Having Mel come get me made me realize that he's actually been on my mind lately. At my church, there has been a ton of weddings. Well, not a ton, but 6 this year alone. I've been apart of 3 of them. The weddings have been so beautiful and the brides have been so pretty. I couldn't help imagining my day. Well, actually, I've been imagining my day for the past two years and it only intensified when "Criminal Guy", the guy that I hooked up with at the beginning of this year, told me he was gonna marry me.
In 2008, I had a really good friend who got engaged. We had been through ups and downs with relationships and one day I told her that I didn't want to have to "end up with" Mel. I was saying it because my heart was with someone else and Mel had some issues that I didn't know if I wanted to deal with.
So, lately, I've been thinking about him and his issues and why I wouldn't date him. I know, I know, I have a lot of issues to and there is no guarantee that he'd want to deal with mine once I told him. Anyway, what are his issues:
1. I don't like the way he dresses. He wears these 2 piece pants suits all the time, the kind where the shirt matches, the pants, and he always has shoes to match. He does look nice in them, but does he have to wear them ALL THE TIME? He has this lime green one that I think is over the top. Yes, he looks good in it because his skin is really dark, but it is lime green.
2. He's to frivolous with his money. I used to spend money like water, but that was because I had money to spend. He doesn't have the money and he spends it anyway. Then he borrows and spends more. Now, I'm not good at managing my bills, and he's not good either. How in the world would we be good together. It won't work.
3. He flirts too much. Well, actually it's not flirting, but he has a lot of lady friends and he's just way to friendly with the women. I don't want a man where all these women has his phone number. Some of these women simply use him for his money because he's so woman hungry. It's good to be nice, but to be "had" is a different thing. He actually got into trouble at work and was demoted because one of the women said that he was sexually harassing her. He may have or may not have been, but his persona is very friendly with the ladies and I can see how a woman can misconstrue his actions. When he was talking to me on the phone that night and he said what he said, it could have classified as sexual harassment. When he sent me the text, that could have classified as sexual harassment. He needs to not be so friendly.
4. He eats horribly. I used to be a health nut. I didn't buy very much processed food. I love fresh fruits and veggies. I love whole grains and foods rich in fiber. Yes, I've gained 30lbs over the last 5 years, but I'm working on it and it all hasn't come from bad eating. I gained 5 lbs by eating beans and everyone knows that beans are good for your heart...the more you eat them...the more you... :-) He, on the other hand, eats fried chicken every day. He loves all things fried. Yes, I like fried foods too, but um, not everyday. Not even every week. I love grilled chicken. I love grilled foods. He's a diabetic and doesn't manage what he eats.
5. We go to different churches.Different churches have different beliefs and I love movies, I love having fun, I'm not going to throw away all my pants, I'm not gonna stop wearing my makeup. All those things don't make me have a better relationship with God. God looks at the heart of a person. Scripture says that man looks on outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. And those are all things his church believes--women can only wear skirts, they can't wear make-up, you can't go to the movies, and I'm not sure what other restrictions there are, but there are more. Of course there are restrictions when you are saved, but some of those are not made by God, those are man made restrictions.
6. He allows people to take advantage of him. I NEED a strong man that is not gonna put up nobodies mess, not even mine. I NEED a man that is gonna wear the pants and is gonna lead and be the head and is not gonna be duped by people. There are so many people that take advantage of him--even his parents. He tells me all the time how his parents help his brother out all the time, but when he ask for help, he has to pay them and he has to have all these conditions to be helped. At one time he needed a place to stay because his house was being sold. I told him he could come to live with me as long as he needed for free. His parents told him that he couldn't live with me because we would be "shacking" and that was not the case because I had a two bedroom apartment. He was gonna have his room and I had my room. We were not together and we were not going to be together. So there was no shaking going on. However, when they told him he could stay with them, they charged him, but when his brother lived with them because he needed a place to live, they didn't charge him anything and his brother had a full time job. His brother had a child out of wedlock and they were saying that he was the one sleeping around. He would tell me all this stuff and I'd wonder why in the world would he put up with it, but he would. I guess when you feel you need somebody, you put up with mess. I don't need a man like that. I need a man that's gonna say when right is right and wrong is wrong no matter who may not like it.
So, these are not small issues. He's a wonderful guy and I'm sure somebody can make a list based on me, but I don't think we'd get along as a couple.
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