And So It Goes....

I just celebrated a wonderful birthday. My brother sent me this card and I just laughed and laughed. I love birthday cards and my brother came through. My sister bought me a cake and it was really good--strawberry cream.

But the shocker was the weekend I had before my bday....I had a spa day at the hot springs with a massage that was too jerky and not long enough. Then I went to Du Quoin to celebrate my former adviser as he was being awarded by his former school district. I was nervous about seeing Price there and sure enough, he was there. We half hugged and he laughed as we greeted each other. I took a pic with the Doc and then Price wanted a pic of all of us. UGH!! We took a pic and I slipped to the rest room and out the door without a goodbye.

As I was on my way home I got a call from my aunt canceling dinner. BUMMER!!

I had a rental car until Monday and nothing to do on Sunday after church, so I went to see Mister. MISTAKE. I had a foot massage on my mind, but Mister wasn't thinking that. I gave him all types of signals, but no bite. Then I had to leave at 9 so he could get to bed, but I was so tired from not sleeping and all the driving that I asked if I could stay the night. BIGGER MISTAKE.

We ended up not sleeping all night....without protection.

I haven't done that since July 2012. And I told him that.

I forgot how not sleeping felt.

And now I'm....I'm....

I don't know exactly how to feel or what to do. I tried to pray and then Mister texted me to ask "what happened?"  I just told him that our bodies took over, which is what happened. But, I know I didn't pray one bit. I mean, the last time I was praying for the Holy Spirit to help me and He did. I went home, spirit in tact. Now, I'm ..... I'm .....

At least I got a great bday card to lift my spirits.

The bad thing is that Mister still thinks there is a chance between us. He said in his text, "I wanted to show you that I could resist my wants and be the man that u needed."

The man that I NEED is a praying man who loves God. Mister doesn't live God and I'm praying that he changes.

Now I"m waiting....and waiting....a few more weeks and I will know and be able to breath....