I had a dream last night and I was in the house next door to me....(not in my neighborhood) and I was with my neighbor and she told me that she was going to sell her house. And without thinking I told her that I would buy it for $20,000. She then began taking me around the house and I started looking at all the work that would need to be done to get the house up to par and then I was looking at the outside and it was drab and an ugly dark dingy green color. It wasn't a nice house, but it was cheap and I was looking at the price.
The problem with looking at the price is that even though it was cheap and it looked like I could manage the cost, I would have been unhappy and dissatisfied with the house. Then I woke up.
I started thinking about it and what God was trying to say to me....
Before I went to bed I texted Mister and told him that he was worthy of God's love and as I was texting him I could see how he could misconstrue my message. I wasn't saying to him that he was worth my love (not that he isn't), but that he was so valuable to God.
And the dream was reminding me that I don't have to buy something or get involved with something that is going to cause me more distress.
I don't have to marry "down."
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
You NEVER Marry Down....
You always marry up....those were the words spoken by the wisest man that I personally know!
He was encouraging us in the faith and talking about how everything that we are going through in life is by choice....where we are today is because of a choice we made yesterday, etc. Then he made this bold statement, "You never marry down, you always marry up!" That bore witness in my spirit because I have been making myself available and I've been meeting various guys who are interested in me.
One guy who keeps calling and messaging me on FB is "down." I mean, when we went out to eat, I had to pick him up. And then when we went to pay for the bill, he didn't know to put his money in the black bill fold that they give you. He took the receipt out and just gave the bill fold back to the waitress and he was holding his money in his hand. The waitress took the bill fold and went away to settle the bill and she came back awkwardly because there was no money in it. Then when he paid, she brought the bill fold back with his change in it. He didn't know what to do. He joked with her and when he realized that the money was in the bill fold, he told her jokingly, "when I hand you my money, that's what I want you to do, hand it back to me so I can see it...." He said it jokingly, but he was serious. You can tell he didn't understand the bill fold. And I just questioned within myself if he had ever been to a "sit-down" restaurant where they have bill folds? I mean....
Anyway, after that we hadn't spoken and it's not just because of that situation, but because he has some other things going on in his life. I gathered that he living with roommates and that he was trying to get some things together in his life.
Another guy I met stood me up trice...not twice, but THREE times. DAAAANNNGGGGGGG.......
Then there is Mister. He and I had a long text convo about God and it ended with me telling him that his relationship with the devil is synonymous with his daughter's relationship with her abusive bf. The devil has his mind so twisted and perverted to the truth that he can't see the trees for the forest. Just like his daughter can't believe that her bf really doesn't love her because abuse isn't love.....
As I was praying at church tonight I just kept hearing God tell me that I'm valuable.
WOW!!!!!
The other day as I was texting Mister I sent him three pics of engagement rings that I like--$5000, $3000, and $2500. I told him the one that I really liked and then I asked him if he though that was too expensive. He didn't say yes or no, but he did say that they could cost more. LOL.
I said all that to say that, yes, I could settle for something cheaper, there are rings that cost only a few hundred bucks, but am I worth more than that? I mean, I'm not 20-something anymore and really, the $5K ring I could buy myself, so if I could buy it myself, then I expect that my man can buy it for me.
Sometimes I struggle with those types of thoughts because I don't want to seem materialistic and I don't want to be haughty, but when God says that He has cattle on a thousand hills and what He has he can give to me, as a child of God, then, why settle for a ring that's only worth a few hundred.
And the thing is I'm valuable enough by God, so why can't I be valuable enough to a man?
There are people who live in mansions who don't love God.
Why can't I?
There are people who can afford to wipe their behinds with Benjamins....
Why can't I have Benjamins to buy a Mercedes?
I'M JUST SAYING......
So, I'm not looking down anymore!! Jesus is the lifter of my head!!!! LOVE HAS LIFTED ME!!!!!
He was encouraging us in the faith and talking about how everything that we are going through in life is by choice....where we are today is because of a choice we made yesterday, etc. Then he made this bold statement, "You never marry down, you always marry up!" That bore witness in my spirit because I have been making myself available and I've been meeting various guys who are interested in me.
One guy who keeps calling and messaging me on FB is "down." I mean, when we went out to eat, I had to pick him up. And then when we went to pay for the bill, he didn't know to put his money in the black bill fold that they give you. He took the receipt out and just gave the bill fold back to the waitress and he was holding his money in his hand. The waitress took the bill fold and went away to settle the bill and she came back awkwardly because there was no money in it. Then when he paid, she brought the bill fold back with his change in it. He didn't know what to do. He joked with her and when he realized that the money was in the bill fold, he told her jokingly, "when I hand you my money, that's what I want you to do, hand it back to me so I can see it...." He said it jokingly, but he was serious. You can tell he didn't understand the bill fold. And I just questioned within myself if he had ever been to a "sit-down" restaurant where they have bill folds? I mean....
Anyway, after that we hadn't spoken and it's not just because of that situation, but because he has some other things going on in his life. I gathered that he living with roommates and that he was trying to get some things together in his life.
Another guy I met stood me up trice...not twice, but THREE times. DAAAANNNGGGGGGG.......
Then there is Mister. He and I had a long text convo about God and it ended with me telling him that his relationship with the devil is synonymous with his daughter's relationship with her abusive bf. The devil has his mind so twisted and perverted to the truth that he can't see the trees for the forest. Just like his daughter can't believe that her bf really doesn't love her because abuse isn't love.....
As I was praying at church tonight I just kept hearing God tell me that I'm valuable.
WOW!!!!!
The other day as I was texting Mister I sent him three pics of engagement rings that I like--$5000, $3000, and $2500. I told him the one that I really liked and then I asked him if he though that was too expensive. He didn't say yes or no, but he did say that they could cost more. LOL.
I said all that to say that, yes, I could settle for something cheaper, there are rings that cost only a few hundred bucks, but am I worth more than that? I mean, I'm not 20-something anymore and really, the $5K ring I could buy myself, so if I could buy it myself, then I expect that my man can buy it for me.
Sometimes I struggle with those types of thoughts because I don't want to seem materialistic and I don't want to be haughty, but when God says that He has cattle on a thousand hills and what He has he can give to me, as a child of God, then, why settle for a ring that's only worth a few hundred.
And the thing is I'm valuable enough by God, so why can't I be valuable enough to a man?
There are people who live in mansions who don't love God.
Why can't I?
There are people who can afford to wipe their behinds with Benjamins....
Why can't I have Benjamins to buy a Mercedes?
I'M JUST SAYING......
So, I'm not looking down anymore!! Jesus is the lifter of my head!!!! LOVE HAS LIFTED ME!!!!!
Saturday, January 9, 2016
FundRaising
Need:
Chef--prepare appetizers for guest
Bartender--prepare signature drinks
Artist--teach paint class
Sushi/Appetizers--Station for preparation (food, supplies)
Bartender--station for preparation (drinks, supplies)
Artist--space for class (materials, supplies) **Update...I'm up at 2am because I have not been able to sleep. The scripture that came to mind was Deuteronomy 8:18 where it says that it is God who gives us the ability to get wealth...so thank God for HIS word....
Chef--prepare appetizers for guest
Bartender--prepare signature drinks
Artist--teach paint class
Sushi/Appetizers--Station for preparation (food, supplies)
Bartender--station for preparation (drinks, supplies)
Artist--space for class (materials, supplies) **Update...I'm up at 2am because I have not been able to sleep. The scripture that came to mind was Deuteronomy 8:18 where it says that it is God who gives us the ability to get wealth...so thank God for HIS word....
No More Fantasies
If you have dreams that don't come true, they are just fantasies. --William S. Rogers, Jr.
In March 2014 I had a dream about a yellow baby boy I was taking care of. When I had the dream I thought it was my baby God was showing me, but it turned out to be my cousin's baby. In May of that same year I had a dream and I was praying for someone with a 'J' name. In June my cousins baby was born and his name is James. God was showing me her baby.
Later on God showed me my sister holding and taking care of a brown baby boy. I got excited because God was showing me my nephew (or I think it's my nephew). My sister hasn't had a baby yet, but she is getting married and I'm happy for her, but I'm still looking for this baby boy....
So I've been praying to God about some things and I have some dreams in my head and my heart and I don't want these to be fantasies.....
In this new year we have been learning about the Law of Beginnings and when we think about the beginning, we think about what Genesis says, "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth..." And the Bible tells us that there was no shape or form. There was a creation, but it didn't look like nothing...there was darkness, but God SAID.....He spoke into existence and the rest is history.
So, these dreams...one that I have in particular.... It's about a fundraiser where I would like to have an open house/fundraiser where we invite a sushi chef to create sushi and people buy sushi and other appetizers and have a bartender and he makes a signature drink and people pay for the drinks, and then we have a painter who does a painting class and people pay to paint...all while we talk about the organization and show them what we do....
I NEED God to speak a word to me....when God created the heaven and earth, nothing happened on earth until He spoke. I NEED GOD to speak to me because if He speaks, then I know this won't fail. I know failure is apart of life, but I've been through enough and mostly I've been through enough because I've done a lot of things on my own....
I can't live this life on my own, so I NEED God to breath on this and speak. If God doesn't speak, I can't do anything. I DON'T WANT to do anything without God speaking!! I've screwed up enough...speak Lord!!!!
In March 2014 I had a dream about a yellow baby boy I was taking care of. When I had the dream I thought it was my baby God was showing me, but it turned out to be my cousin's baby. In May of that same year I had a dream and I was praying for someone with a 'J' name. In June my cousins baby was born and his name is James. God was showing me her baby.
Later on God showed me my sister holding and taking care of a brown baby boy. I got excited because God was showing me my nephew (or I think it's my nephew). My sister hasn't had a baby yet, but she is getting married and I'm happy for her, but I'm still looking for this baby boy....
So I've been praying to God about some things and I have some dreams in my head and my heart and I don't want these to be fantasies.....
In this new year we have been learning about the Law of Beginnings and when we think about the beginning, we think about what Genesis says, "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth..." And the Bible tells us that there was no shape or form. There was a creation, but it didn't look like nothing...there was darkness, but God SAID.....He spoke into existence and the rest is history.
So, these dreams...one that I have in particular.... It's about a fundraiser where I would like to have an open house/fundraiser where we invite a sushi chef to create sushi and people buy sushi and other appetizers and have a bartender and he makes a signature drink and people pay for the drinks, and then we have a painter who does a painting class and people pay to paint...all while we talk about the organization and show them what we do....
I NEED God to speak a word to me....when God created the heaven and earth, nothing happened on earth until He spoke. I NEED GOD to speak to me because if He speaks, then I know this won't fail. I know failure is apart of life, but I've been through enough and mostly I've been through enough because I've done a lot of things on my own....
I can't live this life on my own, so I NEED God to breath on this and speak. If God doesn't speak, I can't do anything. I DON'T WANT to do anything without God speaking!! I've screwed up enough...speak Lord!!!!
Abusive Relationships
When a woman finds herself (or man) in an abusive relationship, it can go two ways.....she can stay or she can run for the hills.
Why would she stay? After all, who wants to be hurt--physically, emotionally, verbally?
Any logical person would just leave. However, some stay. What makes them stay? I mean, that's not love! I don't care how many times he (or she) says, "Baby, I'm sorry..." LOVE doesn't hurt like that!! LOVE NEVER hurt like that!!
Mister and I was having an intense text convo...
His daughter is in an emotionally abusive relationship and he can't figure out why she won't-can't leave.
I told him that he's in the same type of relationship...same song, different singer....
I explained to him that in that type of relationship, the victim has this thought in their mind that they can't do any better, that life can't be better, that they deserve that life and that is exactly where he is in his life.
He has been deeply hurt in his life and that hurt has caused him so much pain that he turned his back on God....thinking that God caused the pain. The pain turned to bitterness and anger and the whole time the enemy has been shaping these thoughts in his mind that God doesn't love him and that God has left him and that he's in this life all by himself....
That's what an abuser does....they plant these thoughts in the victim's mind and those thoughts become seeds and those seeds begin to grow....
There is a fruit that grows in Jamaica called the Ackee fruit. The Ackee fruit can be deadly. Yes, fruit can kill you....and just as this fruit can be deadly, when you have a seed planted in your mind that is against God, it can grow into a root of bitterness and that bitterness can cause death...death of dreams, death or hopes, death of desires, death of happiness and life. And God wants to bring all those things--dreams, hope, desire, happiness, etc.--to you..... The abuser (the devil) doesn't let you see that God loves you, but only that this pain in your life was seemingly caused by God. And since it was caused by God then he can't LOVE....
LIES....ALL LIES....
God allows things in our lives...I told him a Job and how he lost ALL in a small span of time and yet, Job looked at the devil for what he was, an abuser, a thief, a murdered...not once did Job turn his back on God.
Why would she stay? After all, who wants to be hurt--physically, emotionally, verbally?
Any logical person would just leave. However, some stay. What makes them stay? I mean, that's not love! I don't care how many times he (or she) says, "Baby, I'm sorry..." LOVE doesn't hurt like that!! LOVE NEVER hurt like that!!
Mister and I was having an intense text convo...
His daughter is in an emotionally abusive relationship and he can't figure out why she won't-can't leave.
I told him that he's in the same type of relationship...same song, different singer....
I explained to him that in that type of relationship, the victim has this thought in their mind that they can't do any better, that life can't be better, that they deserve that life and that is exactly where he is in his life.
He has been deeply hurt in his life and that hurt has caused him so much pain that he turned his back on God....thinking that God caused the pain. The pain turned to bitterness and anger and the whole time the enemy has been shaping these thoughts in his mind that God doesn't love him and that God has left him and that he's in this life all by himself....
That's what an abuser does....they plant these thoughts in the victim's mind and those thoughts become seeds and those seeds begin to grow....
There is a fruit that grows in Jamaica called the Ackee fruit. The Ackee fruit can be deadly. Yes, fruit can kill you....and just as this fruit can be deadly, when you have a seed planted in your mind that is against God, it can grow into a root of bitterness and that bitterness can cause death...death of dreams, death or hopes, death of desires, death of happiness and life. And God wants to bring all those things--dreams, hope, desire, happiness, etc.--to you..... The abuser (the devil) doesn't let you see that God loves you, but only that this pain in your life was seemingly caused by God. And since it was caused by God then he can't LOVE....
LIES....ALL LIES....
God allows things in our lives...I told him a Job and how he lost ALL in a small span of time and yet, Job looked at the devil for what he was, an abuser, a thief, a murdered...not once did Job turn his back on God.
Sex And The Woman Who Loves God
I"M STRUGGLING...I always have when it comes to sex. I've been having sex since I was a little girl (not my choice) and I don't know any different. My body doesn't know any different, BUT I LOVE GOD!!! AND I want HIS purpose to be fulfilled in my life.
So, the struggle continues and as it continues I will keep trusting and loving....
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.--Galatians 5:1
So, the struggle continues and as it continues I will keep trusting and loving....
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.--Galatians 5:1
Thursday, January 7, 2016
In the Presence of Your Enemies
So a friend of mine was suing her former employer for discrimination and wrongful termination. She had a strong case for wrongful termination, but the discrimination claim was more of a "he said, she said," and would have been hard to prove.
Anyway, the company wanted to settle and my friend asked me to attend the settlement conference. I've never been to one.... I can't disclose what happened, but it was a LONG day.
The Bible says that God will prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies and that's exactly what happened. I'm happy for my friend.
Anyway, the company wanted to settle and my friend asked me to attend the settlement conference. I've never been to one.... I can't disclose what happened, but it was a LONG day.
The Bible says that God will prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies and that's exactly what happened. I'm happy for my friend.
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