"Can I have a hug," I asked confidently. He reaching for me...I put my arms around his neck and we squeezed each other as tightly as we could, standing there in the parking lot with oversized coats on.....The sun was shining brightly, the temperature was almost 60 degrees. An odd day for January.
I wanted to hold on longer, but I was surprised. He was shaking. At first I thoutht it was the cold, but I realized it was nervousness. I really really wanted to hold on to him until he stopped shaking, but we were out in public and it was kind of awkward....I let go and he did the same.
*REWIND to a day before*
My car was stolen and I had to get a rental. So I took advantage of that and decided to drive 3 hours to see Mister. I texted him that evening asking if he was busy on that Saturday. I then told him that I would be coming his way. He texted me back saying how EXCITED he was that I was gonna be coming to see him. He even said that he was shaking and apologized if he was spelling words incorrectly, but he really REALLY wanted to see me, so he couldn't contain his excitement. I was happy that he was excited, but cautious also, in which I told him. He said he understood.
I told him that I did NOT want to see his girlfriend, so I WAS NOT going to come into his apartment. He agreed to that and texted me this really REALLY long message that I did not get. Then he text me something about "where's my droid" app that I didn't understand until the next day....
Anyway, I got on the highway around 7:30am with the hopes of being in town around 10am. I texted him before I left and asked for his address. No response. I texted an hour later, "What is your address?" Again no response. A half and hour later, I called...Voicemail. WHAT???? I became concerned. I wasn't going to keep driving if plans had changed. So I called again and again no answer. So, I turned around. I had been driving for an hour and half and I didn't know if he still wanted to see me...So after driving back 45 miles, I stopped and got a call from him. He was sleep. I was livid.
WOW...some excitement. I mean, if I was excited to see someone, I'd be up at the crack of dawn getting prepared.
But, not Mister. He was sleep. He stayed up to 4am. I told him that I just turned back to go home. We talked a little while longer. I got a text from my boss asking me to come to work. OMG. I'm 45 miles from home, over 100 miles from Mister. What do I do....
I decided to forgo money to see him. Besides I handn't seen him in 5 years.
When I finally got to his place (3 hours later because I got lost and I stopped twice). I was happy to see him. He came down to my car and we both started talking at once.....*Smile*. I guess I was nervous too. I wanted to get out of the car and go to hug him, but I didn't want his girlfriend to see me. Plus, he smelled like smoke. I HATE the smell of cigarette smoke. He knows I HATE the smell of smoke.....I guess he was even more nervous when I was late getting there. I kidded him about not being awake. He showed me the super long text that he sent me detailing where he lived and then he explained the "where's my droid," text. Basically, if I didn't respond to him, I was supposed to text, "where's my droid" to his phone and it would send this shrilling sound for about 5 minutes. That would wake him up. In his super long text he also mentioned that it would be nice to have "sexual relations." WHAT?????
I was shocked!!!!!!
Did he think I was coming to have sex with him?????? Who said anything about sex. I wanted to walk around downtown. Sex was the last thing on my mind.
We decided to go to the art museum and when we got out the car, that's when we hugged. A good hug, a nervous hug, a "I miss you" hug.... He was shaking violently as we hugged which made me pull away. I wanted to hug the nerves away, but I didn't think I could, so I let go....not really wanting to....but I did.
As we walked to the door, his hand brushed mine and just like second nature, he grabbed mine and we walked hand in hand through the museum. I HAD A BLAST!!!! It was THE BEST DATE I've had in a LONG time...since, since, since.....
The last good date I had was January 2010 with Coach, which was not really a date, but kind of was....
Anyway, we spend the next 6 hours walking around the museum....We walked up to the LOVE sign and he asked for kiss. I wanted to kiss him, but the smoke....the cigarette smoke was horrible. We kissed anyway, but I couldn't enjoy it because the taste of cigarettes were still lingering on his tongue. Curse those cigarettes. My heart and my body wanted to enjoy it, but my brain couldn't get past the taste. Bleh.....
We would have spent more time together, but it started raining really really hard. My signal to leave. Thank God he sent the rain because I'm not sure if I would have been able to just leave on my own accord. I dropped him back off and walked him to the door. We hugged and kissed again. This time the cigarettes were gone, but I told him NOT to smoke if I see him again. He agreed. I ran back to the car and forgot......
I called him back to the car. He jumped back in and I gave him his present.....He would be celebrating a birthday in a few days and I wanted him to know that I didn't forget. After all these years...I still remembered. He girlfriend was looking out the window. He ran back in. As he went inside another woman was leaving. He hugged her...I pulled off.....
I'm glad I went. Now I realize that even though I love him, I'm not IN LOVE with him. I don't think I was ever IN LOVE with him. As a matter of fact visiting him helped me to realize that we acutally have nothing in common except for maybe....sex. Even though we had a good time hanging out...we still don't have much in common. He only went to the museum with me because that's what I wanted to do. He's not into that kind of thing at all....So, even though I wish the past was different between us, there is definitely no future.
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