Dag....change is hard, BUT NECESSARY!!
I signed up for POF....again. I didn't know I was THAT girl. You know, the girl who couldn't stay single, the girl who needs a man. Yea, her!
When did I become her. I mean, I know Mister and I finally called it quits and I don't have any male relationships outside of church, but HER, REALLY? I thought I was more sound and stable than that. I guess not!!
Admission is the first step. So here I am admitting that I have a problem with being alone. Not being single. I'm okay with being single. I mean, I live by myself and I enjoy living by myself--I can walk around sans clothing and not wash the dishes if I want to and I won't here one word about it, but alone....that's a whole other problem. Alone is a problem and I don't like it so to fix my aloneness I do stupid stuff like sign up for POF. This time I even said that I'm not looking for a commitment. Who does that? THAT girl does. And sure enough the first response I got was from a douchbag. UGH!!
So, I had to be reminded about this change.
I am in a transformation stage. And I must keep transforming. And God had to remind me of that tonight. And I thank God for HIS LOVE and for reminding me that alone is not forever. Also, that it doesn't hurt me not to have a man. No it doesn't feel good, but I won't die. So, finish the transition. I was even going to go flirting with this cute guy that has been smiling at me at Kroger. Not just any smile, but a staring smile. He works there. I don't know anything about him, but usually when I'm in the grocery store, people pass by and if I don't know them, they just pass, but this guy--he smiles and lingers. Yep, I was going to flirt BIG TIME. I was going to pull out all the stops and get me a date. But, I had to be reminded. That used to be me. As a matter of fact, when that was me, it ALWAYS got me into trouble. ALWAYS!!
Ain't that just like the devil. Seductive...dangit. BUT, I thank God. I just deleted my POF profile and I didn't go to that Krogers I went to the one all the way in another town. Yep, no temptation here. THANK YOU GOD!!
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