Where I Was

What's the matter with this picture?

I've been visiting Mister and each time I show up at his place, I always want to clean. Mainly because I am uncomfortable being in his junky place. The other day he confessed to me that he's so used to having someone clean for him and that his junky place is symbolic of his messed up life. I told him that I FULLY understood, but that I was there to HELP, not judge.

Then it hit me. The last few times I've been close with a guy has been with someone who is where I WAS in my life.

I understood Mister because I was in that same state a few years ago. My apartment was always junky because of the state of mind I was in. Now I live where I live and I have some breathing room, I always want it to be clean.

Mister is where I was.

That was the same way with Coach.

But, I'm wondering, why do I always meet a guy who is where I was and never do I meet a guy where I am or where I wanna be?

What's going on with that?

I mean, I'm not going back there and it's hard trying to pull someone up....