I've Never Had to Say Goodbye

I attended a funeral today. It was short, sweet, quiet. The man was 83 years old, but his death was tragic. He survived a quadruple bypass surgery in August. His sister (who is my friend) came all the way from Pennysylvania to see him because she was sure that this would be the last time she saw her brother. No one thought he was going to make it. The widow-maker was 100% blocked. He survived until Christmas Eve. He was eating with someone and choked...no oxygen to the brain for 15 minutes. I don't know how he wasn't DOA at the hospital. My only thinking was that it was the day before Christmas and no one wants to have a loved one go around Christmas time. They hooked him up to life support and he went peaceably on December 27. His sister (my friend) drove all the way from Pennyslyvania with her daughter to say goodbye.

It's an interesting story how I know this man....

But, I told his sister I would be at the funeral. I sat in the back and listened to all the kind words spoken about this man--how he helped people. When it was time for the last viewing I walked around and then went to his sister. We hugged and kissed and she said to me, "This is the last time I will be in town. I won't be coming back." She's 77 years old. Tears flooded my eyes. I know she won't be coming back. She has no family here, but this sounded so final. Like this was it for her too.

I left the funeral thinking about her. I've always said that I want to be like her and Ms. Judi when I get older. Alive, full of spunk, staring death in the face, daring it to knock on my door. But, when you get to be past 80 I assume you look at it all the time. You wait for it to come.

As I was driving, I just cried.

This was the first time I've had to say goodbye to someone.

I mean, yeah...my daughter died and I had to say goodbye to her, but this was different. I've spent 4 years with this woman and I'm not even sure why she likes me, but I had to tell her goodbye because this was probably the last time I would see her. This made me sad.

When my grandparents died I was't there. I showed up for the funeral and mourned with my family.

But this was different. Realizing that this may be it for someone is not very easy and not something that I want to face.

There has been a lot of death recently and when it's sudden it's hard, but saying good bye and hearing a person tell you goodbye too is hard.....