Strongholds Pt3

As I'm walking through this deliverance journey the enemy is really manifesting some things. Sometimes deliverance is not immediate and we have to "walk out of" some things. It's almost like exercise. If I need to lose 40lbs (and I do) I have to consistently eat right and exercise. I can't do it for a week and be done. It doesn't work that way. So last night I had a strange dream.

Background....

In 2001 I dated Marvin. When we met he told me he was single and I wasn't interested in him immediately. It took about 6 months. We dated for 6 months before his wife called me. WTH?!

Yep, he lied to me. His wife had left him and moved to Florida, but now she was back.

So I broke up with him.

Last night as I was going to sleep, I felt the panic coming. I started listening to Joyce Meyer and it was helping. Then early in the morning I started to dream about Marvin. He was working in some  type of office. He was suit and this was SO different from the real Marvin I know. Marvin was always a blue collar. Not a suit, but here he was looking dapper and handsome in this suit. We somehow left his office and I guess we were at his place because I was in his bed with only my panties on. WHAT?? This was such a strange dream. There I was sitting in his bed, I guess watching tv or whatever and he was sitting next to me. Then I woke up.

Again, I know that this deliverance is going to be a journey but I cast down and renounce every past ungodly relationship and I cast into in to hell where it belongs. I don't want to hold on to anything ungodly.

So I pray that God show His hand of deliverance in my life, in Jesus name. Amen

Strongholds Pt 2

I went to bed on Monday night. Nothing was special about the day or evening, but I had decided to fast and pray because I don't want to be bound by strongholds. So I've been positive and hopeful. I went to bed and all night long a spirit of panic plagued me. I got up at 4am because this fear, panic, and anxiety just would leave me alone. I googled scriptures and found a youtube video from Prophet Ugo about Overcoming Strongholds. This man of God blessed me and it really resonated with me that the spirit of fear, the stronghold of fear is rooted in pride. Pride exalts everything else above the word of God. The Bible tells us to cast down every imagination that is exalted against the knowledge of God--2 Corinth 10:5. So when I allow fear into my heart and mind and I don't cast that down I'm putting that above God. He said a lot of other things that I need to go over again, but that one point really resonated with me. So I've been casting down the imaginations and the devil keeps coming at me, but I keep casting it down. So I thank God for His word that is delivering me.   

Strongholds

So during this time of Quarantine, Staying @ Home, Staycation from work and life, I want to be productive. Initially I was just thinking that this was gonna be a short time to recoup. Then I looked at the spanish flu pandemic in 1918. That lasted 2 years. Then I read the scripture about the end times and the beginning of suffering. So in my heart I realized that this pandemic would take a toll on us and that life would not be the same on the other side. With that thinking I wanted to not waste this time. I love God and I want to use this time to hold up my relationship with Christ. I was reading Judges and how the people of Israel vacillated between good and evil. When a righteous judge was ruling, the people served the Lord, but then when an evil judge ruled, the people turned their backs on God. After Gideon died his son, Abimelek, decided he wanted to be king and he killed all 70 of his brothers and only one escaped, Jotham. Jotham pronounced a curse on Abimelek because he murdered his brothers and Abimelek ruled for 3 years. But during that time he was in war with the people and as he was fighting and killing the people about 1000 of them shut themselves up in fortified building in the city. This was described as a stronghold-a place where no one could come in and the only way to get out was the way you came in and it was locked and fortified. So what Abimelek did was cut down the branches of the trees in the area and used it to block the people in and then he set the branches on fire and everyone in the fortified building perished.

This was very interesting to me because in christiandom we talk about strongholds and how the enemy will use strongholds to keep people in bondage, but I never looked at it the other way--using a stronghold to hide for safety. When the enemy is coming after the people of course the first thing you do if you can't fight against that enemy is you run to safety in hopes that the enemy will not be able to find you. But the thing about life is that there is no safe place outside of the shelter of God. The Bible says that the name of the Lord, He is our strong tower and the righteous run to Him and we are safe (Prov 18:10). He is our stronghold. So when we are running anywhere else, we won't be safe. Its actually a trap to run somewhere else. The enemy wants to trap us in his stronghold. Some men trust in horses and some men trust in chariots, but WE (the righteous) only trust in the name of the Lord (Psalms 20:7). There is no safety in ANYTHING else!! Anything else is a stronghold of the enemy.

So as I was letting the Holy Spirit teach me I began to think about my strongholds--fear (God didn't give me that spirit), perversity (from being violated as a child), insecurity and anxiety (which are all manifestations of fear).....I began to see how the enemy uses those strongholds and how I use those strongholds to keep myself safe. I DON"T want to come out of my comfort zone. So if I"m afraid of something I just won't do it. In the name of safety I back away. I have fortified myself in my insecurity. I don't know a time when I wasn't afraid of something, when I wasn't insecure about something. And now we have a pandemic that is trying to cause my to be anxious and afraid. But God is not a liar. He said that He didn't give me these spirits and He came to set me free so I believe Him and now comes to work of tearing down the strongholds. Unlocking the door and coming out to face the enemy. If the people unlocked the door they could have saw Abimilek coming and they would have fought for their lives, but because they were locked up and hiding they didn't know that the enemy was blocking them in. We are not ignorant of Satan's devices (2 Corinth 2:11), so was have to see what the enemy is doing and we have to come against him with the sword of the spirit which is the truth of God. So the battle begins..... 

Activate

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. - James 2:17. 

If I don't activate my faith, it's dead. My faith is dead until my feet starts to move. If I have faith, but don't do anything, I don't have faith. It's dead, there is no life in it; it can't be used if it's dead. So I have to activate it. I have to get up and do something with what God gave me....

Thank God for the word!!

So my aunt died......

My aunt Gloria has been sick for over 20 years. She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes when she was pregnant at 30. This lead to diabetes and congestive heart failure. In January she ended up in the hospital and the doctor diagnosed her with continuous heart failure. The doctor told her that he could give her some medicine to go home and die or he can treat her and the treatment may prolong her life for another year, but 40% of the people who take the treatment die before the year is up. She took the treatment and they put her on hospice. 

She passed away a few days ago after a good fight.

So with Covid19 and the death of my aunt, now is the time to really activate my faith. The enemy has been battling me in my mine with fear and anxiety, but God didn't give me that spirit. So I have to stand on faith!! It's impossible to please God without faith. It's impossible. So I've got to do it. As a child of the King I've got to do it. 

The Warrior Judge

I was reading about the different Judges in the Bible. I've always thought that they judged the people, but really they were like the leaders--not kings, but leaders and they went to war and often saved the people. Israel kept going backwards and they would cry out to God for help and God would send them a leader--a judge that would go to war and get them out of trouble. These judges were warriors. They also dealt with the matters that the people had, but the went to battle for the people. God got tired of the people being rebellious so he decided to test them to determine their faithfulness. He sent other nations of people to come against them Israel and to dominate them God said, "I will use them to test Israel to see whether they will keep the way of the Lord...." Judges 2:22 So instead of the judges totally annihilating the enemy God kept the enemy around so test Israel.

I was thinking about this lately because I've had an issue come up at work where I needed to be deposed. Basically, there was something that I didn't do and I didn't know that I was supposed to do that caused an issue in a case. I did my job, but only partially because part of it I didn't know I was supposed to do and the other part was in a gray area and I began to fast and pray because I don't want to lose my job.  During this time Greenwood began flirting with me--sending me penis pics. OMG. I told him I was fasting and praying. Then I went to the grocery store on last Friday and I ran into Coach. OMG. When I saw him I didn't recognize it as him then he came up to me and I was a little shocked to see him. I hadn't seen him in years--since 2012. We exchanged numbers and he texted me later on that day. March 14 was my mom's bday so I ignored his text. On Monday I got to talk to him and he told me he changed his name to Malik. I get it, he wants to be a different person and changing a name is one way to do it, but in talking to him I wasn't really interested. So I'm not sure if it has fizzled, but we haven't talked again since then.  Then on Tuesday I logged into FB after my short hiatus and Bishop (CB) sends me a message. He says he misses me. SMH

So now I see my test and I want to pass. Thank God for Covid-19. There is no way we are going to be able to just hang out in public and I'm social distancing when I don't need to be out....

4 Dreams

We are in the midst of a crisis...one our generation hasn't seen in our lifetime, but in the midst of it all I want to make sure that my faith stands strong!!  God hasn't given me a spirit of fear, but anxiety is knocking on my door. I'm not a fan a Facebook, so for a couple of weeks while I was fasting and praying I shut my page down. I got back on yesterday and it was pandemonium. Covid-19 was in almost every post. The one that struck me was the one saying that for asthma sufferers the corona could be fatal....

In the past I have been diagnosed with asthma, even though I have rejected that diagnosis. Then I met a doctor who told me that I've never had asthma, but only allergies. I was relieved. However, in December when I went to the doctor she told me that I had asthma. What is it?

A few years ago I got sick, I think it was 2015. It was a cold, but it was awful. It was in my chest and I had difficulty breathing and a doctor prescribed me an inhaler. The cold didn't go away. It lingered for about 6 months. Nothing worked to get rid of it. Finally I took colloidal silver and it went away. Since then I have had allergy symptoms throughout the years: when the weather changes, or if I'm around cats or dogs...things would flair up. So I had a doctor prescribe me singulair. I don't take it everyday but during times when I'm wheezing at night I take it and it goes away. I've got thyroid problems also, so that contributes to allergies.  So this compounds my issue. 

Well, reading that post stuck with me and even though I haven't allowed it to cause me to fear, I am concerned. My job has grounded us so we aren't allowed to conduct inspections. We are allowed to continue to do other work related to the inspections, but no inspections with people involved. So that's a good thing, but my sister works at Sam's Club and there are tons of people coming in and out of that store. So far we haven't had any cases of the corona in our county (that doesn't mean no one has the disease, we don't have anyone who has tested positive yet.) So there is this sense that we will be ok, but when we look at the news, there is this question...will we be ok? One prediction is that 40-60% of Americans will contract this virus.  Our state has shut down schools, bars and restaurants can only serve drive through or take home meals, a few churches have closed their doors and encourage online participation....this is like nothing we've seen in our lifetime. So I've been praying for guidance.  I help to run a food pantry and yes people need help and people need food, so I've been trying to figure the right course of action.

In the Bible, during Joseph's time there was 7 years of famine and Joseph was wise and stored up food for the famine. Right now we are unable to make large purchases of food because store shelves are bare so I asked the CEO if we could shut down in April to assess and strategize so that we could keep food on the shelves. She agreed, but of course I'm not solid in my decision. I"m trying to make sure that we do the right thing.

Last night I had 4 dreams:

In the first dream there were these huge birds--dinosaur type birds (I don't know much about dinosaurs). We were in a church and this huge bird was swooping down to try to get the children. The bird was almost as big as a human and I along with another volunteer started throwing rocks and helping to hide the children underneath the pews. I woke up when the bird crashed in front of us.

The second dream I had was similar, but instead of the huge dinosaur bird it was hawks, huge hawks. The kind that are big enough to carry a small child away. And the hawks were trying to attack the children and we were trying to keep the children from crowding in one space under the pew. We were trying to get them to spread out so that the pew could cover them. The hawk swooped down and I woke up.

The third dream I was working doing my job and I was to meet up with my partner so that we could conduct inspections and we needed to hire a kid and she mentioned this kid that we've worked with before. I got the kid and we did the inspection only to find out that this wasn't a kid--he had grown up and was almost 30 I thought and I had to tell my partner that this kid was almost 30. Actually he was more like 25, but not a kid anymore so he couldn't work.

The last dream I had...I was sleeping in my room in a twin size bed. There was a bedside table and a lamp and then another twin bed and my sister was sleeping in that twin bed. Really early in the morning I heard the garage door open, but it couldn't have been my garage door...who would be opening that this early in the morning. So I ignored it and went back to sleep. About an hour later I got up as the sun was rising and opened the curtain to see my garage door open and two men were stealing my stuff. One had sold my car and they were stealing my tools and equipment and selling it in my neighbors garage sale. I was trying to wrestle my stuff from the men and trying to call the police and I woke up. 

So all of this is interesting to me. We are in unchartered territory so this will be an interesting ride.

Consistency

It's March....the first quarter in the new decade is almost over. What progress have I made?

Well, I've made a commitment to get the toxins out of my life and it hasn't been easy. A few weeks ago I left the door open and two mice ran in. I didn't know it until late one night I heard plastic rattling. The next few days I had glue traps (I know, not the most humane) and both of the mice had escaped from. I didn't know they escaped, so I had Greenwood come over to get the mouse. Actually, I didn't even know there were two....

That night at about 1am I heard the mouse squirming off the glue trap so I rushed to get a shoe box. I prayed because its beedy eyes were looking at me. I needed the Holy Spirit to help me. The mouse flipped the trap over and was upside down and I dropped the box on top of it then I loaded up with four more boxes.

 

I turned on music because I didn't want to hear the mouse thumping the box trying to get out. So I didn't sleep very much.

When I got out the bed at 7:30am the next morning I looked for the other trap and it was gone. I panicked and woke my sister up. She angrily came to find the trap and saw that the mouse had escaped from that trap. So I asked her if she could get the trap from underneath the box. She looked and said there wasn't a mouse, the trap was upside down. I told her there was. The mouse had flipped over. We left it like that and went to church. I messaged an old friend, Greenwood, and asked him if he could come get the mouse. He came up, raised the boxes and said, "There is no mouse." 

WHAT???!!!!

I had already had quite a bit of anxiety about this so having the mouse escape the tower of boxes was really stressful. I showed me the box where the mouse had chewed a small hole to get out. Then he showed me the trap that had so much fur on it. Poor mouse. Now my anxiety level was really high. I had to try to trap a super mouse. It took another week and a half before it was caught, but not before it pooped all in the stove.

This pic doesn't even show the half of it. I lifted up the stove top and poop was everywhere. Which led me to believe that there was more than one. So I trapped the stove then waited. After a few days nothing...So I moved the trap next to the refrigerator and bingo. Stuart Little was caught. I put another trap by the refrigerator just in case and awww hot dog, Stuarts brother was caught the next day. I was so relieved, but still quite anxious because it seems so nerve wrecking to have a rodent in your house. I'm still remodeling so I have stuff EVERYWHERE and who knows where those mice have pooped and peed. OMG

Anyway, those mice were a violation and I let them in. So it was another example of me allowing toxins in my life and me having to get them out. 

So afterwards I needed some help putting in a new doorway because the I had someone do some finish work in my hallway and I put up a barn style door for he bathroom. So I asked Greenwood. This was the wrong move because he began flirting with me... Oh boy...here we go.

A couple of years ago in 2017-18 I met Greenwood on POF and even though I wasn't interested in him he would come to help me out around my house and he helped me to put the walls up in my living room. Then he started to shoot his shot which led to him sending my porn him him pleasuring himself on snapchat. Things fizzled after that because I wasn't trying to be with him like that. So now here it is 2+ years later and he's at it again. He hasn't sent me a video, but he's send my dick pics. OMG. 

Well, about a week ago I got an email from my boss, one of the inspections that I had conducted was set to go for a hearing. I got really nervous and anxious again because I remembered that during this inspection might not have gone all the way inside the building to witness the violation. I stood at the door that was wide opened at a sales rack and watched everything go down. So I began to fret and pray because I don't want to lose my job because I didn't 100% see everything that went down. I saw the jist of everything and in my opinion that was good enough, but now I know that maybe it wasn't . So in preparing for my deposition I began to pray and fast and read the scripture in Deuteronomy 9 where God tells the people that he's gonna favor them, not because they are so good, but because the other nation of people are so evil. And I"m in the same situation. It wasn't that I did everything perfectly, but they broke the law regardless. So I had my deposition this morning after no sleep.

Now that the depo is done we just wait for a response from the defendant.....