Emotions

Yesterday was an emotional day and I'm not even sure why?? I was fasting (my church fast on Friday's in November). And we had to work at a health fair....well, not really a health fair, but a Homeless and Veteran's Stand Down event. It was an event to offer social services to veterans, homeless people and anyone else that needed it. The even lasted until 4pm and as we were leaving people were still trying to come in. One lady came in right at 4pm wanting information on emergency dental work. She was SO inebriated that it gave me a MAJOR headache. After leaving the even I was feeling quite "something" I'm not sure. My emotions were ..... I then began to feel a little.....

 Okay, REWIND. While at the event I ran into Mae (not her real name). We had been friends in a former life and I knew she was getting married so I asked how the wedding was going. This then opened up the door. Apparently, I was invited to the wedding, but I never got the invite. So she informally invited me then and I agreed to show up, but I was a little uneasy about it. I mean, the wedding is next week. I don't have a date and I know with weddings, you turn in the menu to tell how many people are coming...yada yada yada, so it was a little awkward for me. But, I agreed to show up.

Well, as I was leaving the event, that contributed to my emotions. In addition to the drunk lady.

I went grocery shopping afterwards and all of these emotions were swirling around and I walked down the isle and I saw him.

My heart started beating really fast and I had to do a double take, but he was with another woman, so I didn't want to stare. I think I looked two or three times and as they were walking past, I spoke, he spoke, the other woman just grunted. I realized it wasn't him. I was still nervous. My heart was still pumping.

I went to another store and then I saw another "him". No, I'm not crazy. This was a different guy. A different guy that I was in a relationship with. No, my heart didn't pump, I wasn't nervous, but I was still uneasy. Of course we spoke to each other civily. All of this....

Well, actually there WAS another event that added to my slight duress. On Thursday evening I saw "him". Not the same him, or the other him, but him. He was cordial, not stiff like he was at the church. The next day I saw her. I know, I know....too many people, but I've never wrote about her. And I really don't want to, but I will just say that I was uneasy around her. Not really uneasy, but just a little rift, not quite bothered, but something....

So, I saw him on Thursday....I talked about going to a wedding on Friday......worked with some really needy people all day on Friday....was begged by a drunk women to help her with dental work.....then I saw him, who wasn't really him, and another him.

I was emotionally drained. And on top of all of that Thanksgiving is next week........