Thank God for Angels

God is So GOOD! I'm amazed at His love and His grace. I'm sitting here almost in tears because I just got off the phone with one of my mentors, Dr Freddie A Banks. I haven't seen him in a couple of years--since maybe 2012 when he was being honored by his city. 

Dr Banks was one of my advisors in college. He was passionate about helping minority students to become teachers. And in doing so he inspired so many of us. 

I'm not much of a social media person so every once in a while I will delete every thing and when I get back on I have to refriend people. I got a friend request about a week ago from a fellow college mate, Perry Hill IV. Of course when you accept you have to scroll through the timeline to catch up on a person's life. Not sure if he did that of me, but I looked at his timeline life. He reached out to me on last night to tell me that Dr Banks would love to hear from me. But his message wasn't just that. There was "something" there. I wasn't sure what and it was almost 10pm and I was in bed, and I didn't want to read into anything so I responded that I'd love to talk to Dr Banks....

THU 10:21 PM

Hello How are you? I spoke to Dr. Banks today and he mentioned you. He wondered how you were and reminisced about your surprise presence at an appreciation event months ago. Would you be willing to call him if I relay you his phone number? On another note, we will have chat soon.

Hey Perry. Yes I would love to talk to him. I miss you all.

The part at the end is what I didn't want to read into. So I just left it at that. I  called him a little while ago and while talking he told me that he mentioned to Perry that I was a fine young woman and that Perry should get to know me better. 

Whew....I don't even know why I'm getting emotional. I think it's because Perry and I were raised on two different sides of the track and my insecurity tells me that I'm not good enough for that caliber of man--the prim and proper man who has every I dotted and every T crossed. Perry reminds me a Mr Ohio, but only more Christian. Mr Ohio didn't go to church--he was a believer, but not a participator in the every day christian lifestyle. Perry is more of a kingdom minded participant. Dr. Banks let me know that he and Perry are members of the same church--Friendship Baptist Church in E St Louis. He also let me know that Perry is back at home in E St Louis. I mentioned that I visit home to take care of my uncle and he invited me to come visit. Now I'm really self conscious. I've gained weight-almost 30lbs and I'm not very confident in myself--well God is working on my insecurities so going to visit him is not something that I really want to do even though I really want to visit.  

I want to visit and I want to talk to Perry, but timing is everything and I'm so......right now. I mean, I'm so ready for the next chapter in my life, but AM I? I don't want to hang on to the past, but it seems like it's still hanging around and I'm still running away from it. 

As I was thinking of a maybe prospect I remembered Dr Banks and his marriage. I'm not sure when he got married, but it was later in life to a woman who had already had children-7 children I think. And Dr Banks is a prim and proper dude. Oh the possibilities.....