Dissapointments

This summer is NOT going well AT ALL!!

We were notified that we got the grant. We had been planning and planning for about 2 months. When we got notice, we were in full planning mode. However, I was hesitant. I kept asking to see the contract. We never receive a contract....

A week later we were told that we DID NOT have the grant. I was calm. It didn't surprise me. My counterpart was befuddled. So she scrambled to get things up and running. I wasn't moving. I was waiting and praying.

Well, we got everything up and running for summer camp, but it was a ROCKY road. I mean we were going back and forth and back and forth. It was BANANAS and it's been three weeks and it's still BANANAS.

Right before summer camp started I wanted to just SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN. But, I didn't say anything. Now, I'm wishing we did because it's just BANANAS. We've already had to deal with attitudes and a worker who is volunteering being talked about. Attitudes with another volunteer staff and I slipped and said something that I shouldn't have said. Nothing major I just did an air ball comment about one of the campers. No I wasn't talking about one of the campers, but she did an air ball and I said air ball. Not very professional.

I also have to confess that I haven't had nice feelings about one of the volunteers. Not that I don't like her, but it is something about her that I have never been quite comfortable with, so I've kind of kept her at arms length and now things are getting bad because she's feeling the disconnection with not just me, but others who are here because of some of the things she's said about people.

I NEED God to help me!!! HELP ME, PLEASE!!!

I want a clean heart. I want a pure heart. There are somethings that I just don' t want to know because I WANT a clean heart!!

God, I don't want evil in my heart!!!

God help me!!!