We went to see, The Quiet Place. It was a good movie...my eyes were closed for half the movie, but I enjoyed my time. He doesn't understand that I'm not looking for a casual relationship, so this prohibits me from being open with him...open physically and emotionally. My brain won't allow me to do it. So after the movie there was this awkward time when we were hanging out at his house on the couch...barely touching. I was exhausted and I wanted to be close to him, but I was praying for the strength to leave.
"You not gonna stay are you," he asked?
I was quietly watching TV. We cuddled. I missed the cuddled.
"Dang, I'm gonna have to leave him," was my thought. This felt good, but I knew it HAD to end.
Why is this so hard?
I sat on the sofa and the strength came from my stomach. LOL.
Yep, my stomach was bubbling. It was the taco bell I ate earlier. There is no way that I was gonna stay the night at his house with the bubble guts. I told him I needed to leave and he was so pissed, whiny even.
As we walked to the door we were touchy feely and all over each other. He tried to coax me up the stairs....
"If my back wasn't hurting, I'd carry you," he said as he was unbuckling my bra.
DANG IT!!
I was struggling to maintain my stance. I liked the way he kissed me and touched me and put my hand in his pants to touch him. But maintain I did and I left him sitting on the stairs looking solemn.
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