Not Gone Cry

I just came from M******** University. I was invited to attend an Elite Women's Expo sponsored by the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. I wasn't so sure what I was doing there, but I thought it had something to do with me helping them with their health fair last year. The event was business attire, but it was after 7pm, so I wanted to not just wear business attire, I wanted to be cute in a "business after hours" sort of way, especially since I knew the ladies were gonna be cute.

When I arrived, I was welcomed and I immediately went to talk to some of the women who were there at the booths. The advisor came over and we chatted and I mentioned to her that I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing there. "Well, you are being honored," one of the other ladies said.

"WHAT, ME? What am I being honored for??" I was shocked, but I thought she was playing so I was still kind of confused and I kept talking.

The program started and there was a slide show of the "Elite" women who had been invited to speak on the panel. As the slides were shown and their bios were read, I thought, "Hmm, maybe I'm supposed to be on the panel." I mean, they didn't ask for my bio, but they did ask for a picture and some fun facts about myself. But, nope. My name wasn't in the slides to be on the panel.

There was networking and I chatted with the "Elite" women and I thought to myself, "why am I not on the panel? am I not "Elite"?" But, I took it in stride. The women on the panel were all well accomplished in their careers and i'm not that old so...I guess my "elitism" will come when I'm more stable. I just brushed the thought off. The panel discussion was really good. And I had a few pointers that I wanted to add, but I wasn't on the panel, so again I brushed it off. At one point I was gonna leave because I didn't know that I was gonna be there for two hours. Man, this was considered work and I didn't tell my boss that I was gonna be there that long....

The program came to an end, "Before we close, we want to honor and recognize and elite woman who has provided a great service to the community," the MC said.  

"What, is she talking about me?"  I became a little uncomfortable and she went on to explain the health program that we did and the success of the program.

WOW, I was speechless!!

They awarded me with flowers and a certificate as an elite women in the community.

WOW!!  I was happy and surprised at the same time. I didn't think I did that much to be honore, but WOW!!

After the event there were pictures and I left a little giddy. I was still shocked. This was such a sweet gesture.

I got home and walked in the door and wanted to share this with someone....

No one was there.....

The only person I thought about was Mister.....

In situations like this, I would call him. He would be happy for me and I would enjoy sharing this with him.....

But.....

He's not here. I wanted to be mad at him for not being there. Which is crazy because I'm not his girlfriends. We aren't together.....which made me feel even more lonely.

Is this what my life is going to be like?

Happy events, but no one to share it with??

I became teary eyed...

*SIGH*

But, I'm not gonna cry!!