So Ohio caved and sent me a text and I've been corresponding with him. I even sent him a selfie today. But, I need to pause and breathe. As much as I like being in a relationship and I enjoy his company, I CAN NOT get sucked back in.
Dang,
I don't miss him, I miss the intimacy (not the sex, but the closeness) that we shared. I missed being wanted and desired.
Dang.
But, I can't move forward. I feel like it's a trick disguised in a nice package. I mean....I had a moment yesterday where I remembered a dream I had a long time ago and he was in my dream. No, I didn't know his name back then, and I don't think he was significant in the dream, I just remembered him.
That means something, right? RIGHT?
But, that's just another smoke screen.
As much as I want to hang with him and get back involved, I CAN'T. My life depends on it, my sanity, my spirit, my destiny depends on it. So I thank God for the strength and I thank God that I'm killing this part of my flesh...the part that will ignore the fact that he's the wrong person just because I want and desire closeness and intimacy.
God, helps us (my spirit, soul, and body.)
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