I walked into my uncle's log cabin house and I was blown away!!
My uncle (great-uncle actually) used to be the Fire Chief. Before that he was a fireman. He served with the fire department fro 39 years. Everyone knows that most firemen have second jobs--they work for 3 days round the clock, then they are home for 4 days during the week. That time at home, they need to do something and if they don't have small children at home, they have a second job. Many have their own businesses.
My uncle had his own business. He was a Volkswagon repair guy. He had a repair shop and he would restore and repair Volkswagons. He was so good that people would just give him cars and he would restore them, sell them really cheap then make all his money repairing and maintaining them for the people. He got rich with that repair shop and when he retired, he and his wife built their dream house-- a beautiful 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom log cabin house in the country. I say it's in the woods because his house sits on 20 acres of land. Part of the land is rented out to soybean farmers and the rest is forest. He has a pond stocked with catfish, bluegill, and bass. The two guest bedrooms are used by deer hunters during deer season as a sleeping post. He gets a portion of what they hunt as payment. His basement is a service restaurant with numbered tables, a bar, two pool tables and slot machines to keep company entertained. He has well water and his power bill is only $25 a month (not including all the taxes and fees which add another $25). He's a frugal man, always have been. The power company knocked on his door and wanted to know if he was stealing electricity. After explaining to them that he's not doing anything illegal--he simply unplugs everything except for the fridge he then told them that he was offended and would sue them if they accused him of stealing. He monitors his usage everyday. He showed me how.
I left his how so filled with inspiration!!
Oh My God!!!!!!
There is one thing though....there is no God in his life. At least none that I hear about and even though I left his house feeling like I wanted to move to the country, I wanted God even more. If I'm going to amass that type of house and that type of wealth, I want to use it to glorify God!! Because even though a person can work hard and live extravagantly, they can't breathe without God.
I CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT GOD!!!
Right now...I'm sitting here on my sofa a little weepy because I just got the news that one of my former students was killed in a car accident.
How can we live life without God? When we leave this place, our spirit goes somewhere and God is our creator and He wants us back, but if we don't live this life acknowledging him and glorifying him, then our soul will be lost. Eternity is longer than the life we live here on earth. My uncle is a spry 75 year old and I had a blast with him--he taught me how to fish and took me all around the house showing me the architecture and how he conserves energy and saves water by using rain barrels, but when he leaves this place, the beautiful home will still be here. As a matter of fact someone else will live in it because his wife said she will sell it--(his wife is considerably younger than him and she still works in a city about 45 miles from where they live and she has a problem living in the house because of her allergies and all the pollen. Also, when the road get bad in the winter time she has to have a way to get to work, so she rents an apartment in the town where she works.)
Anyway....
I left his home almost in tears because I was so filled with emotions. I'm emotional now (with the bad news) and when I'm emotional like this, it makes me want to be close to someone, but I had no one. I almost logged back into FB (I deactivated my account) to contact Mister for some comfort, but that would not be a wise thing to do. So my comfort has to come from God--the Holy Spirit. He has to comfort me.
So, even though my goal will be to be like my uncle, the difference is that I want to serve God and I want my life to exemplify Christ.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Thursday, May 5, 2016
5 Miles Down
Today is my birthday....
And I wanted to sleep in, but God had other plans.
I got a call from my baby sis at 6:03am wishing me a happy b-day. Then Dec called me at 6:21am with a powerpoint malfunction. HUH?? So, I had to get up at that point. I put my clothes on and headed to the business expo to fix the powerpoint. It took me all of about a minute. At that point, I was up and at 'em so I headed to the gym.
I started my couch to 5k training today and it felt good. I wasn't too tired. I ran about 2 miles in 20 minutes. I did take a small nap before I headed to my group couch to 5k training and I ran another 3 miles. Dang, it felt good.
Thank God for another birthday. I've been eating better and I've lost 15lbs. I have another dr's appt for May 17. We'll see how that goes.
Thank you God!!!!
I got a call from my baby sis at 6:03am wishing me a happy b-day. Then Dec called me at 6:21am with a powerpoint malfunction. HUH?? So, I had to get up at that point. I put my clothes on and headed to the business expo to fix the powerpoint. It took me all of about a minute. At that point, I was up and at 'em so I headed to the gym.
I started my couch to 5k training today and it felt good. I wasn't too tired. I ran about 2 miles in 20 minutes. I did take a small nap before I headed to my group couch to 5k training and I ran another 3 miles. Dang, it felt good.
Thank God for another birthday. I've been eating better and I've lost 15lbs. I have another dr's appt for May 17. We'll see how that goes.
Thank you God!!!!
Friday, April 29, 2016
38 Years
"And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years...." John 5.
I am 38 years old and this is my year of recovery and healing--spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically. God's word says so.....there have been things that I have dealt with my whole life. I was born to a unwed, teenage mom. That brought on a lot of problems within itself--poverty being number one. I've suffered molestation, incest, low self-esteem, promiscuity, depression, thyroiditis, fibroids, and a myriad of unhealthy decisions in my life due to my upbringing and lack of knowledge. But, after 38 years, Jesus told the man to GET UP AND WALK.....
Walk away from all that hurt and pain and everything that has kept him bound.
So I'm walking....I'm taking everything thing that I've dealt with that has kept me lame and crippled with the inability to fulfill my purpose....I'm taking it and I'm walking in my purpose. And Jesus told the man, "Don't return to a life of sin or something worse will happen to you."
God I hear you LOUD & CLEAR!!
I am 38 years old and this is my year of recovery and healing--spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically. God's word says so.....there have been things that I have dealt with my whole life. I was born to a unwed, teenage mom. That brought on a lot of problems within itself--poverty being number one. I've suffered molestation, incest, low self-esteem, promiscuity, depression, thyroiditis, fibroids, and a myriad of unhealthy decisions in my life due to my upbringing and lack of knowledge. But, after 38 years, Jesus told the man to GET UP AND WALK.....
Walk away from all that hurt and pain and everything that has kept him bound.
So I'm walking....I'm taking everything thing that I've dealt with that has kept me lame and crippled with the inability to fulfill my purpose....I'm taking it and I'm walking in my purpose. And Jesus told the man, "Don't return to a life of sin or something worse will happen to you."
God I hear you LOUD & CLEAR!!
My HEALTHY Uterus
I was pretty weepy on last Friday. I had my annual exam and it didn't go well. Well, the exam went well, but the results weren't favorable.
Background...
In 2011, I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. I had THE WORST CRAMPS EVER. I started popping pills. I had to, the pain was so unbearable that I could barely see. Every six hours, I was taking tylenol for about a week. This happened for about 3 months. I would pray to God because at this time I didn't have health insurance. One day while in church the speaker was speaking and he said, "Some of you are popping pills and won't believe that God will heal you...." At that very moment lifted up my hand and said to God, "I thank you for healing me, in Jesus name." And that was it. I didn't experience anymore pain, just normal cramps.
I didn't know what was wrong with my, but I knew it involved my reproductive organs. I had a friend who had the same issue and she elected to get a hysterectomy. I didn't want to do that. I want children. I had a IUD in place from 2004 to 2012. In 2015 during my annual exam my doctor noticed a fibroid. She said it seemed to be about golf ball size. She asked me if I had heavy bleeding or really bad cramps. I told her that I didn't. Actually, my periods were the most normal that it has ever been. So she said, we would just watch it to see if it gets larger.
This year I went to my exam and she noticed that my uterus was enlarged. So we did an ultrasound.....multiple fibroids was the diagnosis. When I asked the technician how many she said, "Well......" This didn't sound good, "When a woman has this many we usually watch the three largest," One was 6 cm, 4cm, and then a little smaller than that.
OMG....I was trying to stay calm.
When I left there I was weepy. I didn't know what to do. I had to talk to myself, but I was freaking out. What does this mean? Will I be able to have children? Will this turn to cancer? Will this get worse?
I was praying to God to help me because I didn't want to freak out. It's not good to make decisions when you are emotional and I was really emotional. I needed some relief. I went to get a bottle or wine and I was going to call Mister. I needed to talk to someone....
Instead I called Tonya. She talked to me and encouraged me. She said that she had a fibroid and that she prayed and it shrunk.
So, I remembered in 2011 when I prayed. The fibroids were probably growing then, but who knows. Also, the fibroids could have grown after the IUD was removed. There is no way to tell, but now I need God's healing power again.
I can't help but think that all the years of promiscuity is catching up with me. God can't be mocked, when we sow to our flesh, we reap in our flesh, but thank God that the reaping doesn't last always. It's been yeas since those wild days. Actually, when I think about it, I've only had sex with 2 men since 2010---Mister and Coach. And I'm working on myself--staying pure. So, this is recovery time for me. I'm just going to stand on the word of God and get through this....
Background...
In 2011, I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. I had THE WORST CRAMPS EVER. I started popping pills. I had to, the pain was so unbearable that I could barely see. Every six hours, I was taking tylenol for about a week. This happened for about 3 months. I would pray to God because at this time I didn't have health insurance. One day while in church the speaker was speaking and he said, "Some of you are popping pills and won't believe that God will heal you...." At that very moment lifted up my hand and said to God, "I thank you for healing me, in Jesus name." And that was it. I didn't experience anymore pain, just normal cramps.
I didn't know what was wrong with my, but I knew it involved my reproductive organs. I had a friend who had the same issue and she elected to get a hysterectomy. I didn't want to do that. I want children. I had a IUD in place from 2004 to 2012. In 2015 during my annual exam my doctor noticed a fibroid. She said it seemed to be about golf ball size. She asked me if I had heavy bleeding or really bad cramps. I told her that I didn't. Actually, my periods were the most normal that it has ever been. So she said, we would just watch it to see if it gets larger.
This year I went to my exam and she noticed that my uterus was enlarged. So we did an ultrasound.....multiple fibroids was the diagnosis. When I asked the technician how many she said, "Well......" This didn't sound good, "When a woman has this many we usually watch the three largest," One was 6 cm, 4cm, and then a little smaller than that.
OMG....I was trying to stay calm.
When I left there I was weepy. I didn't know what to do. I had to talk to myself, but I was freaking out. What does this mean? Will I be able to have children? Will this turn to cancer? Will this get worse?
I was praying to God to help me because I didn't want to freak out. It's not good to make decisions when you are emotional and I was really emotional. I needed some relief. I went to get a bottle or wine and I was going to call Mister. I needed to talk to someone....
Instead I called Tonya. She talked to me and encouraged me. She said that she had a fibroid and that she prayed and it shrunk.
So, I remembered in 2011 when I prayed. The fibroids were probably growing then, but who knows. Also, the fibroids could have grown after the IUD was removed. There is no way to tell, but now I need God's healing power again.
I can't help but think that all the years of promiscuity is catching up with me. God can't be mocked, when we sow to our flesh, we reap in our flesh, but thank God that the reaping doesn't last always. It's been yeas since those wild days. Actually, when I think about it, I've only had sex with 2 men since 2010---Mister and Coach. And I'm working on myself--staying pure. So, this is recovery time for me. I'm just going to stand on the word of God and get through this....
Why Would You Attack Yourself?
2016, a year of double for me....a year of recovery for me!
I have been active in my recovery....recovery in my finances, my health, my spirit, my mind, my entire being. One of the things that I've been working on is my health. I went to the doctor in February and there were all types of test run. I'm still waiting on my results from my stool and saliva samples (GROSS), but I got the results from my blood test. It's not different from the test I had in 2012 when the doctor told me I was fine. No, I'm not fine. I have a goiter and nodules on my thyroid. How is that fine? So my new doctor did all the thyroid test and my TPO test was abnormally high, still. In 2012, it was 263 and in 2016 it was 241. The normal range is 0-34. I've been diagnosed with Hashimoto Thyroiditis. This is an autoimmune disease. Our immune system is supposed to protect us; when we get a foreigner inside our body, our immune system goes to work, it attacks that invader whether it's a bacteria, virus, fungus and it works to eliminate it. However, sometimes the immune system gets confused and it attacks the wrong thing--friendly fire. With autoimmune, the immune system attacks the body.
Why would that happen?
I mean, I understand collateral damage, when I take antibiotics, sometimes the good bacteria is killed with the bad bacteria, but why would my body attack itself?
I LOVE ME? So why attack myself? Who does that? Who destroys themselves? This is evil!!
This is the reason for my recovery!!!
Over the years I have not treated my body well. I ate badly--WAY TOO MUCH SUGAR, and I didn't keep up with my fitness routine, I was highly promiscuous....it wasn't good. So my body is attacking me, like I was doing. Now I have to heal. And by the GRACE of GOD I am healing.
I have been active in my recovery....recovery in my finances, my health, my spirit, my mind, my entire being. One of the things that I've been working on is my health. I went to the doctor in February and there were all types of test run. I'm still waiting on my results from my stool and saliva samples (GROSS), but I got the results from my blood test. It's not different from the test I had in 2012 when the doctor told me I was fine. No, I'm not fine. I have a goiter and nodules on my thyroid. How is that fine? So my new doctor did all the thyroid test and my TPO test was abnormally high, still. In 2012, it was 263 and in 2016 it was 241. The normal range is 0-34. I've been diagnosed with Hashimoto Thyroiditis. This is an autoimmune disease. Our immune system is supposed to protect us; when we get a foreigner inside our body, our immune system goes to work, it attacks that invader whether it's a bacteria, virus, fungus and it works to eliminate it. However, sometimes the immune system gets confused and it attacks the wrong thing--friendly fire. With autoimmune, the immune system attacks the body.
Why would that happen?
I mean, I understand collateral damage, when I take antibiotics, sometimes the good bacteria is killed with the bad bacteria, but why would my body attack itself?
I LOVE ME? So why attack myself? Who does that? Who destroys themselves? This is evil!!
This is the reason for my recovery!!!
Over the years I have not treated my body well. I ate badly--WAY TOO MUCH SUGAR, and I didn't keep up with my fitness routine, I was highly promiscuous....it wasn't good. So my body is attacking me, like I was doing. Now I have to heal. And by the GRACE of GOD I am healing.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Don't Get Sucked Back In!!
I've made that mistake before....
Back in 2007 I prayed and prayed every day for God to save me. I wanted to live a holy life and I want my life to represent Christ. But, I was stuck; stuck in a bad relationship with a man who didn't believe in Christ. So, I prayed for God to free me from that relationship and he did. In August 2007 that man was layed off from his job and he moved to another state. I was free and I was happy. However, a few years later in 2011 me and that guy reconnected.
WHY??
I have no idea!!!!!
But we did and this ended badly in February of this year and even though it ended badly, I'm glad it ended because it wasn't taking me anywhere good. I was drowning.
So, he deleted my number, but I realized he didn't delete me from FB. UGH!! I hate FB. DANG IT!!
I was so surprised to get his message today....
Dag!!!
I can't get sucked back in anymore. FATHER, HELP ME!!
Whom son has set free is free indeed--John 8:36
Back in 2007 I prayed and prayed every day for God to save me. I wanted to live a holy life and I want my life to represent Christ. But, I was stuck; stuck in a bad relationship with a man who didn't believe in Christ. So, I prayed for God to free me from that relationship and he did. In August 2007 that man was layed off from his job and he moved to another state. I was free and I was happy. However, a few years later in 2011 me and that guy reconnected.
WHY??
I have no idea!!!!!
But we did and this ended badly in February of this year and even though it ended badly, I'm glad it ended because it wasn't taking me anywhere good. I was drowning.
So, he deleted my number, but I realized he didn't delete me from FB. UGH!! I hate FB. DANG IT!!
I was so surprised to get his message today....
Dag!!!
I can't get sucked back in anymore. FATHER, HELP ME!!
Whom son has set free is free indeed--John 8:36
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Rejection Letter: Moving Along
I was talking to my friend and she wants to start a business, but her credit score was low. I was telling her my woes and she told me the same thing that the housing people told me--get a credit card and I didn't want to do it, but I applied for a Kroger credit card.....
FAIL
They sent me a rejection letter. Yep....UGH. I probably should have gotten a secured card, but I didn't go that route. My score went down 2 points because of that. Now I'm at 618, when I was at 636 last year this time. DANG!!!
I keep thinking about my house though and the first one I looked it is now $3000 less and I really want it, but my credit score is not good enough for my bank right now. I just have to move along and really really really work on my debt free plan. I did pay $2000 on my student loan. That didn't move the needle at all.
I just gotta keep moving along!!
FAIL
They sent me a rejection letter. Yep....UGH. I probably should have gotten a secured card, but I didn't go that route. My score went down 2 points because of that. Now I'm at 618, when I was at 636 last year this time. DANG!!!
I keep thinking about my house though and the first one I looked it is now $3000 less and I really want it, but my credit score is not good enough for my bank right now. I just have to move along and really really really work on my debt free plan. I did pay $2000 on my student loan. That didn't move the needle at all.
I just gotta keep moving along!!
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