Send It I Pray

It's been a while....I've got a lot to say, just not much motivation, but since this is the last week of the year, I need to recap. I'll start with what's going on right now...

Mister is in town. I know, I know, I know....

I had a lapse of sensible judgement and went to visit him last weekend and it was GREAT! Then my brother asked me to go to Ohio for Christmas and the only reason I agreed to go was because I made it in my mind that I wanted to spend Christmas with Mister, so that's what I did.

Wrong move...

I ended the night praying to God and promising NEVER to be with Mister again. I had an allergy attack and around 3am, I could not breath. I thought I was gonna end up in the ER, but I went to Walgreens and got some meds that had ephedrine in it. It worked, but then I had the shakes and my heart felt like it was gonna beat out of my chest. If being with Mister didn't kill me, I was for sure that medicine would.  During my time with Mister, my sister got engaged....

Yes, I got a call around 10am from my aunt on Christmas day asking me if it was for real that my sister got engaged. I jumped up out of the bed. I was so mad that I missed it!! Dag...I rushed to Ohio and sure enough, her bf proposed at 2am and my other sis posted the pics on FB. Dang it....

So, I asked my sis about how she was going to get married and she said, "We going to Niagara Falls."

DAG!!!

I'm happy for her, but Niagara Falls was my plan.

Now I gotta come up with a new plan. Then of course I have to fight the urge to want to compare myself to my sister....she's got the house that is paid off, the man, and the ring....

I've got an apartment, $50,000 in debt, and my bed is cold at night.  NOPE, I REFUSE to compare myself. I am truly happy for her, but I do question God. Actually, I understand why I am where I am...but, my sister don't love God. I do and I've been striving....striving....striving.....No matter what, I will get the focus off stuff and things and keep my focus on what God has told me!!!

He hasn't forgotten about me.

In the midst of all of this, I've been on Plenty of Fish and I met a guy, let's call him Secret because he is mysterious. He's nice and has a GREAT job and has a lot of qualities I like, but I don't think he's the one for me. I prayed about him and God gave me a dream...

I'll talk about that dream in another post....but there was another guy that I met and after texting for a while, I realized that we met before--in August 2013. This excited me, but I was disappointed because just as had happened in 2013, the same happened now--NOTHING!!

Then Mister came to town and we spent time together while he was in town. Bad move again....I can't seem to shake him. What is going on?

He just sent me this pic....It's beautiful...

He created these symbols for himself and his three children. His symbol is the circle within the circle with the line going through--The moon bound to the earth, the second is the sun/son rising--for his son, the third is his angel for Angela, and the fourth is light for Talia.

He told me he also had a symbol for me, but it's in storage somewhere.

Anyway, now it's the new year and I'm excited (apprehensive) about the potential. My goal is still to buy a house and I've got $2500 saved so far and the house I want is $47,000, so I have the 3.65% for the down payment for the FHA loan, but I'm trying to save at least 10%.

I'm also signed up for an online class this spring. so school is still going on.