Fasting

I decided to fast today. There are two reason why.

1. My homeless diet is horrible and I think I'm constipated. I'm not sure how to tell. I've never been constipated before. As a matter of fact, my diet was pretty healthy, despite the fact that Little Debbie is my best friend. I love to eat vegetables and fruit. My favorite meal is beans and smoked turkey which is which I ate all summer along with lots of cherries, peaches, plums, and pears. My other favorite food is a chicken bacon club sandwich. The chicken is grilled and there are only two pieces of bacon so it's pretty healthy. However, because I have no kitchen to cook I have to rely on foods that are preparation free. Lately, I've been eating a lot of pizza from Caseys Super Store, hot dogs and rollarbites from gas stations, chips, fried chicken from Walmart. My system doesn't like it because I can't go to the bathroom. It feels like I need to go and I'm sure I really do NEED to go, but I can't. I bought prunes and two apples to help me go. Normally, I do #2 at least once a day. I think it's been two days now and no #2. This can't be good. Thus the need to fast. When I fast I only eat raw fruits and vegetables and I drink plenty of water. This will cleanse my system.

2. I need to improve my spiritual life. I've an avid church goer and I love to read my Bible when I actually sit down to read it. I also love to pray when I actually take the time to spend in prayer. I also love to hear God and lately I haven't been hearing him. There was a time when God would tell me something and it would be the perfect thing to do. This year however, I haven't been hearing much and when He does tell me something, I ignore it because I seem to have forgotten what His voice sounds like. I haven't really talked to him in a while besides my daily prayer to keep me safe in my car at night.

So fasting will help me to unclog my bowels and my spirit.

On yesterday at church my pastor preached about having a solid foundation. One thing that he talked about was how many times people are warned before their fall. For example, King David sinned by sleeping with Bathsheba and killing her husband and taking her to be his wife. God send the prophet Nathan to tell him about himself and instead of King David getting puffed up, he repented. As he was talking I remembered earlier this year when I was struggling with a bad relationship and bad decisions that I had made and I was being overwhelmed by the situations that I was in. However, my spiritual mom who is a prophet called me into a meeting and said that God showed her that I was like a garment that has a string hanging off of it; and when you pull the string the fabric unravels and if you keep pulling, it unravels until there is no garment. She said that I need to cut the string and not allow the situations that I was going through to destroy me. Well, I heard what she said, but instead of focusing on getting myself together I just focused on the problems that I was facing. For about two months, I was spaced out. I went to work, I was meeting and talking with people, but in my mind I was on vacation. Mentally, I couldn't handle everything that was going on so my focus left God and went to running away from my life. In the end I lost everything--I unraveled. So now I've got to pick up the pieces and start over. So, fasting will help me to do that; it will help me to regain my focus so that I won't lose it all again.

I thank God that He loves me enough to give me another chance to get it right!!