Companionship

I have not been on a date in AGES...Coach doesn't count.  Actually, now that I think about it, he does because we've gone bowling and out to eat several times, but I guess I say he doesn't count because I wasn't really interested in him like that.  So....I haven't been on a date with a HOT guy that I was interested in, in a long time.  And I don't like being desperate, so I don't put myself "out there" to date. (not sure if I'm making sense).  But, I met a guy....online. It's kind of corny meeting someone online, but it happens...right??

I was at home, bored out of my mind (and tired)...needing companionship with the opposite sex.  I just wanted to talk to somebody.  So,  I logged on to blackplanet just to see who was on and I logged into their chat room.  It was crazy....there was so many people from Africa, Dominica, and other foreign countries...I got frustrated and logged out.  Then I received an IM from RobertScropio....at first I thought it was gonna be more of the same....some foreign guy. But, we had a great chat online which lead to us talking on the phone the next day...Yep, we talked on the phone ALL NIGHT.  Like teenagers!!  It was so cool.  I was uber tired the next day at work, but I was on "cloud 9".  Hmmmmm...this seems familiar.......

We continued to have great communication until Tuesday when I invited him to dinner.  Yes, I stepped out there and invited him to dinner.  He lives in Chi so that means he would had to travel, but I was gonna make arrangements because this was a dinner I was having with my job and since he was gonna be my guest, I wanted to make sure to accommodate him well.  Well, everything fell apart.  We ended up not being able to talk on the phone, internet or anything.  All communication came to a screeching hault.  Of course this was after he told me he didn't have a job....which didn't bother me as much as the fact that he just got out of a two year relationship in Oct 2011 with a woman that he WANTED TO MARRY.  *SIGH*

So, as the communication began to break down, I started to remember the last relationship that I was in.... COACH.  Yes, this is how it started with us.  The first week we were on "cloud 9" and after that everything came to a screeching hault.  WOW, AS THE WORLD TURNS....  Yes, my world was turning...right back around to the same spot I was.  All of these cycles.  The only thing I can wonder is, there must be something that I have got to learn from this to move on.....otherwise, why am I right back where I was.  My mindset HAS changed.  As I was listening to RobertScorpio, I wasn't hearing what I would have liked to hear from a man.  I would like to hear a man speak the word of God.  I would like for him to tell me how he was praying for something and God answered him.  That's what I want to hear.  Not how he thinks all women think that men are dogs and just because he doesn't have a job doesn't mean that he's a bad person and blah, blah, blah....all these theories that he created to make "sense" of the world.  That's not what I want to hear and I'm grateful that God has blessed me with the patience to just sit and listen. Another thing that I learned about myself is that I have to be BOLD in my stance about my faith.  Many people have their own theories, but I'm not one to argue which is why I didn't get into an argument when him when I told him that I only believe in half of what he was saying.  Aparently, it didn't matter to him what I believed because he had already made it up in his mind what I believed.  Sounds familiar......YEP, that's exactly what happened between me and Coach.

So, now here I am sitting here alone...in need of companionship and I'm alone....I'm not really lonely....just alone for now...