Vision

I was sitting in church today as the Elder was preaching and I just had to flash of a dream about an after school program. I currently writing a grant for it. I pray that the will of God be done as I complete this project. In Jesus name, Amen!

My Mirror

"You need to be who you want to attract," that's what my mom told me when I told her the fiasco that happened with Mister in February.

I've been working on me. Since January, I made it my goal to get my life--get me together. But, I met this guy and he is the first guy that I've met like him. I'm not thinking about the Pastor stuff he's talking about, but about him wanting a like for Christ. I haven't met a guy like that. So, I invited him to my uncle's fish fry for Labor Day.

And I was embarrassed.

He showed up and before he got out the car he said, "I'm not gonna tell them I'm a Pastor..." I was happy because it was already enough telling them we met online. As soon as I introduced him to my mom and cousin, the grilling started and it wasn't so nice. As the day progressed my cousin continued to grill him and finally at the dinner table he said, "I'm a Pastor...." Then went on to talk about his Bishop and how they could call him and he would say how good of a guy he was.

I was a bit embarrassed. I mean, he said he wasn't going to say anything. Then he tried to make a joke when they asked him about his church. He said he was a Jehovah's Witness. The whole kitchen erupted. Then then there was joking about how he was a Mormon and a Deacon. I did enjoy talking to him, but I was embarrassed and I told him that now he wasn't gonna have to live down the joke and despite what he tells them, they are going to give him a hard time.

Well, as the time has gone by and I've been praying about him, I came to the realization that I have attracted exactly who I am. What he displayed to me on that day at my Uncle's and even the first time we talked was the fact that he was a bit prideful. It wasn't that he said what he said, but it was HOW he said it.

And that reminded me of me....


He's my mirror. And it's NOT pretty!!

So, God, I thank you for showing me the pride that is still in my life!! I pray that that spirit, that stronghold is removed from my life, in Jesus name. Amen!!

God is Tryna Tell Me Something

So, this guy that I met, I've been talking to him to check him out, even tough the whole Pastor thing is not impressive. But, I had this dream and he told me that he had diverticulitis and he needs to have surgery. So I had this dream that he was in the hospital getting his surgery, but before the surgery he was cutting people's hair. I was in the waiting room just watching TV wondering why he was cutting people's hair. A doctor came in and looked at my really funny. I chided, "It's just mindless TV," and he walked out. Then I woke up.

In the dream God showed me that in the face of stress, instead of running to God, I want to put my head in the sand and not think about it. But, there are some people, in the face of stressful situations who will continue to, "be about my father's business," 

That encouraged me. I didn't tell Ro about the dream. Note sure if I need to. It wasn't about him.

Sit Your Butt Down Somewhere

So I met this guy on POF and when I first talked to him, I was quite unsure. We emailed at first, but then when he called me it was a brief conversation. He said something about being a businessman-owning his own business, and then he said he was a Pastor.

Ok.

We later texted and decided to meet up at Applebees for some amazing chicken wonton tacos. He is super tall-6'7", but we had a good time talking and then went to see Florence Foster Jenkins. It was a funny movie. We met again the next day and he told me that he was going to be near me to visit a church so we decided to meet after I got out of church. We ate again and then went to see Southside With Me. Excellent movie!!

The problem is, I asked him about his church and he said he didn't really have a church.

Ok...what Pastor doesn't have a church.

Is it like me being a teacher--I'm a teacher, but I haven't formally, professionally taught since 2010? So I asked him if he belonged to a church and he said that he didn't belong to a church, but was the overseer of a ministry called Fresh Fire which is a fellowship of churches. And his job is to recruit churches to the fellowship.

Ok. So, I guess he's the Pastor over Fresh Fire.

I think.

Finally Able to Go

I started a "30-Day Renew Me" plan for myself this month. It started off a little rocky especially with my diet. My goals for the month included:

Praying 2x day
Reading my Bible daily
Losing 5lbs
Saving $1000

Right now I am in week 3 of a 4.5 week month and I am doing a water fast. Actually, not just plain water, but chlorophyll water and coconut water daily. I do not buy the chlorophyll water, but I have bought concentrated chlorophyll that I put into my water along with lemon. I drink about 1.5 liters a day and if I'm thirsty I drink more. It was suggested that I drink about 2 liters, but I haven't. I wanted my last half liter to be bone broth, but I haven't made it yet.

I can say that after 3 days of fasting I feel GREAT. Acutally, I'm not a novice when it comes to fasting. When I was growing up, our church would do water fasting for about a week and I would try it and it became a lifestyle. Now my church doesn't do water fasting, we do partial/modified fast for 21 days at the beginning of the year and we gradually reduce our food and the last 7 days we drink juice and water if we can. For those who are new to fasting they can eat seeds and nuts (not peanuts). Also my church fast on Fridays too until 5pm. So fasting is a lifestyle for me. I will say that I was a little apprehensive about the water fast because I ate horribly the week before. I didn't gorge but I did have ice cream and sour patch worms (a whole bag) fried chicken and other fast food that I should not have eaten.

But, I'm feeling great and I'm not that tired or hungry. I have lost about 6 lbs, but I'm sure that's a lot of water weight. I do think about food a lot, but I pray and get to bed early. Today was my first BM. I was concerned at first because I usually have a BM when I eat, but because I haven't put anything in my mouth since Sunday, it's just sitting there in my gut. I do want to do some type of colon cleanser to get "moving" but I was waiting on some herbal supplements that I though would have been in the mail by now. I've read that if you do sea salt in warm water it makes you have a BM. I might try that. I am going to break my fast on Saturday because I have a baby shower to go to and then a retirement party. I'm gonna be smart...I bought watermelon that I'm going to eat for breakfast then I will eat light for the rest of the day.

Blast From the Past

A woman is embarking on a journey of starting a business after she was forced out of her six-figure job. As she's working on her business plan, she reads documents from her great great great great grandfather and how be became a millionaire in 1882 by owning over 2000 acres of land in Tennessee. As she is working on starting this business, she's reaching back to get strength from her ancestors whom she never knew.

Get Ur Stuff

I'm embarking on a journey....a business journey. God spoke to me in December 2011 and He said that I would be helping people with their businesses. In February 2012 the woman of God spoke the same thing...2 Corinthians 13 tells us that out of the mouths of two or three let every word be established. Let it be so.....

So, this is the year for me to do this. I was in the market for a new home, but I'm going to hold off on that so that I can get this business off the ground.  It's time for me to walk in the things of God and now continue to allow fear to stifle me.

I have a great, great, great, great grandfather who was an amazing businessman. In his will he left 13 of his 15 children land. On this land there were peach trees...it was farming land that he had amassed over his lifetime. He was born in 1825 and died in 1887 and after the emancipation proclamation in 1865, he was able to become a sharecropper. From his earnings, he began buying land. It was said that he had over 2000 acres of land (that may be an exaggeration). However, in his will he left land to 13 of his 15 children. It was enough land for each of them to have their own farm.

Over the years some of the land has been lost, but we still have some in Boliver, TN. My brother and I are planning a trip to visit the land to see what's left.

When I learned this information, I was amazed. How did a black man (colored or negro was what they were called back then) manage to become such a shrewd business man.  It was also said that he had a child with a white woman which was grounds for execution, but because of his favor in the community, he was only fined $300 and he was given the child to raise. Her name was Elizabeth.

Amazing...

So I have no excuse, but to succeed. He was even considered a full human and we had limited rights back then.

My uncle shared with me the realization that my generation of blacks were born with all of our rights. The voting rights that prohibited blacks was signed into law in 1965. My mother was born in 1960. She didn't have the right to vote when she was born (of course she couldn't at that age, but you know what I mean). Yes there is still racism in the land and there are still obstacles and barriers, but what my grandfather did was defy all of those barriers. So I have no excuse. I am my only excuse and I must get out of the way to do what God has anointed me to do..