. He stayed in jail for 22 days before he was able to raise bail. He also, was considered indigent because he lost his job, his car, and he had no money to pay for a lawyer. So he has a public defender.....
What is the is the difference of the two cases?? Coach was guilty on all three accounts, but he got off with probation. Yes, he now has a felony on his record, but he didn't face jail time. Mister is innocent and is awaiting his day in court (it was continued to May 28).
I hope the outcome for him is not jail because he is faced with up to 10 years.
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