So, as I've been learning about character and integrity, I was still not sure that I had the full understanding until my pastor taught about it again. Basically, saying what you mean, doing what you say and meaning what you say.....
Integrity is being honest!!
Basically, If I say I'm going to do something, do it. For example, I told my sister that I was gonna be home for the 4th of July. I didn't go. Basically, I kept saying that I was gonna go and the day before I checked the train schedule and found that there is no trains that would get me there and back in enough time to enjoy myself and go to work the next day. When my sis called me in the evening of the 3rd, I hadn't told her that I couldn't make it. I was embarrassed, I guess.....
So, the next day (the 4th) I just stayed at home. She called me that evening and I simply apologized. Of course my intentions were good, but I had no business telling her that I would be there without making sure the plans were good. I've done this several times, even at work when I found myself in a jam. Instead of being honest, I lied about it.
For example, I have to do several events at churches which is not easy for me because I don't know the churches in town, so finding a church to host events has been quite difficult. But, when asked I told my boss that I had several lined up. It wasn't true.....That is a lack of integrity. Integrity will cause a person to be honest all the time.
This has been happening and happening and I don't know how to change it. I don't want to lie....it's especially embarrassing when it all comes crashing down, like this week.
My body hurts because I've been trying to cover up for lies that I've told!! WOW!!! I have so much tension in my neck and shoulders. I have a nagging headache that won't go away. I've been in a perpetual pity party...I've been miserable!!!
God, I NEED INTEGRITY!!
No comments:
Post a Comment