I will rejoice

Today started out being a very challenging day.

Where shall I begin?????

I got back home at around 5am from a long evening and night hanging out with my family in my hometown about 120 miles away.  I met my big brother for the first time.  My stepdad has always talked about him and he had pictures of him while we were growing up, but yesterday was our first time meeting.  I planned to stay there the night, however, I knew I wanted to go to church to day, so instead of getting to sleep at 2am and getting up to be on the highway at 6, I decided to just drive home.  I set my phone to wake me up at 8am and when I got up this morning, I spent about a half an hour just sitting in my car because I was too embarrassed to get out while there were people in the parking lot.  Finally at about 8:40 I was able to go get out to get my things to wash up inside the hotel.  However, as I was getting my things, a back SS Monte Carlo passed by me slowly in the parking lot.  The windows were tinted, so I couldn't see who was inside and I simply ignored it until it circled again and rode by my slowly before parking in the back of the lot.  I was still getting my things--clothes to wear to church, underwear, shoes, toiletries, and frantically looking for my pantyhose, when this guy walks past me looking.  He made me a little nervous, but I was more nervous that time was running out and by now it was 9am and I needed to be at church at about 9:45 and I still needed to stop at Walgreens to get panythose.  So I didn't pay any attention to this guy until after I closed my trunk, he walked past and spoke and I simply spoke to him.  He was kind of looking back at me and the closer I got to the hotel the more uneasy I felt because I was unsure why this guy was acting the way he was.  He entered the hotel first and I slowed down so that I didn't have to be that close to him.  As he kept walking, I quickly made my left to go to my usual restroom to wash up, iron my clothes, put my make-up on and get to church.  However, as I was walking down the hallway, I turned to look behind me and the same guy had turned around, and was now walking down the opposite hall while looking at me.  Now I was a little more disturbed, but time was of the essence so I quickly brushed me teeth, disrobed and was getting ready to wash up when I heard a knock on the door.  Oh Boy, now I was nervous.  I was praying to God that I wasn't found out.  I simply said I was in there and quickly put my clothes back on.  I looked at the clock and it was about 9:15.  I gathered my things the best I could, flushed the toilet and walked out, but before turning to go back to my car I looked behind me and saw the same guy outside the door down the hallway.  Now my nerves were in high gear.  Who is this guy and what does he want.  I had never seen him before, obviously he was not a customer or employee of the hotel--What does he want?  I quickly walked down the hall and turned towards the elevators thinking that I could slip out of a different door, but realized he was parked by me, so instead of going out the door I went to a different restroom and decided to wait it out.  But time was running out.  It was 9:20 and I had not washed up or ironed my clothes.  What to do? What to do?  I waited and prayed to God that I didn't run into this guy again and I walked out of the restroom and sure enough right when I was going to turn the corner to dash out the door there he was.  I looked at him and he looked at him.  I simply asked, "You good?" as I was walking past him.  He simply said yes and then asked me why I had asked.  I asked him why he had knocked on the bathroom door.  Of course he said that he hadn't which I knew was a lie, no one else was down that hallway.  No one else goes down that hallway.  I know because I've been washing up in the bathroom down that hallway for about 4 weekends now and I've never run into a customer or employee and he was neither.  He then asked me what I was doing while looking at my bags.  I told him I was minding my own business while I was walking towards the door.  As I was going to my car I noticed the he walked out a different door and was going to his car, but he didn't get in.  He got his phone out and started talking on his phone.  I was thoroughly creeped out.  Thoroughly freaked out and now it was almost 9:30 and I was gonna be late to church which I couldn't be because I did the morning prayer decree.

So I make it church and now I have to rush to get to my office so that I could iron my clothes  No time to wash myself so I simply took the towel that I had washed my face with and wiped my privates.  I wanted to use soap, but I didn't have any water to rinse.  I added deodorant, ironed my clothes and went bare legged to my place.  However, my jacket was still wrinkled.  I was going to stand before all the people with a wrinkled jacket.  I had no time to rummage through my trunk to find something else to wear.  I was so embarrassed.  Not only was I embarrassed, I was shamed.  I felt pitiful.  It was compounded when after service I was asked to come to the front to represent the pastoral committee that I served on.  OMG!!!!!

So, now I'm mortified and scared to go back to the hotel.  I'm extremely exhausted because I have not gotten any sleep.  I've been racking my brain about other placed to go to sleep.  The only thing I can think of is Walmart or one of the other hotels.  I've been asking God for direction and God is wonderful because he hears me when I pray, I'm just not hearing an answer.

So, the title of this post is "I will rejoice" because I'm not going to allow it to frustrate me or make me depressed even though I am sad about right now.  I'm going to find one of my favorite praise songs and demand that I will have a wonderful day.