Yep, that was my goal today. It's about 7:33pm and I think I can still make it. I've got 3 sweet potatoes in the oven and I'm waiting on them to be done. I didn't know how long it took for sweet potatoes to be done, but it says about 25 minutes. I've got to get my clothes ready for church tomorrow and take a shower. Actually, I want to get my clothes ready for work all next week. This will help me save time especially since I will be getting home so late in the evening. I also want to get my lunch ready for the rest of the week because the cafeteria at the bank is not cheap.
Through this fast God is really teaching me a lot of stuff. One thing is to not be offended by things that people say. In order to mature I must know that I can't get offended by every person's comment. I know the intention is good and I accept the concern, but it's real easy to look at someone else and not look at yourself. On this fast, I wanted to examine myself. I didn't want to point out anyone else's faults. I want to see me!! GOD, SHOW ME, ME!!! Please, because I am the one standing in NEED!!!! I know that there are people who are able to help me, but sometimes the help is not help, it's more like a judgement. Maybe, I shouldn't look at it that way. Maybe it's a conviction, but I'm moving forward. Maybe I'm not moving fast enough, but I am moving!!!!
Maybe God is trying to tell me something!!!
Father, I want to spend more time with you, but I do have work to do. Do I have to spend all my time reading your word? Okay, maybe to walk in the spirit I need to think in the spirit more. I understand that, but I'm learning, right???? Am I that bad????? Am I that bad?????
I understand that you have been telling me to get rid of my pride. You have been telling me to humble myself and you have been telling me my faults--not listening and paying attention to the word, not protecting my anointing... not being obedient when you tell me to do something, allowing fear and intimidation to control me instead of the spirit of God and so on and so on....
I know you are not concerned with my past, but it haunts me and it's taken me some time to get over it!!!! I'm not going to have a pity party and use my past and my upbringing as an excuse, and I know that there are people who are worst off than me and have had it worse than me. But, I've had to deal with some difficult stuff.
Help me, God!!!
Father, help me, please!!!!!
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