Cousin's Day and the Rest of this Year

I made it up in my mind to move on. I've failed many times....

1. I feel like my career as an educator was a failure because I had high hopes and nothing was successful.
2. I feel like I failed with the non profit because nothing was/is successful.
3. I feel like I failed in my relationships because I think I should be married now, but my connections to Mister has hindered me.
4. I feel like I've failed spiritually because I KNOW God anointed me, but I was slothful and disobedient.
5. I feel like I've failed in my family because I'm supposed to be leading them....
6. I feel like I've failed in my finances because I'm still very much in debt.
7. I feel like I've failed in my health because I am overweight.

Now I'm here and I MUST move on.

There is absolutely NOTHING I can do about my failures. NOTHING.

So, I'm choosing to move on. I have repented and God has forgiven me so I'm moving on with my life. I have to motivation to move on. We've been learning about the fruit of the spirit and the thing that struck me the most is that when the fruit grows in my life, there won't be any failure. As as a matter of fact, there were failures in the past, but from now, there won't be failures....there will just be stepping stones and lessons learned. So, I need to help these fruit grow:

1. Love--I have to keep my heart pure, but it's a lot going on in the world and love can be challenge. But I'm going to guard my heart.
2. Joy--Joy can be difficult in trials, but this is where my strength comes from. The joy of the Lord is my strength.
3. Peace--Peace of mind is key to all of this. I can't let the cares of life overwhelm me. Let the peace of God rule in my heart.
4. Longsuffering--Patience. I feel like I've been patient through a lot, but I have been complaining, so I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
5. Gentleness--Sometimes I can be harsh with my words and attitude. I need to watch that. 
6. Faith--Prayer is the key; faith unlocks the door, as the old song says. I can't please God without it. 7. Kindness--Sometimes I' m not so kind to others. I go throughout my day in my own world, thinking of no one else.
8. Meekness--I got smacked in the face with a HUGE humble pie this year. Not just a slice, the whole pie and it was good for me.
9. Self-Control--This is a big one for me. I need self-control in eating, exercising, and my bodily urges.

So there are 9 fruit that need to grow in my life. The other day Mister text me and invited me to Cousin's Day. Dag was I tempted. Thank God I have to work, but I'm not going to lie, I was trying to figure out how to get there. Despite the fact that I KNOW that would be to my detriment. That was my self-control NOT working. And the communication triggered something in me that I need to work on.

And I'm going to work on it by the grace of God. All of this is by the grace of God. And the Holy Spirit will work all of this through me.