New Perspective

Talking to Coach was getting to me.  I was starting to let him get under my skin--dreaming about us being together.  I've interested in this man since 2002.  He was the wrestling coach at one of the high schools in town.  My brothers were on the team.  Now, 8 years later, he's telling me that he wants to marry me.  The problem is, he has major, MAJOR issues going on.  A good friend of mine works for the Circuit Clerk's office.  Her sister also works with Coach.  She let me know that he was in the hospital because he tried to kill himself--shoot himself in the head.  He told me he was in the hospital because he had a rash that the doctor's couldn't identify.  She said that he choked his baby's mama and wouldn't allow her to leave.  That's the reason for the unlawful restraint charge.  He has several Order's of Protections against him.  I was thinking they were from his ex-wife. They are actually from quite a few different women.

"Stay away from him" was what my friend kept telling me.  She said he had deep seeded mental issues and he's violent.  She said that he has issues with women.  He's told me about how he was abused when he was a child--how his mom would beat him and beat him.  He told me how he was adopted and was able to get away from that life.  However, when he was telling me about his mom, I felt really sorry because all I heard in his voice was pain--deep rooted pain.  He wasn't telling me the story as a healed person who has overcome these obstacles to become this successful social worker and coach--by the way, he's a social worker for the Illinois department of human services.  He was telling me the story and he sounded like a hurt, wounded boy. A boy who is now a 39 year old man that has problems with women.  My heart aches for him.  I wish I could help him, but I can't.  The only thing I can do is pray for him--pray for his mind, pray for his children.  Another thing she told me was that he has more than 4 children.  I thought he only had 4, but she said there are way more.  Wow!!!!  I'm a little overwhelmed by all of this.  This is a man that I could have seen myself with.  He was my dream man for 8 years.  Now that dream is shattering.  One thing he said to me was probably true--"If we could have gotten together a long time ago, I probably wouldn't be going through all this."

I concur.  If we had gotten together a long time ago, I wouldn't be in this mess that I"m in either.