Gov Guy: I met Gov Guy in 2016. I was really into him, but I didn't think we were a perfect match. I mean, I'm looking for someone who wants the same lifestyle as I do and going to church and praising Jesus wasn't his jam. But he was a good guy and he wanted to have children. I moved way too fast with him and emotionally I was JACKED UP for a long time!! So I broke up with him. Since I was having so much trouble with Mr Ohio I reached out to Gov Guy, which was a bad mistake. But in reaching out he told me that he had a stroke shortly after we stopped talking OMG!!!
He was in the hospital for 3 months. He had to relearn how to walk and be self sufficient. He was now living in Jacksonville, FL with his brother and he wasn't interested in having anymore children. But he was interested in me. OMG!! So we talk on the phone almost every day, but I'm just not into him. And it was a huge mistake reaching out to him. I did make plans to visit him while in FL this winter. I'll see how that goes.
So since I first started writing about all the men I was dating I am now down to only dating one: CB.
This is a rocky situation....
While the hurricane was coming to the west coast CB decided to come back to Illinois. He sent me a a text asking when we could see each other and he said he was in Illinois. WOW.
We start to hang out and I notice that he's only coming to my house. I then ask him why he never invites me to come over. This is when he tells me that he's living in the church. WHAT?
Yea, his dad has a church and he has a blow up bed and desk in one of the rooms in the church. WHY?
I HAVE NO IDEA!!
But, I don't ask him. Instead I ask him, "how long are you gonna be living in the church?" I mean you say you have all these houses? Why are you not living in one of them? He doesn't answer me. He replies, "I could be in my house today on ....." I ask again, "So how long are you gonna be staying at the church?" His reply, "I already have power on at ...."
Why was he not answering my question? I asked, "HOW LONG...."
I asked him if he was avoiding the questions, he said he's not. He just felt comfortable there.
WHAT??
Who wants to LIVE in a church? How do you raise a family living in a church? Not a parsonage? The actual church, like you are the priest or something. He has children. Does his children visit him at the church?
I'm not gonna say it's strange, just NOT IDEAL. I'm not visiting you at the church. He showed me his living quarters one day while we were video chatting. Like that makes it normal??
That's one problem with the relationship.
The other is the fact that I don't believe he's being real with me. I mean you say you want to be married, but I ask to see your finances. I believe that's a reasonable request. You want to know if I"m a freak in the bed and I want to know how financially secure you are.
He said he could let me see them.
Then the biggest mistake happened....
Yep, we had sex.
OMG!!! WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYY???????
We had a habit of him coming to my house and we'd sit on the sofa and somethings we'd be close and this one night he left late and I invited him back. We got into bed in our clothes, but of course I could not sleep and my hands did some walking and in ended down his pants. Then his pants came off and my clothes came off and his face was between my legs.
It wasn't the best. It wasn't the worst. There is great potential there, but it was not a good move. Then the next night he stayed the night and we did it again. This time it was worse because his member wouldn't work. Which is understandable because we are both Christian and we love Jesus, but we are sinning. So our spirits don't want to sin, it's our body. The next day he wanted to come over, but not have sex. I agreed that that would be fine and we slept next to each other---naked. Which is what have in common. We both like to sleep naked.
We actually have a lot in common, but the sin was taking a toll because emotionally I was losing it. I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore--twice. Hmmm, this is becoming a pattern.
We talked briefly about sex and how it's not a good thing, but I also mentioned to him that we don't spend time together, we don't talk, I have no idea what his goals and plans are. As a matter of fact anytime I try to talk to him he cuts me off and dominates the conversation. I believe that we could be a really great couple, but one BIG issue is that he's a Bishop (yep I'm screwing the Bishop) and he goes to a different church. And I'm NOT CHANGING MY MEMBERSHIP, EVER unless Jesus tells me to which I don't believe is likely. I believe that I am where I am because Jesus wants me there and I"m not jeopardizing my life by leaving.
So here we are a month after he's been in town and I love him and I want it to work, but I don't know how it will.
Oh yea and I forgot the fact that the third time we had sex I got a cold sore that morning. I asked him if he gets cold sores, he said he hadn't in a long time. But I got one and we were kissing. UGH!! That cold sore plagued me for 2 weeks. OMG. Then a week ago I got a yeast infection and now I've got to go see my gyn because my situation down there is not right. Something fishy going on down there. OMG, I HATE THIS!!!
I hate that we've sinned and I hate that he may not be the one for me. I need Jesus to help me, please!!
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