Don't Know Why But I'm Grateful

I've been on the road a lot. I drove 615 miles for work on Friday. On today I left home at 7am to drive 150 miles to work in St. Clair County. When I got there we had to cancel. It was 9:35 am.

The thing is I had this feeling on yesterday that something was gonna be up with this trip. I don't mind the cancellation-I still get paid even though it's a waste of time and money. However, in my spirit today I just felt uneasy a little. There was just something off a little. So I prayed for traveling grace and mercy. I prayed for my family. I prayed for the will of God to be done.

As the cancellation was happening I asked coworker to make a call for me because my brake light had come on on Friday. She did and they told her that I would be able to switch my car for another one until my car gets fixed. No problem, right?

Wrong!!

Before going to the garage I stopped at my moms house. Chatted with her for a little bit. I went to the library, dry cleaners and called my brother to see if he was home so I could stop by. He wasn't so I made my way to the garage. I got to the garage at 12:50pm and they told me that they didn't have any cars to loan. So I'm 150 miles from home and they are telling me that I can't get home because driving with the brake light on was unsafe.  So what as I sposed to do? Thumb it home?  I asked the service guy that.

I called my boss and she said that maybe she could get someone to come get me. Well my partner was in Chicago so that wasn't going to happen. And I didn't want my partner that I was working with to have to drive 5 hours to get me home especially since she has small children at home and she wouldn't get home til 6pm. So I told my boss I would uber to the train and then take Amtrak home. I got off the phone and realized that uber may cost me $30 but I could take the bus to the metro link that takes me to Amtrak. But the bus stop was 3.249 miles away. Hmmm....I did say that I wanted to get in 12,000 steps per day.

Nope....not today. It was drizzling outside and chilly and I had a heavy bookbag, a heavy file case and some awkward UPS boxes. If it was a nice day and I didn't have all my acuchamonts I would have made the hike.

My $10 uber picked me up at 1:33pm and took me the 3.249 miles to the bus depot. I paid $3 for the ride and transfer to get on the metro link. En route I called Amtrak to book my ticket. There were two trains--3pm and 5pm. I chose the 5pm because I didn't know if I was gonna make it to the train by 3. One the bus, the guy in front of me--who had to be about 50, turns around and ask, "so you texting?"

"What?" is what I was thinking. I said, "Yes."

"Can I get your name and number?"

"WHAT?" is what I was thinking. "No, I'm involved," is what I said.

"Oh, I had to ask."

"UGH," is what I was thinking.

He smelled like a distillery. I book my ticket and got off at Amtrak at 2:47. I wanted to see if I could get on the train, but I was sure they were getting ready to leave when at 2:51pm a guy runs to the window and I hear the lady tell him, "You got 5 minutes, you better run." He takes off running. The do a last call for the 3pm train. I go to the window and tell her I got a 5:30 ticket, but can I get on the train. She tells me yes and that she's changing my ticket. I take off running.

I get on the train at 2:54pm.

Thank God!!

I call my friend to ask her if she could pick me up. I get home at 6pm.

I started the day off with the uneasy feeling and I began to pray. I thank God for the sensitivity to pray. I mean, sometimes things happen and can go wrong. So I thank God for prayer.

ReFormation

That's the focus for 2017. In 2016 God began a work in me and this work is not done. He is making everything in my life right side up....

When I was purchasing my house I knew that it was my house because it reminded me of me....it was a good structure, in a good neighborhood with a good price, but it was outdated. I knew that I would be remodeling my house. It pictured my life. My life needed to be remodeled--the walls needed to be torn down and built back up--new!!

So, that is what's going on in my life right now. God is tearing down everything that is old.

I decided not to date during this season because dating distracts me. I need to be new, but dating keeps me thinking about the old. I mean, I have been having sex since I was 3 years old and I feel like I can't be close to a man and stay pure. That's not natural. I have fears in my life that control me and God's love takes away fear, so I need to be washed in His love!

As hard as it is to remodel my house and this life, I am doing it and I thank God for giving me the grace. It's going to seem like a long journey, but it's worth it. I can't wait to meet the new me!!

Vision 2017

I have traveled about 1500 miles over last weekend and in my travels I was able to visit my family in Bolivar, TN and Macon, MS. My cousin was able to take us (my baby brother, niece, and cousin) to the cemetary where our family members were buried. She then told us all about the land that our family owned. There is about 108 acres of land that is left.

I believe this is a myth, but I was told that anyone could go down to Bolivar to build a house on the land and that the land can't be sold or bartered. The reason I believe this isn't true is because some of the people have sold their land. And the land that is left is in different people's names.

I mention that because my brother, uncle and I were thinking about how we could go down there to do something with the land. From visiting I don't think that's an option.

However, in prayer this morning I began to think about my legacy and how I can continue my families legacy of being land owners. Not only do my family have land in TN, but there are about 150 acres of land in Macon, MS that my family owns. My grant aunt has about 100 acres of land and my great uncle has about 45 acres of land. My great grandmother's house used to be on the 50 acres and we were able to go visit both areas. My great grandmother's land have cotton fields on it and they lease the land to farmers and there are 16 pecan trees. I love those pecan trees. When we were little, we used to bring back bags and bags of pecans. They say that MS is the largest area that produces pecans. I would love to go down and get pecans off our land.

So in prayer I just had a vision of me and the next generation owning land. My grandmother's house sits on a corner in E St Louis. There is a huge lot next to the house, a huge lot across one street and a huge lot across the other street. All down the street the houses have been torn down. I would love to own the whole block. Then further down the street the buildings are decrepit. I would love to own it one day. I think that's what I'm going to work towards.

Also during prayer I was seeing myself working in health and business. I think I want to go ahead and apply for the MPH, Ph. D dual degree program at U of I.

Thank you Jesus for vision!!

My Visit to TN and MS

On Second Thought....

So Petrice and I had a nice convo the other day. One thing he said was that he didn't think you can ever "know" a person. That was interesting to me so he explained and I'm not sure I understand him. How can you not "know" someone or get to "know" them? I mean when you are dating, you learn about a person and you use that information to determine if you want to be with them. I even told him that the Bible says that you have to know them that labor among you (1 Thess 5). He said some other stuff, but I was still baffled.  Then he said something else that I didn't quite agree with....and it all reminded me of a time when I was on the bus listening to the bus driver talk to a man and he told that man that some stuff you don't "need" to "know." The guy and the bus driver was going back and forth. Then the bus driver asked me, "What do you think?"

What I thought was what the Bible said, "My people perish because of lack of knowledge..."

But what I said was, "What you don't know can kill you!"

The bus driver started back tracking. He wasn't expecting my answer.

Huuuhhhhhh......

I don't know what to do about this guy!! God help me!!!!

Am I Gonna Marry Petrice?

God shows us stuff all the time....

I was just sitting here and I remembered a dream I had about sitting here helping Malachi with is homework and Kate being pregnant and for some reason I was married Petrice.

Petrice (not his real name) is a guy I met a year ago. We met online. He's from Zion, IL, but he was living in Charlotte, but now he has moved to Des Moines. And we are good friends. But, I was sitting here and SOMETHING hit me. Like, really hit me. Like nothing natural, but in my spirit.

OMG, I have no idea what is going on.

GOD HELP ME!!!

When Did I Get Old Lady Legs

I looked at myself in the mirror on yesterday...

And

I HAVE OLD LADY THIGHS!!!!!

WHY??????

I'm only 35....and a few extra years. What is going on in this body. I HAVE GOT TO HIT THE GYM!!