Background....
When Golfer and I first started talking we always had to debate about men and women being friends. He was adamant that it was impossible. His rational was that someone would always want something different from the other. I was always bucking that thinking because men and women have to look past what's between legs. I mean I am more than just my vagina and I have more to offer than just my vagina. I'm a good friend and I can be a good friend to a man. I thought maybe over the past two years we got past that, but the last time I talked to him he reminded me that we are only friends because we don't live in the same city--he lives west of Chicago. So I just began to back away. I already have enough insecurities, I don't need someone who plays into to those insecurities.
But one thing I loved is that we could talk. Not necessarily talk about everything, but talk. One of the last conversations we were having was him asking me what I thought about him and relationships. I didn't want to offend him by telling him that his insecurities keep him from committing to a relationship so I just told him that he didn't want to commit. Which is true. He has a commitment problem but its caused by his insecurities. So he was defensive about this and he told me that I didn't know him at all. I know him, I just didn't want to offend him and in not wanting to offend him I offended him. WOW!
But I miss the relationship....the relating. And that's what I want. Someone to talk to. But I want to talk to someone who is a believer because there is a comradery an encouragement....If Perry wants to be friends so we could talk, I'd talk to him. I'm in that state where the Golfer is right now. My insecurities are causing me not to want to be in a relationship right now. And I need God to deliver me from these insecurities, in Jesus name!
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