Unemployment Benefits

I have not been paid for my unemployment. I was a quite sad. I thought I would be paid last week. Maybe it's this week. But I have $1.99 in the bank and my car is on "E". I'm scared to drive. I got a letter in the mail saying that I have to answer some questions. Maybe that's why I wasn't paid--they have some questions. They are supposed to call me at 11am today. I can't wait until then. I've got some questions for them.

I have not sent in my transcript for the job at UIS. I don't have any money to order it.

Yesterday, I was so bummed. I wanted to go somewhere and hibernate until the winter was over. I was sad because I didn't have any money and nothing in my life is going right. Every job opportunity I've had has failed. I got a call saying that I didn't get the job working with grants management at ADM. That job is perfect for me. I write grants. She said that I didn't get the job because there was someone who had more experience writing grants. What? I've written and won over $80,000 in grants just last year. That's experience! No, I haven't won millions of dollars in grants, but I have significant experience. Ugh!!!

So, here I am, sitting in someone else's house at her job. If the office at church wasn't so cold, I'd go there to work (if I had gas money to get there). There's something wrong with the furnace and the need to have a service person come look at it, so I have work to do at church, but I can't work in the office.

I have no food. I go to our food pantry to get pork and beans and hot dogs to eat. I'm gonna apply for a Link Card. Link is the modern day food stamps. I'm not sure how long it takes to get a car, but I need some food. I can't remember a Christmas without turkey. I can't remember a Christmas without going to the movies on Christmas day.

I know that God is with me. My Pastor's wife told me that story of Joseph, which I had known and she said that Joseph was sold into kidnapped, sold into slavery, went to live in somebody else's house, put in jail, forgotten about by people, but GOD WAS WITH JOSEPH!!!! When she told me that, that made me cry. I'm tearing up while I'm typing about it. That is powerful!!! She said that nothing would work for Joseph. He went to live in Potipher's house, but his wife accused him and was sent to jail. He was put over the prisoners in jail and he told two of the men that were sent there to not forget about him when they got out and sure enough when they got out they forgot that he helped them. Nothing Joseph did worked. She told me to be encouraged because where God is taking me, I have to be prepared. Just like Joseph wasn't prepared to rule the kingdom yet, so he had to deal with what he had to deal with because had been been placed in position to rule the kingdom, at the time that he wanted, he would have messed up. He would not have been able to help his family--he would have been too bitter that his brothers kidnapped him and sold him into slavery and then lied and said that he was killed. All the ungodly stuff had to be worked out of Joseph so that he could rule the kingdom with character and integrity and power and might. So, he practiced. When he was in jail, he was put in leadership over the prisoners. When he was a slave in Potipher's house, he was practicing his leadership role. It wasn't until after all that happened to him that finally God made him ruler of the the kingdom. So even though, I'm in my valley, I using this as my practice to be a leader not just in my community, but in my state and in the nation.

Thank God for His word that encourages me!!