I had an okay time with Mister on last weekend. I mean, I enjoyed his company, but I was just not interested. I was happy to be able to get him a cake and I hope he enjoyed it seeing him blow out the candles, but there was no chemistry. I mean, he's attractive, but I don't want to be with him. At all!!
So, why is it that I want to "be" with him. Not "be" with him as in sex, but hang with him? I mean, I guess it's because I'm single and alone and I want an intimate relationship with someone and he is "easy." I like him and he's an attractive guy.
The problem is that he is the past. He is my bondage. I prayed and prayed and prayed to be free from him. Free from thinking about him, free from wanting to be with him. God cut that off for me and now I have to keep it cut. My body wants that connection, but my soul is screaming. So I prayed this morning. After listening to Jeremiah tell the people about wanting to go back to Egypt and how they were going to die. I prayed.
I prayed for help because my heart is trying to go back to Egypt. I don't like Egypt, but it is familiar and it's comfortable. But, it's a HORRIBLE place. Absolutely HORRIBLE!!
So, I'm not going back!!
Now I need a distraction. God bring me a distraction, please!!
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