I've been faithfully checking my mail waiting on my letter from the Ph.d program that I applied to. It came today.
When I took the letter out of the box, my first comment was "Oh, no!" I had a gut feeling that it was a rejection letter. Sure enough, I read the words, "...I regret to tell you..." blah, blah, blah.
I was overcome with sadness. WHAT TO DO???
I had a meeting to go to and I couldn't focus because I kept thinking about the letter. Dag, why didn't I read it later?
I emailed my pastor's wife and two women at my church that I consider to be mentors. I feel better because they've been encouraging me, but now I'm really questioning, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE????"
I had a 10 year plan and I was fortunate. God heard my prayers and He allowed me to fulfill my plans. That was 2 years ago, now I'm trying to plan for my life and nothing is working. I've applied for several different jobs that I know I can do, but nothing has come of it. I'm still applying for jobs (I'm applying for a different job at the university. This will be the 3rd job I've applied for there). I'm also going to apply for the admissions counselor position. The only reason I didn't follow through was because I didn't have any money to send my transcript, but I see that it is still posted, so I'm gonna apply again. I"m also applying at another university out of town. I don't to move, but I NEED A JOB!!! I thank God for unemployment, but $1000 a month barely get's me by. I need to buy furniture that will cost me about $1500 for my living room alone. I've counted up my debt and I have to pay at least $4000 and that's not including my student loan which I hope will be deferred for another year.
Despite it all, I still trust and love God!!! I know I'm lost right now and don't know what to do with myself, but I still TRUST GOD!!!! HE LOVES ME!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment